[Kihluna]

I`m only 20, with one child. Before the baby I was nearly a nympho, i couldn`t get enough. Since the baby I just don`t want it. From my husband or my submissive (long story and ?s pm me pls dont be judgy) I`m just not interested. I find both of them highly attractive, but sex hurts now. I`ve switched anti-depressants to try and fix it, but it only got a little better.
we don`t need any help spicing things up, we`ve got that down. I`m just scared of being hurt? Neither of them are too big, but it feels like they hit something inside of me that causing sharp pain and sometimes spotting? sry if this is TMI, but they`re both getting upset since its been a year since I had the baby.
My husband and I have tried every fantasy we have, gone back to basics, tried every lube out there, every position (which is hard since he`s a dwarf) even watching porn together. Sometimes it works to start out with but about partway through either I get hurt or I just lose interest. Its really starting to hurt his feelings.

[suntan]

It is really sad you do not enjoy it, one of the great gifts we mortals have got from God and yes you can make it more appealing if you totally engage yourself in him. In fact I have now, though I am a novice and have no much experience to advise you on this a great time with my girlfriend and we do not think about others and we can perfectly satisfy each other and we have the things to satisfy each other. I feel that two humans if they are free can suffice and they can make a world of their own and weave dreams and fancies and can be happy together. You are in a free society and you can talk openly and socialize and can even find someone outside your matrimonial relation. But it is challenging and will perturb your long cherished tie and will have to face so many shocks and therefore try to confine yourself within this bound or else you will have to regret Life is sweet and our dreams are wild and yet our standards and traditional values delimit us and if we trespass we will be left forlornly in a state of insecurity and now you have a baby and a loving husband though you may not find him sexually unappealing and many do feel so in a relationship in a while yet this sacred tie is something very powerful and though we may fantasize for a while but at the end of the day we need to stick to them

[rcoreyus]

If sex has become painful, it makes sense that you would lose interest. Maybe you should see a doctor to find out if there is a physical cause. Sex is really important to healthy relationships - are there things other than intercourse that you can do that you and your partners would enjoy until you figure out what is going on physically?

[Guest]

Sounds like you need to go to the Doctor to get checked out, especially if you have any bleeding. The ladies here will give you excellent advice about female body matters. In the meantime, as a man, can I ask if your husband is being sexually satisfied throughout this long period??

[Kihluna]

Thomas Hepburn
yeah I suck it up and deal with the pain, we do have sex, but not as often as we used to. He has pointed out 3 times now that I`m not the same in bed anymore. Partially due to my weight gain and partially due to the pain. I figured sex would be different after the baby, but he was a C-section so I don`t understand why it changed so much?

[Kihluna]

To add to the post since I read someone else`s post and it hit home. the "what can I do?" post.
I do the same thing. To both my husband and my submissive. My husband tells me all the time he loves me, he tries to hold me, tries to kiss me, but if I relax and try to lay with him or hold his hand he`s like "instantly" turned on and then I feel horrible because I either have to tell him no, walk around limping in pain for the rest of the day. Same with my submissive. He is an extremely "touchy feely" person to the point of almost annoying. Like the first middle school boyfriend or something, almost like a teenage girl. always constantly asking if I still love him, if I still care, like my opinion had changed in the past 5 minutes since he asked the first time. I`m beginning to think another major factor is stress. I have a child with my husband both have dwarfism, and then am living in a 24/7 bdsm relationship with my husbands best friend. ( Despite everything, the men are fine with each other, and there`s no uncomfortableness there. we have a nice balance with everything, just not with sex. At some points i Feel like a piece of meat that two dogs are fighting over.)

The past few months I`ve been irritable due to work, it was getting worse and worse and I was fired the day after christmas and now I feel like a mooch or my mother even though I like being home with my child and both my boys want me home and don`t mind being the breadwinners. I stopped liking being touched, it irritates me when either one of them try to turn me on and it always seems like its at the worst times. To help with the bills I spend maybe 2-3 hours a day doing surveys and it was agreed and understood that that was my "work" hours so I would need help with the baby and need to be left alone to get the 100something surveys done a day. But lo and behold thats when the baby is inconsolable and I`m the only one who can calm him down, and my husband is just so horny at that exact moment, or my submissive does something and has to be punished. Its like the world would stop turning if I wasn`t there to keep it going. and then after all that, when I want to relax and lay on my husband (which is a feat because of his dwarfism its difficult for us to hold hands or hug or anything)
And I am happy, I`m truely happy with both of them. I`m in love with both of them, in different ways and it is understood that should anything happen I would stay with my husband. It is very rare that we found a balance where we can live like this and my Lifestyle friends commend us on it. So at the end of the day when I`m tired and want to go to sleep, yeah I just give in to sex because I know it will put my husband to sleep, and since we are already in bed the pain isn't so bad.

wow sorry, that was quite a rant, and i`m not trying to complain, just figured maybe a little bit of background would be helpful.