[backwards]

That sounds crazy right? Let me just say that I think I'm a gray-sexual. Basically, I rarely want sex and I rarely feel sexual arousal but occasionally I do want sex. I'm in a long term relationship and I have sex with my boyfriend because I know he likes and wants sex. It's hard to have sex when I don't want to, but I love my boyfriend so I just deal. It's a more recent problem since we've moved in together and sleep in the same bed every night. Naturally, he wants to have sex more. I try my best to accommodate him. So here's the issue: I feel NO pleasure while we are having sex except when I'm teetering on the edge of orgasm. It doesn't seem to make sense! Just to put things in perspective a bit, I honestly can not fathom feeling pleasure throughout sex because I only feel good right before and during an orgasm! Part of me feels like I shouldn't be complaining but this problem makes me not want sex at all. The whole time we're having sex I'm pretending to enjoy it in an effort to trick myself. Maybe if I act like it feels good then it will. Has anyone ever dealt with this? I know usually women complain of not being able to orgasm, but they say sex feels good. I'm so baffled by my body. I'm at my wits end. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

[DreamP346]

Each person is built differently and we enjoy things in life differently. Hollywood has us believe that sex is a certain way - all women enjoy penetration, women can orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone, etc. Well, we are all just very different and sex works differently for all of us. Open your mind up to thinking about sex differenly. So the part that leads up to orgasm is just OK. As long as it doesn't hurt or feel unpleasant, try to enjoy the idea of giving your partner pleasure. You still have the enjoyment of orgasm to look forward to. Try not to feel like sex has to be a certain way, then you will be more receptive to the idea of sex if you accept that you enjoy things differently and that you are special for it.

[backwards]

Each person is built differently and we enjoy things in life differently. Hollywood has us believe that sex is a certain way - all women enjoy penetration, women can orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone, etc. Well, we are all just very different and sex works differently for all of us. Open your mind up to thinking about sex differenly. So the part that leads up to orgasm is just OK. As long as it doesn't hurt or feel unpleasant, try to enjoy the idea of giving your partner pleasure. You still have the enjoyment of orgasm to look forward to. Try not to feel like sex has to be a certain way, then you will be more receptive to the idea of sex if you accept that you enjoy things differently and that you are special for it.

Thank you for responding. I do think that it could be a psychological thing. I'm not sure if I can fix it on my own and I plan on seeing a therapist for other reasons. Maybe it'll help in this area too.

[DreamP346]

Thank you for responding. I do think that it could be a psychological thing. I'm not sure if I can fix it on my own and I plan on seeing a therapist for other reasons. Maybe it'll help in this area too.

The everyday therapist is not trained to handled sexual issues. If possible, go see a sex therapist. They are therapist who specialize in sex so they do regular therapy as well. Check the AASECT website to find one near you.