I'm 22 years old, my boyfriend is 23. We've been together for three months now, and it's my first actual relationship. We have a great connection and get along really well.
Sex was touch-and-go from the start - we only see each other twice a week due to work, school, and distance. About a month in, things were going great. We were having sex every time we saw each other, and I was feeling confident and open enough to actually enjoy it. He made an obvious effort during foreplay to focus on me. Then he started losing interest, stopped initiating, and any attempt I made to get him in the mood ended either with his blatant lack of interest resulting in me giving up, or me doing all of the work with none of the reward. I eventually just stopped trying, and we haven't had sex now in nearly a month.
I finally got the guts to talk about it (I have stupid insecurities about rejection and inadequacy, as I imagine most girls do), and he insisted it had nothing to do with me - he just doesn't have a very high sex drive.
I can't help but feel a little hurt - I have a healthy sex drive, and his lack of interest in me wasn't exactly good for my ego or self esteem. I still like him a lot, and when it comes down to it, I know how to ease my own sexual tension. I'm just having trouble emotionally mollifying myself enough to look past this fault and focus on the rest of our relationship. I've been plagued by dreams about him breaking up with me and the whole ordeal has frayed my emotions.
Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I care for him a lot and I don't want something this petty to soil our relationship before we even really have a chance to start it.
Sex was touch-and-go from the start - we only see each other twice a week due to work, school, and distance. About a month in, things were going great. We were having sex every time we saw each other, and I was feeling confident and open enough to actually enjoy it. He made an obvious effort during foreplay to focus on me. Then he started losing interest, stopped initiating, and any attempt I made to get him in the mood ended either with his blatant lack of interest resulting in me giving up, or me doing all of the work with none of the reward. I eventually just stopped trying, and we haven't had sex now in nearly a month.
I finally got the guts to talk about it (I have stupid insecurities about rejection and inadequacy, as I imagine most girls do), and he insisted it had nothing to do with me - he just doesn't have a very high sex drive.
I can't help but feel a little hurt - I have a healthy sex drive, and his lack of interest in me wasn't exactly good for my ego or self esteem. I still like him a lot, and when it comes down to it, I know how to ease my own sexual tension. I'm just having trouble emotionally mollifying myself enough to look past this fault and focus on the rest of our relationship. I've been plagued by dreams about him breaking up with me and the whole ordeal has frayed my emotions.
Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I care for him a lot and I don't want something this petty to soil our relationship before we even really have a chance to start it.
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