My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now. In the beginning we had sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. At first i really enjoyed it and then i started doing it because it made him happy. Now i try and avoid it sometimes. I know it's not him because this has happened to me with all my exes. I completely loose interest. I dont even get aroused and when i do it's when i'm alone. My boyfriend is very "free" and loves being naked and trying new things. He's a quite kinky as well, which I like, sometimes. But most times i feel shy and embarressed. I want to be able to be free with him. I'm scared that if I cant be the sexual partner that he needs that somewhere along the line he is going to leave to find someone else who is. I think that some of this "fear" has to do with my upbringing. But, how do i get over this? What can I do? I want to get excited about sex and not think ugh, im really not in the mood. Most times i lie there and think, ok well if i have to do this i might as well have an orgasm. Thats not right? I love my boyfriend very much, he is amazing. I want to make him happy but also have fun at the same time.
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Does he spend time using his hands and tongue to bring you to orgasm? Do you orgasm from penetrative sex? If the sex is all about him and not partially about you, I can see why you are not getting excited.I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
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Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia -
Hi Betty 07
Try an experiment. You boyfriend sounds like the venturesome type.
Get him to practise Orgasm denial with you for a few weeks. He should get you as hot as possible without letting you go over the edge.
See how you feel about him after a few weeks and report back. I think you will be surprised.Comment
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