[Lucy2009]

Hi folks,

I'm really embarrased about this. But I'm 33 and still a virgin. I have had boyfriends but nothing serious really until now. I've met a wonderful man who I've really fallen for but I'm really scared to tell him my secret. He's been married and I'm scared he'll think I'm weird. Do you think I should tell him, or just hope he doesn't realise!

[Texinator]

Sexual experience and history shouldn't really matter in a relationship. Having said that, if he's a wonderful man, he should be fine with you telling him the truth.

[Agony_Aunt]

Plus some men love the fact that nobody else has "been there".

But you should tell him, so you are completely comfortable with it, when ever it does happen.

[jns]

Hi folks,

I'm really embarrased about this. But I'm 33 and still a virgin. I have had boyfriends but nothing serious really until now. I've met a wonderful man who I've really fallen for but I'm really scared to tell him my secret. He's been married and I'm scared he'll think I'm weird. Do you think I should tell him, or just hope he doesn't realise!

When you tell him, he should love it.

[Hopeless Dork]

By 33, if you have led an active lifestyle, used tampons, fingered yourself or used toys... etc.. horeback riding, cycling etc... there is a good chance your hymen is no longer in tact anyway... and telling him whether or not he's the first is going to be something you'd have to probably do in order for him to know, other than that there may not be any physical indications of it.

More than anything your virginity may impact your behavior in bed and so that would be the key reason to let him know should you get to that point. So that he can be easy and gentle... so that he doesn't expect to be dangling off any chandeliers or expecting you to knock his socks off as you will be learning what its all about -- I'm sure he will be an enthusiastic teacher.

For some men, its an ego boost to be the first, some more insecure guys feel like they MUST have a virgin, because they fear the woman having had better lovers in the past, etc.. fear measuring up to them , silly stuff.

I've never really heard men freak out or be bothered by a woman being a virgin, other than ones that aren't interested in a relationship and fear taking the virginity of someone they aren't into would be not really fair to her, or fear she will develop some deep seeded feelings they don't want to deal with.

But if you guys are already into each other, i see no reason why this would be something he'd blink at, if anything he will respect that you've been so choosey and feel good about the fact you deem him worthy of your first experience.

I've had sex with plenty of guys, but then I went several years without sex and when I got together with my bf, for all intensive purposes... I may have well have been a virgin, I was nervous and scared and anxious and shy... but he knew all this, he knew it had been some time for me, so he was patient and gentle and let me ease my way into it... both that night and the nights that followed...

[Guest]

can women tell if a guy is a virgin??

[kristalyn_04]

can women tell if a guy is a virgin??

There are no physical indications, but there may be behavioral indications such as being anxious or nervous. The best way to tell though is communication. Ask questions, be honest. Between people that care about each other, it shouldn't be an issue.

[Colorado]

Definately tell him, there is nothing wrong with that at all...

[Guest]

There are no physical indications, but there may be behavioral indications such as being anxious or nervous. The best way to tell though is communication. Ask questions, be honest. Between people that care about each other, it shouldn't be an issue.

lol,my man wznt a virgin when he first touched me,but believe me,he was shivering all over,with my mere touch,and i was a virgin..i loved him for his nervousness to handle me,for being so sensitive.

[Ashlee T.]

I agree with the others. There's nothing wrong with still being a virgin. If he loves you, it wouldn't matter to him either way, but honestly it seems like most guys love the idea of being their womens "first". Plus, being honest with him about it may help him to be more patient with you when it comes to sex, and understand if you don't just jump right into wanting to sleep with him. Don't be ashamed of who you are.