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  • Vaginal 'size'...

    Sorry for the long post... if cannot be bothered to read all this, please scroll down to the cliff notes at the bottom...

    One of the things I've recently come to realize, is that women - unfortunately, and unnecessarily in most instances - seem to worry about their vaginas just as much as men worry about the size of their penises.

    The thing that surprises me the most is that some women, seem to be very concerned about the size of their vaginas.

    The following are not assertions, just my understanding of vaginal 'size' based on my current experiences to date as a (32 year old) man, and on reading/research I have done.

    I am happy to be corrected on anything I say/believe which is incorrect and to listen to peoples' experiences and opinions, and, as I said, I'm not trying to 'lay down the Law', I realize there is a lot to be learned here and hopefully this may be reassuring/informative to any of the ladies who are concerned about their 'size'.

    It also appears that - in keeping with men who obsess to an unhealthy degree about their penis size - women who obsess about their vaginal size do so because of negative/thoughtless comments made by members of the opposite sex, which is obviously unfortunate.


    Here goes, LOL...

    Vaginal size and childbirth: Firstly, every healthy women, bar a few with physical/medical complications is physically capable of giving birth to a baby. (duh, such a boy thing to say, what else would it be? I decided not to delete the 'to a baby' comment out of humility.)

    A new born baby typically weighs what, 5-10LB's? And it's a given that a typical, healthy woman can give birth to one.

    During childbirth the vagina will dilate to make the birth less painful but my understanding is that it can stretch the muscles of the vagina, resulting in permanent stretching and consequently physical enlargement of the vagina. My understanding is this is the only way a vagina can be made bigger, through physically stretching the muscles.

    This means that after childbirth a women's vagina may be noticeably larger to her partner (and maybe her?), with kegal exercises being the only way to try and reverse this, because they help to tighten the muscles. I don't have children so cannot make a comparison based on size 'before' and 'after' i.e, as a husband and father may be able to.

    Vaginal size in general: Firstly, as open minded as I 'fancy' myself to be, there are two expressions in particular that makes me feel physically sick down to my very core, the first is when a women refers to her vagina as a 'growler', and the second is when men say they like a 'nice tight *****'.

    To me this, 'nice tight *****' comment was always an oxymoron: when I first became intimate with a girl (my first GF) I always took it as a compliment and as a given that when she became very wet and loose (during foreplay) that it was because I was doing my job of arousing her properly; isn't every women 'tight' until she's relaxed and aroused? You can't have it both ways can you? Does that mean that what these men want is a women who's vagina gets wet when she's aroused but doesn't dilate? They sound like men with 'size issues' to me. I think the key thing with men who want 'tightness' is that it serves no other purpose than to make them 'feel' bigger. I think this is why many men like anal, I don't like anal sex and don't enjoy the feeling of anything too tight around my penis so maybe I'm the odd one out.

    I can remember having sex once when I was very inexperienced and my GF became so wet I couldn't feel much resistance, so I started spooning her, which solved the problem, but even then I didn't think she was too big (or I was too small) I took this a compliment, that I had done my job properly of arousing her. She was capable of giving birth after all.

    I've only had one experience with a virgin and we just fooled around together, but I can remember her being so tight I could only just get my finger into her, I believe this is called 'vaginismus' and is a common sexual problem for girls, comparable to PE and ED in inexperienced men, so I won't try and discuss it any further as that's all I know and it isn't really relevant.

    I also chatted to a girl who worked as a prostitute, who told me her vagina would become looser and slightly bigger during the periods of time she 'worked'. (she said she did the job on and off.) She said the constant sex with penises of various sizes (without her being genuinely aroused) would just lead to relaxing and temporary stretching of the vagina, but it would return to normal a few weeks after she stopped working. I don't take this to mean that a girl who is 'bigger' or 'looser' has a lot of sex with many different men, my interpretation was that her vagina adapted to being penetrated regularly without the need for her to be legitimately aroused. I suppose this could be comparable to a man who's more relationship orientated and can only get an erection with a women who he's secure with and loves, to a man who is more casual sex orientated and can easily become aroused with a women he barely knows, if that makes sense? (there's no credit or shame in being either way IMO.)

