[chavezmaria51]

I Dont Noe Wut To So Since Im Already Really Self Concies & Now He Told Me That He Looses Intrest Durinq Intamacy. He Also Said It Was My Fault He Doesnt Stay Hard For So Linq. Wut Should I Do ?

[acerousme]

Maybe try something different? Ask him about what turns him on? A naughty school girl? Maybe some roleplaying will get him going?


Have you tried different positions? is sex always the same for you?

[Element]

May I ask how old you are? If a guy is losing interest in his woman during sex, I think you guys need a very long talk and to take a step back on such serious intimate acts.

[jns]

What do the two of you do for foreplay? If sex is built up by foreplay, he should not lose an erection unless he is very nervous or he has erectile dysfunction. Try joking with him to get rid of the nervousness. How old are the two of you? In what ways are you self conscious?

[Ashlee T.]

Telling someone that it's their fault you can't stay aroused is hurtful, rude, inappropriate etc. Blame, in that setting, creates insecurities, lack of self confidence, and those things just lead to further issues.

Frankly, if this man loved you, in my opinion he would be doing everything in his power to fix this issue. If you truly needed to do things differently, he'd be leading you in that direction without insulting you. How many times have I been with guys who thought they were doing something great for me when in fact I wasn't really enjoying it? Lots...but I cared enough to move their hand or ask for something different, etc. I didn't say "Ugh..now I'm turned off and it's YOUR fault". That's just plain ugly.

My last bf had an issue with maintaining an erection during sex. Part of the issue was his feelings of inadequacy both in size and ability. But part of it was the fact that he masturbated so much that my vagina could not provide him the friction that his hand could, and he would therefore, lose his erection. It was his issue...and he never once tried to blame me for it.

I know it sounds hardheaded and stubborn, maybe even a bit spiteful, but I would not be bending over backwards exhausting myself to try to give this guy a boner. Having been there myself, all that does is cause stress for you and will eliminate your enjoyment of any sex that may occur as a result. I got to the point I hated sleeping with this guy because I felt like if I moved a certain way, or stopped for a half second, or looked at him the wrong way, or said the wrong thing then he was going to go limp.

My thoughts are that if he truly loves you, he's going to work WITH you to show you what he likes and doesn't like. Belittling you and making you feel insecure and low self esteem is NOT the way a man who loves you would handle this type of situation. There's a HUGE chance that his lack of ability to maintain an erection has nothing to do with you.

[DreamP346]

I agree with BD. More than likely there are other issues going on with your partner that is causing him to lose his erection and because he doesn't want to admit his own issues, he is placing the blame on you. He needs to figure out how to stay hard by himself before engaging in sex with you.

Your job is not to find out new ways to entice him, but help him figure out what is going on with HIM. Help him understand that this is his problem but you are willing to work with him. The first step is for him to admit that its him problem.