[Mermaidsheets]

Hello, I’m 40, a cis woman, and I’ve been married for 10 years. We were having sex and I was nearly to climax when it sort of just dissipated. This is actually pretty common for me. Does anyone else experience this? Or have any suggestions on how to keep it going? I feel embarrassed. I’m not sure what to do.

[JonnyR]

Hello Mermaidsheets welcome to the forum! What you are experiencing with arousal and climaxing is actually pretty common for a lot of women.

And of course, there's absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed about!

There are some things that you can try to extend this sensation and ultimately climax. Have you tried:

• manual stimulation of the clitoris? While your partner is inside you, you or they, can play with your clitoris. Many women cannot orgasm from just penetrative sex, so manual stimulation of the clitoris often helps to get them over the edge.
• Try different positions. If you were nearly at climax through penetration only, it could be that either that position is good (and you just didn't go long enough) and/or that another position would be better. Try many of them. Sometimes women love being on top because they control the movement, speed, depth, and can also rub their clitoris at the same time.
• Practice masturbation and having orgasms when not having intercourse. The practice alone (and you can even have fun with this and have your partner perform oral sex, or practice mutual masturbation together) will teach your body how to climax better, how to relax into it, and the cues you can use when you feel it coming to enhance it

Mostly though, don't allow this to make you feel pressured.

The worst thing for orgasms is feeling like you have to have one...that kills them for women, just like it does for mean with performance anxiety.

Don't make the experience specifically about orgasm; just make it about pleasure, fun, and enjoyment.

Let us know how things are going!

[Birdie_94]

Mermaidsheets that used to happen to me all the time. Seriously frustrating, but definitely nothing to be embarrassed about! So much of it can be a mental game, but I also found that if something was working and I was close, ANY change in rhythm, pressure, position, etc. could make it disappear almost instantly.

I won’t recommend any specific toys because different things work for different people, but finding something that can stay really consistent helped me a lot. I also got better at communicating when something was working so my partner knew not to suddenly switch things up. I'm almost there definitely doesn't mean go faster, haha.