[hotstuff66]

i know that alot of ppl have posted threads before about not being able to orgasm with their partner but being able to on their own, but i have never ever been able to orgasm WHATSOEVER and i am so frustrated!!
me and my boyfriend have been together for a number of years and have always had wild and also romantic sex in numerous positions and in extremely naughty places!! but i've never felt so turned on enough to be able to orgasm! it is now putting a strain on my wonderful relationship as he thinks that i dont find him satisfying enough etc
i have only ever once come close to having an orgasm through stimulation of my clitoris and no penetration but as i really began to feel my orgasm approaching i got these uncontrollable twitches in my legs and lower half of my body and had to ask my boyfriend to stop as it was too distracting!!
i just dont know what else to do please help!!! whats wrong with me???

[Iseult]

Don't worry!

There's nothing at all wrong with you. Many women find it difficult to orgasm and some are unable altogether, but that doesn't mean they can't have a fulfilling sex life. By your own words, you have wild, romantic sex and I'm assuming you really enjoy it; if so, that's a really positive thing.

Contrary to popular belief, orgasms are not the be-all and end-all; a good sex life is certainly not dependant on orgasms. That doesn't mean you have to give up on them, of course; just don't let a lack of them make you feel like you are deficient or missing out in any way, because that just wouldn't be true. Besides, it sounds like you have come close; for the record, involuntary muscle-spasms are very common when nearing climax, so just keep trying, so that you get used to the sensation and don't find it so distracting.

Relaxation is certainly a key: If you become too tense, or worried about being unable to climax, it will make it nigh-on impossible to achieve. It's like a vicious circle in that way. Your positive state of mind is paramount, so try to set the mood with everything that makes you feel your most sexy and have your partner help by massaging and foreplay on occasion without it actually leading to sex. The more this happens, the more relaxed you'll become and you might find this helps toward bringing yourself to orgasm.

Also, don't stop playing with yourself! Once again, set the scene so that you feel as good as possible and try not to have the goal of orgasm in mind, as you will be putting undue pressure on yourself that will probably be counter-productive. Just play, relax and enjoy the things you feel for what they are. If you do this regularly, you may one day find yourself climaxing when you least expect it!

[housewife]

You should see you doctor and don't wait any longer , they will do some examination for you, don't worry , 6 women out of 10 don't experience orgasm.

I think that you should relax rather than focusing on it.

[AngelicBunny]

I read somewhere (I think wikipedia) that 70% of women never get an orgasm. I have gotten an orgasm twice with my bf, the first I completely didn't think was gonna happen, but I'm sure is was a repetetive thrusting against the clitoris, and I was ina a posistion that would've caused more of that are to be touched my his pelvis. The second, I was on top and was able to control it. I didn't think I would get one then either. Orgasms don't mean that much to me. They're not that pleasing to me, I prefer his penis being inside me and his enjoyment.

[lime_lemur]

Women are turned on in different ways.. some by stimulating the clit and others by the "g-spot", and both for some lucky people. It sounds like maybe you might be turned on externally (I'm like that... the only sensative part is the clit), not sure, just an idea

[Irelandlover]

If you played with yourself before you met your b/friend this will make it easier. You don't mention masturbation in your post. But understanding how and what you like yourself means that you can then guide your partner to do that for you, plus you will then be so relaxed because you have done it to yourself that you won't be constantly worrying about him doing it to you.