[NKS]

Ok, so I'm 22 years old and I've been with 3 guys. I had no arousal nor reached orgasm with any of them. It was just uncomfortable for me. Only my vibrator sends me over the top. Ive always been sexual, I still remember in my early teens my boyfriend touch sent shockwaves down my spine, now... nothing. I was Lexapro for a while 1-2 years ago that made orgasm near impossible, even with a vibrator, but after I stopped taking it my drive got a little better.

Another thing is I feel really guilty after sex, and it's hard for me to maintain a relationship with that person after we've had sex.

[kristalyn_04]

Why do you feel guilt? That is probably the reason why you're not getting aroused, it's a mental block.

[NKS]

I don't know why I feel guilt. I just feel kind of gross & awkward afterwards, like what we did was a horrible thing.

[kristalyn_04]

Well, then there is the issue. You need to change that mindset. Sex is not a dirty and horrible thing, it is a basic and natural human need and desire. It's how we all came to be on this planet, it's how we feel and express physical intimacy, and strengthen our emotional bond with our partner.

Did you perhaps grow up in a conservative and/or religious household that had a strong opinion or moral stance against sex? Is there a societal influence perhaps that has led you to believe that sex is dirty and wrong? Once you recognize whatever that mental barrier is that you have against sex, then you can work towards changing that attitude and I think you'll be surprised how much that will influence your enjoyment of physical intimacy.

[Guest]

That...and taking a break from the use of your vibrator. As no man can even come close to duplicating the feeling. A desensitization can occur when one grows dependent on a vibrator.

In your case, I tend to agree with Kristalyn04, but it wouldn't hurt to hang up the vibe for a while too.

[jns]

Ok, so I'm 22 years old and I've been with 3 guys. I had no arousal nor reached orgasm with any of them. It was just uncomfortable for me. Only my vibrator sends me over the top. Ive always been sexual, I still remember in my early teens my boyfriend touch sent shockwaves down my spine, now... nothing. I was Lexapro for a while 1-2 years ago that made orgasm near impossible, even with a vibrator, but after I stopped taking it my drive got a little better.

Another thing is I feel really guilty after sex, and it's hard for me to maintain a relationship with that person after we've had sex.

With only 3 guys, I would say that is not abnormal. Many guys only are interested in themselves. Of those left, many at your age do not know how to get your body to respond or have reservations about masturbating a girl or having oral sex with a girl. Of the even fewer number left, many are used to foreplay in porn, which is very brief, instead of taking enough time to find out what a girl likes and taking enough time to satisfy her. Add that on top of your own insecurities and using a vibrator causing insensitivity adds up to a problem. Work on what you can work on and hopefully find a guy who gets it. Good luck.

[NKS]

Well, then there is the issue. You need to change that mindset.

I guess this never occurred to me because I never feel bad for masturbating. It's only when I'm intimate with another human being that I have these feelings and I assumed I felt ****ty over it because there was no pleasure for me. Now that you mention it, there were some unpleasant things in my childhood that may have something to do with it, I guess, but my sexual drive was fine up until a few years ago. I mean I wasn't physical with my boyfriend but I sure wanted too! I haven't experienced that feeling in years.

That...and taking a break from the use of your vibrator

I've heard this before, I think you're right. I'm gonna do that.

With only 3 guys, I would say that is not abnormal. Many guys only are interested in themselves.

The last guy I was with was 37. He focused on me but it didn't work. I felt nothing at all, I just wanted it to be over with.



Thanks for the advice!

[missgrape]

Do you ever look at someone and think, "Wow, I'd like to jump on that!" even as just a fleeting thought??? If so then I think you might just need to find someone you are more physically attracted to.

And I agree about changing your mindset regarding sex being "gross". I guess the meds could have had an effect on the sexual desire as well.

Good luck!