[Setari]

My girlfriend and I have been trying to have sex for awhile now, and she always has pain in her vagina whether it's me trying to finger her as foreplay or actual sex. I use a condom that's lubed which works fine for anal, and she's always really wet beforehand from other foreplay too so we don't see a need for lube.

She was reading online about vaginismus, and she believes it's that but I don't want to self diagnose. But we don't really have anyone we can talk to (no health insurance so doctors are out of the question and the only place we could go cheaply is an urgent care clinic which isn't for this kind of stuff IMO). We have a Planned Parenthood nearby which we're going to go to soon but we don't know how much it'd cost to just speak to someone about it either, or if we can even do that.

But does anyone have any idea what it could be? It basically looks closed up, there's just flesh/the insides blocking the way in. She doesn't have a closed hymen for sure, she's checked with mirrors when she's not aroused.

We're both virgins, but she says she doesn't clench it either out of nervousness unless it's possible to have it be involuntary. We've tried many times so she's not nervous or anything anymore to my knowledge but she's told me it too.

Thanks for answering, if you do.

[DreamP346]

Its possible to be vaginismus. If that is the case, you an try to massage gently. It can be painful and takes a really really long time to work through it. Your trying to relax the PC muscles. Usually a physical therapist who is certified in PC massage would do it, but I guess you can try with your girl-friend. Do some research first. Does your girlfriend have problems inserting a tampon? If so, it wculd be vaginismus.

It could just be her body trying to get used to this new intrusion that she's not used to. She may be mentally ready, but her body is taking a little longer. Spend lots of time with forplay. Try oral on her. It may take many tried before it feels comfortable to go all the way. Remember, at least 20 minutes of forplay before you try to insert anything.

[Setari]

Yeah, we usually do anywhere from 30-40 minutes of foreplay, we knew that was pretty key. However she doesn't use tampons, she uses pads. I don't think she's ever used tampons. But we figured it's gonna take awhile longer. Also it seems odd in there too, I got to finger her a bit yesterday and it just feels like the canal goes down and under a bone or something.

[DreamP346]

If you were able to insert a finger without pain, then its not vaginismus.

The bone you are feeling is the pubic bone. The vagina isn't a super staight line. Definitely go to Planned Parenthood. They may be able to provide free care or point you in the direction of where you can get free care. They are there to help people. If you can't pay, they will help you any way they can. If you are unsure about money issues, just call them before hand and ask. They are usually very helpful. There are always places young people can get free reproductive care.

[Setari]

Though, the fingering was during anal intercourse, would that have a role in determining that? Also we'll probably just call them up, thanks the reviews for the place on google maps said they were generally mean and not helpful though so we ended up not going.