[Schroeder]

Dump him.

[tania81]

To Wild Child

Im in the same position it seems as you were! he also chaffed himself a few times by doing this! I spoke to him about this problem again a few days ago and he said he will try and 3 days later i walked in on him laying in bed MAASTURBATING!!! he doesnt get my point! we are now arguing to the point of a break up and he is throwing other things in to this argument to make himself feel better and make it seem all this is my fault!! I am normally a confident woman who in the bedroom do as i please and now i feel so withdrawn and unsexy and havent even got my sex drive anymore!!! I dont know what to do as i do love him and he is a good guy, better than my previous boyfriends who all cheated and were very abusive, I just thought he was the one and now im not so sure. Sex to me is a big part of a relationship, some people may find that untrue but for me its a big part and without it or lack of, i dont know if i can continue in this relationship!!!!

[WildChild]

Tania,
All I can say is that I loved him passionately, I still do, but over time he continued to withdraw emotionally even more. It just became too painful to continue. We are still friends but he has severed friendships with a number of people over the past year and is building the walls higher and higher.

I have a man in life my now who is very caring and affectionate. I would guess that I am much older than you and I don't know if I will ever love that deeply again. I too have had a number of very negative relationships and so I am very appreciative of this man's good qualities. I value him highly and am developing stronger feelings for as time passes.

When all you've had had been negative, staying with someone because they are less negative does not mean you have a good thing going. It just means you are starting to climb the ladder to expecting something better. If this man cannot appreciate what he has with you, you may have to keep looking.

Remember:
Every jerk you date, is one less jerk you marry.

[Snerg]

I spoke to him about this problem again a few days ago and he said he will try and 3 days later i walked in on him laying in bed MAASTURBATING!!!

Just at thought here. Most men will go to great lengths to ensure that we aren't surprised in the act.

The fact that you caught him in the act makes me wonder if he wants you to catch him and ... punish him for being a "dirty boy".

When you catch him in the act, have you ever taken over?

[tania81]

To Snerg:

I have never caught him before. This was the first time and the kind of guy he is, he would be very shy if i tried to participate with him. I just put this down to him not being very sexual. I have done some research and there are some men out there that just arent into sex and a woman as much as some other men. I find this strange but its true oddly enough! Im a 30 year old woman and love my partner very much so, i guess this talk i had with him will be my last effort to see if he will change otherwise, i will move on as hard as that may be! Thank you all for your advise and taking the time in reading