[Beckers]

My BF and I are regularly checked regarding our sexual health and we're clean.

The problem is that after one round of sex (intercourse or head) no matter how slow, fast, short or long a session it is, he always orgasms and then his penis is too sore to do anything for a day or two. I'm really concerned for him because this doesn't seem normal. I'm also curious for my sake because I want to have sex with him more frequently than he can physically do it.

The only thing I can think of is that he's uncircumcised so the friction put on his foreskin during a sexual act probably causes the pain.

Does anyone have any stories of their own or remedies of this soreness he could try?

[Ashlee T.]

Beckers, you may notice I moved your thread into the Sex forum as I believe you will get better responses here given the subject.

It's common for the penis head to be really sensitive right after orgasm, but I've never heard of it lasting a day or two. I'd say you hit the nail on the "head" so to speak with the foreskin. He's probably doing something to pull it too tight, or put too much friction on it. Hopefully some other here have experienced this and can give you some pointers!

[WildChild]

Does he masturbate a lot?
I was with a man for a couple years who had trouble with sensitivity and irritated skin because he masturbated several times a day, without lubrication and basically chaffed himself and it became more noticeable to him with intercourse perhaps because it lasted longer and the body fluids instead of feeling good became an irritant.

Another thing to look at is if he could have any kind of sensitivity or allergy? Are you using lube, prelubricated condoms or condoms with spermicide? Do you use any products vaginally that there could be some residual material causing him to react? There are so many products on the market with flavors or scent or whatever that people either during sex or thinking it will make them smell "nice" that its a wonder more people don't have allergic responses.

[Guest]

A normal working foreskin should not cause him to be sore days after sex. It may be slightly too tight or it might be as WC says. Immediately after ejaculation the penis can be very very sensitive, almost to the point of being sore, but this only lasts a few minutes, about the time it takes for my g/f to wipe it!
He may have to get himself checked out if it continues

[oxy-moron]

Are we talking nerve type discomfort or skin abrasion discomfort. Skin abrasion discomfort would show physical signs- redness or abrasion marks.
Nerve discomfort would be hard to understand.

Or is he using this as an excuse to get some recovery time?

[ItsASecret]

My boyfriend is uncircumcised and he gets sore after but only because he has been having sex and needs that recovery time. Soreness occurring a few days after is likely more related to just too much use, be that a lot of sex, or a lot of masturbation or a combination of the two. But if this happens each and every single time you would like to have sex more often than not then I would venture a guess that he just does not want to have sex as much as you and wants to use the soreness as an excuse.

[Beckers]

Actually he doesn't masturbate so he knows it's not related to that.

I don't think it's an allergy either because he gets sore after we have sex with condoms, pre-lubricated condoms, combination condoms and water-based lube, just the lube, or nothing at all. Either that or he's allergic to everything, yikes.

I don't use any vaginal products either, and we stay away from flavored and scented condoms/lube/etc.

Does he masturbate a lot?
I was with a man for a couple years who had trouble with sensitivity and irritated skin because he masturbated several times a day, without lubrication and basically chaffed himself and it became more noticeable to him with intercourse perhaps because it lasted longer and the body fluids instead of feeling good became an irritant.

Another thing to look at is if he could have any kind of sensitivity or allergy? Are you using lube, prelubricated condoms or condoms with spermicide? Do you use any products vaginally that there could be some residual material causing him to react? There are so many products on the market with flavors or scent or whatever that people either during sex or thinking it will make them smell "nice" that its a wonder more people don't have allergic responses.

[Beckers]

Are we talking nerve type discomfort or skin abrasion discomfort. Skin abrasion discomfort would show physical signs- redness or abrasion marks.
Nerve discomfort would be hard to understand.

Or is he using this as an excuse to get some recovery time?

Neither of us have noticed any physical harm to his skin or anything, so I guess it's nerve type discomfort. He has said it even hurts when he walking around right after too.

I would hope it's not just recovery time because we've talked about it many times and he's just as concerned as I am.

[PinkySweet]

Hm... My boyfriends also been very sore/sensitive before but its only after many rounds on sexual activity... Maybe he should talk to his doctor about that?

[Tommister]

Do not ignore this.

We really need him to be more descriptive. Just saying it's sore doesn't give us a lot to go on. I have noticed a sharp almost cut like abrasion forms sometimes just under my head on the top of the shaft on one side. It stings if anything salty or soapy or acidic touches this area. I thought it was from to much "washing" in the shower. I think the soap is too harsh for the skin or is it just reacting over time. If the pain is a throbbing kind from the inside and it seems to get worse when he pees after sex, he could have an bacterial or fungal infection on the urethral walls or in the prostatic ducts. Another issue could be retrograde ejaculation or perhaps a fistula (a slit or pocket where semen is going instead of down the urethra and out). The pain could also be coming from the prostate itself. Can he do a Kegal squeeze? (A contraction of the pelvic floor). This is how he would stop urine flow when peeing or how he would "pinch a loaf" when having a bowl movement. Does the pain get worse when he does this? If so it could be the prostate. How old is he? A $30 PSA blood scan may indicate if there is anything wrong however they are not totally flawless. I would also recommend a doctor perform a digital exam to palpate his prostate to feel for abnormalities. These latter things are in the realm of a specialist (urologist). Are you in the US? Do you have coverage for this? One thing for sure - do not ignore this. Although very unlikely, men do get prostate cancer young and leaving it undiagnosed could be deadly. More men die with prostate cancer than from it. This is usually because it develops after age 50 or 60+. Normally they just monitor it, as the alternate, surgery is too risky for this age and can lead to metastasizing the cancer throughout the body. If it develops young however, different story - it could become life threatening because of the time left before natural death but also because of the higher levels of testosterone in his body (which accelerates tumor growth rates). Don't let him be the macho man too embarrassed to get this medically checked out. The great fact is that if found early there is a 95% or better survival rate. That stat alone should cause getting check to be a no-brainer.