[LetyshaG]

OK so i haven't found out yet but i have a very strong feeling my boyfriend is bi/gay..........it first started when i looked at his Facebook messages and seen him asking other men if they were into men.......me being annoyed i asked him about it and he said someone hacked his account....which could have been true.....then i found gay porn on the computer. then a hidden Facebook account and Skype on which he was contacting men and having jerk sessions on the webcam......now all this being said i would be open to the idea of watching gay porn and having sex to it if there is no actual sexual contact with him and another male....but i would like to know the truth....in need of some advice....i know he loves me but i think that he is confused or something.....any advice for me?

[Little]

I moved your post to a new thread since the last one was quite old.

The base advice I can give you is that being bisexual does NOT mean you can't be monogamous. I'm a bisexual woman in a very happy monogamous marriage with a man - I don't want to go out and be with women or play at being with a woman online. Good thing too, because my husband wouldn't want me to!

So, the question to ask yourself, is what YOU want out of your relationship. What YOU're comfortable with. You say you wouldn't mind being a little bit "open" in your relationship, so long as there wasn't actual physical contact with another person. Let your boyfriend know that. Ask him to please be honest about his activities.
But know that if he's being sneaky about this much, if he is just now discovering his sexuality and coming to decisions about what his "leaning" is, he may feel like he can also sneak to have sex with other people and get away with it. Do you trust him enough to believe this won't happen? If not, think hard about staying. Bisexuality is NOT an excuse to cheat.

[alex0_0]

that is a crazy situation, but yeah I agree that you need to get to the bottom of it fairly quick.

[Hugo-B]

My GF's ex is bisexual. She believes he was faithful to her throughout their entire relationship. He told her he goes through stages where he finds women more attractive than men and vice versa.

I think the one biggest problem your BF will have is accepting his sexuality. Due to social stereotyping and prejudice many gay/bisexual are at least secretive about their sexuality and many don't actually want to be gay at all. Whereas it's 'hot' for women to be bi, and/or experiment a man only has to 'dabble' once and he gets labelled a 'poof' for the rest of his life.

I've met my GF's ex (we went out together one night) and I personally think he's more gay than bi, and he admitted to her (his ex, my GF) that he would rather not revert back to men since he would have to 'come out' and doesn't want to upset his place in his current social setting. I find this very sad.

It's an unfortunate fact that many gay men try hard to repress their homosexuality to make their lives easier. As I mentioned in another thread, if I woke up tomorrow with homosexual inclinations I don't think I'd want to tell my friends, and I would likely try and repress those feelings and get on with my life; and I believe it would certainly make life much more complicated for me, in a negative sense.

I'm saying this to try and hurt you; you know your BF, I don't. I'm just proffering this as food for thought because the most convenient smokescreen for gay/bi men is a GF. He may just be confused and has likely not told you through (unnecessary) shame and embarrassment, not deceit.

If he is bi, and tells you he loves you and you believe him - then I agree with Little - I see no reason why you cannot enjoy a loving relationship with him. I just want you to be aware of the possibility that he is grappling with his sexuality and has been repressing it. Your problem is not unusual and there have been a few threads about this recently.

Good luck.