[alittlestory]

So, lately, my boyfriend and I haven't been making love all too often, not really. Maybe 3 or 4 times a week we'll get into 'foreplay', and it'll end up with me giving him oral or something along those lines. Which is kind of strange, I actually looked up, "boyfriend only does foreplay" and all got was a million hits on people's boyfriends NOT performing enough in the foreplay area, lol. The first year of being together (we've been together for 2 years) we had sex non stop, and over this past year I guess I've been giving him oral much more often. Although I love foreplay, I like making love way more! I know he definitely isn't cheating on me, and he doesn't masturbate, ever. He hasn't in years. But we've had a very active sex life as long as we've been together. However, 6 times outta ten it's me initiating any sexual activity, and sometimes he'll even deny me! I get so self conscious and maybe I over think it all a bit too much. I was thinking about maybe just stopping all sexual activity for a while. Maybe that will help in some way? Am I looking into this too much? I'm beginning to think I'm a sex addict! I'm just so confused, I don't know what to do anymore! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[ren_07]

Haha I just want to say that I have a friend with the same problem. She's always wanting sex from her man and is surprised that he will deny her. However, he's slightly controlling and sorta uses it as a way to put her down by calling her a nympho. Doesn't sound like that's the case here at all though haha.

It might just be that he's saturated with the sex and wants to explore other forms of pleasure more and has found that he likes getting off orally...A LOT! It can be hard to keep the spicy feeling going in a relationship as time goes on, but there are plenty of suggestions out there on the web and in magazines like Cosmo on how to get him back in the mood.

I do think there needs to be a degree of you stepping back a bit and letting him initiate more. Trust me, when a guy wants it, he'll go after it. They love the chase. I don't think you're a sex addict I think women sometimes find themselves wanting sex more than their men bc to them it's a way to be emotional and feel a strong, intimate, love bond as well as pleasure. Men don't have all the right chemicals to feel this as strongly and aren't driven by that desire as much.

[oxy-moron]

Hi
It is most likely that the issue is the Coolidge effect- look it up on Wikipedia.
In all animals there is a loss of interest in the partner after orgasm.
It occurs in both males and females but is worse in males.( It stops repeated mating with the same mate) But if another new mate comes along there is immediate interest.

By providing a lot of BJs you will be giving him an Orgasm without generating much oxytocin.
Look up Karezza - try making a lot more of your get togethers more about physical contact and less about orgasm.-- Give it a try and see how he changes towards you.
The author of the Cupids Poison Arrow says it is why a lot of relationships break down and I agree with her.