[vroomy]

Hey everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. I am 21 and he is 25 years old. We have been extremely attracted to one another from the beginning. We started having oral sex early on but decided to wait to have intercourse. I had never been with anyone else... he is the first guy that even held hands with. He had one relationship that was 5 years before ours.
About 9 months ago we made love and had intercourse for the first time. It was absolutely amazing and we continued to do so and often. At the time he had his own apartment and I am living with my parents. About 6 months ago he decided to move back in with his parents for financial reasons. We spend most of our time together at my house and we stay up much later than the rest of my family. He likes being around my family and we don't mind hanging out at my place as I have a tredmill and all seasons of the x-files. We make the most of our situation and have a good time together.
The frustration I have is in our lack of intimacy. I understand that our situation almost warrants a lack of sex but I really miss it. Sometimes late at night we will make out at my house after everyone is asleep and sometimes it leads to me giving him a blow job. I don't mind having sex in the car in a parking lot but it seems like he don't care for it as much as I do. He had a couple of condoms left over after the move and we used those over 2 months. We have had sex a total of 3 times in the past 6 months. Last week, my boyfriend took me to the park and he had bought some condoms again so we had sex. It was very surprising and I enjoyed it but I didn't get off or feel totally comfortable (It has been over 4 months). That was five days ago and I would have liked to have had sex everyday since but he doesn't seem interested. He has been over to my house a few nights since then but he hasn't seemed interested in even making out like he usually does.
I guess what I'm asking and wondering is if you have any suggestion for me? What can I do to help this situation? How can I be less frustrated?

[WildChild]

At your ages is there any reason why you cannot sleep together in your parent's homes?

[vroomy]

That isn't an option right now

[missinthelove]

I've been there before! If you can afford it could you try getting a hotel maybe once a week? I mean atleast once a week is better then 3 times in 6 months. Could you guys go camping for a weekend? Or even during the week. I don't know where you live but where I do there are a lot of places to go camping over the weekend.

[jns]

I see this as him not having much of a sex drive. If he did he would be innovative about having sex and want it a lot more. Maybe it is the staying with his parents.

[Mr. Inquisitive]

I don't know, sex in th parents house seems like an option for me. I'd just be sneaking off somewhere and gettin' it on.

[WildChild]

Guess I have a hard time relating to this kind of thing. I was self supporting before I was 19 and paying for my personal needs long before that. With my own kids my attitude has been that I would rather they were open with me and did things in the safety of their home. I understand that the economy is causing people to stick closer to home for a lot longer these days but instead of staying up late watching old X-Files and working out on the treadmill maybe the two of you should be grabbing a second job or dreaming up a business plan to create some financial independence for yourselves. It could be if you showed more self direction your families would be more open to treating you like adults?

[caster]

After all these years together I assume you two can talk about your desires openly. And I do understand not wanting, or able, to have sex in your parents house. My wife, then 21 yo girlfriend, wasn't comfortable doing that either, luckily I had my own home.
For you two I'd suggest a motel. It could even add a little spice to your love life as well. Go out on a date and end up at a motel. Or just a planned sex night. The options are abound.
You don't even have to stay all night if your parents prefer you home. My gf (now wife) would tell her parents she was staying at sisters, friends, whatever, until she finally got confident about letting them know. They knew anyway but it was a little innocence game between her and her dad I think.

The first time I spent all night with a girl (old gf) was when I was a teenager and I got us a motel room. Still one of my best memories with her. Something about spending that first whole night together, sex before bed, sex in the morning, etc...

[vroomy]

Guess I have a hard time relating to this kind of thing. I was self supporting before I was 19 and paying for my personal needs long before that. With my own kids my attitude has been that I would rather they were open with me and did things in the safety of their home. I understand that the economy is causing people to stick closer to home for a lot longer these days but instead of staying up late watching old X-Files and working out on the treadmill maybe the two of you should be grabbing a second job or dreaming up a business plan to create some financial independence for yourselves. It could be if you showed more self direction your families would be more open to treating you like adults?

I think it's awesome that you have the open relationship with your kids that you do.

We are thinking of the future and looking forward to having financial independence. Hopefully this time of dependance will be short lived but meaningful. We are both full time college students with part-time jobs. I choose to commute to school to save money. My boyfriend goes to school online and works as an actor... His jobs can be kind of sporadic but he does pretty well. I am a junior and he will have his master's finished in about 3 years.
My family does treat me like an adult and I have great parents. They where very understanding when I used to spend the night at my boyfriend's place. But out of respect for them ( and the fact that our house is so small I don't feel comfortable having sex in their home.

[vroomy]

I've been there before! If you can afford it could you try getting a hotel maybe once a week? I mean atleast once a week is better then 3 times in 6 months. Could you guys go camping for a weekend? Or even during the week. I don't know where you live but where I do there are a lot of places to go camping over the weekend.

Thanks for the response Camping is a great idea.