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  • elyonella
    Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 13

    Sexually attracted

    This is maybe a weird question, but I'm gonna ask anyway. I am 17 years old, and lately I have been feeling sexually attracted to a boy I know. He is sixteen, but he looks as if he could have been twelve or thirteen. Am I weird? He just looks so cute and innocent and small. I think this is really strange, because I haven't really been able to think of anybody else in a sexual way after I lost my virginity, because of my Vulvar vestibulitis (but that's another story), since sex hurts so much. Am I turning crazy because of my weird relationship with sex? I kinda feel like a pedophile next to this guy, since I am a fully grown woman with curves and stuff.
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    At 17 you are not a full grown woman, but it not weird to like someone one year younger than yourself.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • Elanor-Jane
      Veteran Member
      • Aug 2011
      • 211

      Originally posted by jns
      At 17 you are not a full grown woman, but it not weird to like someone one year younger than yourself.
      i disagree jns. some some girls mature physically very young, and i think this is what she is referring to. he is smaller and younger looking than her and she is unsure of socially how this will look.i think youd be suprised how physically developed some thirteen year olds can be. my friend lauren was breasts (double d) and **** at 14 and would often have guys in their 20's come onto her thinking she was 19-20.

      everyone is different and depending on life experience a 17 year old female can be considered a woman. there are girls that age that give birth. just be careful as if this person is referring to herself as a fully grown woman, physically or emotionally or mentally no one should attempt to take that away.

      elyonella- when i was 19 and went out with a 16 year old he was very emotionally mature, but still smaller and very boy like. super cute! we had fun but decided we were better off friends, he is to this day one of my best friends, and still goes out with older girls.

      if u are worried about what people think, this will plauge u your whole life and youll always wonder if people are going to judge you and your partner as a unit. ask him out, you never know he might be a really nice guy, if hes smaller he might be reserved but i find those guys have always been the worthwhile ones. shy with girls but class clown was always what i went for in highschool...oh and dark and brooding! lol have fun!!!
      If I knew where I was going I would already be there
      I wish I had more time. Judicious, beautiful, augmented, whatever.
      I've always been afraid to die, but I think I'm more afraid to live. (BC, SP)

      "I would go out tonight, but i havent got a stitch to wear!" Morissey

      Comment

      • Texasred
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 1216

        It doesn't sound as if the OP is worried about what other people will think so much as she's worried about what SHE thinks; she wonders if it's abnormal to be sexually attracted to a male who does not at all exhibit the characteristics of a "man."
        And that may be a valid question; she may be attracted to this guy because he is "harmless," he's safe, and because she pictures him as not being able to cause her any pain. That's an OK approach for now, but in the long run, perhaps not so healthy for her.
        Someone smarter than me needs to help her with her questions.

        CW & WC, where are you??

        Comment

        • jns
          Assistant Admin
          • Mar 2010
          • 8398

          EJ, I don't doubt that she has a woman's body, however I doubt at 17 she a grown woman's cognitive ability when it comes to life and when it comes to relationships. Physically, a female can have a child if she ovulates and depending on her genetics and environmental factors will physically develop shortly thereafter or somewhat later. But physical development is no guarantee of mental development such as reasoning and it certainly does not give her life experiences on which to base her responses.
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          ...
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

          Comment

          • elyonella
            Member
            • Nov 2010
            • 13

            Thanks for good advice people
            I just think it could be strange that I'd be attracted to a boy who looks like a kid. My body is fully grown, but of course it may be that my mind is not an adult's yet. I'm afraid I don't entirely get what you mean, jns..

            Comment

            • Ashlee T.
              Veteran Member
              • Dec 2008
              • 6412

              Do you find yourself attracted to children?

              Is the attraction you feel for him because you feel he looks like a child?

              What is it you like about him?
              "Be what you're looking for."

              Comment

              • elyonella
                Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 13

                Hmm... I don't know why I'm attracted to him. I think it may be because he has a British accent, which I think is cute beyond anything I've ever heard before, and he is really pretty...

                Comment

                • Mes T
                  Veteran Member
                  • Oct 2009
                  • 2678

                  I like "pretty" guys too. I even used to have a girly-men appreciation blog, lol. Uhh anyway...

                  But there's a difference between pretty guys and childish-looking guys... which is it specifically that you like?

                  Comment

                  • cocoa
                    Senior Member
                    • Jul 2010
                    • 135

                    Originally posted by elyonella
                    Thanks for good advice people
                    I just think it could be strange that I'd be attracted to a boy who looks like a kid. My body is fully grown, but of course it may be that my mind is not an adult's yet. I'm afraid I don't entirely get what you mean, jns..
                    Are you more attracted to his youthful look or to his personality*question mark*. It may be that your attraction to him makes you more appreciative of his appearance.

                    Do you find other young men with his youthful features just as attractive*question mark*

                    Comment

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