[aj2sheds]

Thanks Little Man; I'll have to remember that for next time - "Don't freak out . . . don't freak out . . . don't freak out . . ."

This is such a great site; I'm so glad I found it. You guys are great

[WildChild]

Masterbation is NOT selfish.
I repeat Masterbation is NOT selfish.

Not if you are not depriving your SO of sexual pleasure.

It can be an excellent way of learning what feels good to you, what an orgasm feels like and can help you to be sexually responsive.

It is very likely that your activity in providing a detached, non participatory, non sharing, means of getting strangers off sexually, (remember that was just a job or a gift) has affected your attitude toward sex and your own pleasure. But since you were pre orgasmic before you started that you don't really have any way of knowing.

Orgasm is good for your health, emotionally and physically. Good sex is vital for a good relationship. Some men don't care if a woman enjoys it or not, they aren't worth your time or energy. A good man wants a balanced relationship, which means he will want you to enjoy sex with him. Truth is, if you don't enjoy it, you won't want to keep doing it, week after week, month after month, year after year. You might think you can do it but at some point you just won't see the point.

This isn't about the men or a man. It's about you. It's about you understanding that you are just as entitled to pleasure, joy and orgasm as anyone else on the planet. We women tend to have a problem with this concept, I know I sometimes do. We are enculturated to it and because we are child bearers and nurturers, it probably has a genetic componet too, but that doesn't mean we should consign ourselves to living in a sexual desert, sexualized but not sexual.

Have you seen the movie, Grown Ups? I love the older woman in that. Married to a much younger man, she is completely comfortable with who she is and her sexuality, she understands that it has nothing to do with age, looks, body image or how anyone else feels about her. That is a lesson all women need to learn. You are entitled to pleasure -all of it you can get. If you don't believe me, see what the men say, being with a woman who is sexually responsive, orgasmic, who loves to pleasure and to experience pleasure, is an epically better experience for most men, than being with one who just goes through the motions to please them.

Bottom line - you are entitled to orgasm. The world will actually be a better place if you do. You will be happier, any man you grace with the opportunity to share in the experience will be happier. The world needs all the happy, orgasmic people we can get! Just plant this in your mind.

Here is an affirmation for you:
I am a wet, juicy Goddess, whose pleasure helps light the world. I will ride an orgasmic wave throughout my life! It is my birthright.

[Colorado]

Masterbation is NOT selfish. Not if you are not depriving your SO of sexual pleasure.

If you don't believe me, see what the men say, being with a woman who is sexually responsive, orgasmic, who loves to pleasure and to experience pleasure, is an epically better experience for most men, than being with one who just goes through the motions to please them.

Bottom line - you are entitled to orgasm. The world will actually be a better place if you do. You will be happier, any man you grace with the opportunity to share in the experience will be happier. The world needs all the happy, orgasmic people we can get! Just plant this in your mind.

Listen to WC, again she is proving that she has a sixth sense about this stuff. She is 100% correct!

[jenn89]

I'm glad my advice helped. :-) I would say don't go too heavy on the wine--maybe one glass. More than that and it may reduce your ability to get there. Drink just enough to lower your inhibitions and not enough to affect your response.

Please feel free to pm me if you need any more details.

[aj2sheds]

Haha no I wasn't planning on going heavy on the wine; I'm not much of a drinker as it is, but a little might help to relax that much more, as you pointed out.

WildChild, wow, that was so great to read. I haven't seen the movie you mentioned but I will definitely search around and try to find it. Thanks so much for your insight; I've never really had women to talk about this with so it's kind of new for me. For whatever reason I've always been much more comfortable talking about sex with guys, plus just never talked like this with real-life women/female friends (I know, a little strange, but for the most part my girlfriends and I didn't really broach the topic, and not intimate details). But in this setting it's very nice and hugely helpful.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think it's good to not tell your girlfriends too much if anything about your sex life, it's intimate personal and often when you tell, they if have no morals and some "friends" are like that will go after your man

I am going to say this, your man is in love with you, totally wants to marry you and your not sure...

Why?

Only you can answer that, it will be that your don't think your good enough sexually hense the thread, and so you'll find the reason, the way and you'll let go and have no inhibitions because you love him backl so you'll work through this

Or you are not so connected and are trying just to please him because he loves you, in which case you have to seriously look at this, and wonder if the reason why you can't do these things is because you see him as another "male mate" and not intimate and bonding....

CW

[aj2sheds]

Wow, you really do read everything on here, lol. To be honest, I think that me not being sure doesn't have a whole lot to do with the sexual aspect, even with the orgasm thing . . . more because we haven't been together long enough for me know that yet. That sort of emotional thing takes me a while, and I've never really seriously thought about marriage with anyone before. That, and there are some big issues that we currently stand at opposites on, and we need to work through those first, if we can. If we can't, then I don't know . . . there are many important things that we see eye to eye with, i.e. financial matters, basic child raising philosophies, etc., but some others that are potential minefields. Unfortunately we can both be incredibly stubborn and headstrong, lol. I guess time will tell.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Thanks Little Man; I'll have to remember that for next time - "Don't freak out . . . don't freak out . . . don't freak out . . ."

This is such a great site; I'm so glad I found it. You guys are great

Well I remember back to this amazing orgasm that I, by chance, was able to experience, and I remember the initial shock as the tighten of her keegle muscles and my body reacting to it, and me think WTF ???? is going on so if your not ready for it, it comes as a surprise.

So yeah I really had to say to myself just relax and go with it.

Ooh boy what a ride !!! ***blushes***

I think to that maybe women/girls are also a bit freaked out by what is happening to their bodies, just realise that you're about to experience something that is incredibly beautiful and incredibly pleasurable.

ha ha oh thats good that I've been helpful, sometimes i see couples walking hand in hand, that look totally in love, thats what I like to see.

Life is too short not to be able to enjoy.