    Another girl I am good friends with and tell everything too, and she's 'been around' LOL told me she met a man with a penis so big it hung when it was erect. She said her last BF was 'average' so probably about 5-6 inches and it took her a week or so of having sex every night for her to get used to him and for it to not hurt. She also said her vagina went back to 'normal' soon after she stopped sleeping with him. I interpret this to mean the muscles of the vagina, like the rest of the muscles in the body have 'memory' and her body physically adapted to his size.

    I interpret this to mean that just because a women is physically capable of accommodating something 'in' her like a baby or a large penis it doesn't mean it is pleasant and wont hurt. e.g childbirth is very painful and can potentially damage a vagina, and a huge penis/dildo can cause pain but is smaller than a baby and is something you can become used to and start to enjoy.

    I'm not sure if a women's vagina would tighten if she abstained from sex for several months? I have heard girls say this but I think they were being flippant? Would this be more psychological where they just hadn't experienced having anything in them for so long?


    Cliff notes: Am I correct or incorrect thinking the following?

    1) Vaginal size varies from women to women, but all healthy women are capable of childbirth, which can permanently stretch the muscles of the vagina resulting in the vagina becoming larger.

    2) All womens' vaginas are tight (or at least not self lubricated and dilated) when they are not aroused, arousing a women will result in her vagina dilating, self lubricating and becoming looser/bigger: men, don't expect it to stay 'tight' if you have aroused her! A woman's vagina is SUPPOSED to be looser/larger when she is aroused.

    3) the size of a women's vagina when she is aroused can vary somewhat based on i) degree of arousal; ii) how relaxed and experienced the women is; iii) whether or not she's had children; iv) her individual body size

    4) A women can, with some getting used to, adjust to accommodating a different sized penis from that which she is used to. Obviously the bigger the more adjustment time is required.

    Personally I've never observed a 'noticeable' disparity in the size of womens' vaginas when they are aroused, and I've slept with women who span the entire gamut: from UK size 6 to size 16, a petite mother who's given birth to a 10LB baby, an 18 year old size 10 girl who'd sept with probably less than 10 men, a woman who'd slept with 'lots' of men etc...
    "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

  • The very simple and to the point explanation is the vagina acts as an elastic band. It will accommodate to the object in there but it is not instant, it does take some getting used to on the part of the muscles.

    Actual vagina size varies somewhat between women but in reality it is only a few inches in length and the rest of the accommodating is done by the muscles relaxing and allowing something to be in there without tearing to occur. Again not an instant thing. The more relaxed the muscles the more tension can be placed on it without it immediately tearing. Once not in use the vagina goes back to a natural resting state and the muscles will once again be tighter, having a lot of sex with a lot of men makes no difference since the muscles do rebound back to a natural state that her particular body is used to. However a woman's vagina can be more "loose" for a longer period of time if she is constantly having sex with minimal breaks...in that case there is no real time to have the muscles rest as they are always in use. Having a baby though can tear muscles and hence the elasticity can be somewhat lost and as a result less "tight" feeling.

    When the vaginal muscles do not accommodate or are not used enough, such as no sex or no practicing of kegals, then what happens is called vaginal atrophy. Essentially the muscles become unresponsive and hence can remain "tight" despite any attempts to arouse or easing into anything. This can cause pain since the muscles basically refuse to accommodate to anything, it takes time to allow for the muscles in that case to ease and relax.
    There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

    Comment


    • An aroused woman can have a tight vagina. In my case it was with a girl who was almost a virgin. She was very tight and it took me about 15 minutes to finally enter her. I could not last for long, but after I ejaculated, I could not get out of her because she was so tight and I had too much blood that wouldn't drain. And she wanted more and more which was excruciating for me as I was super sensitive after orgasm. I accommodated her as much as I could stand. She was breathing hard and using her hands on my back to initiate a rhythm of thrusts. It took me about 15 minutes of little activity after that to finally be able to withdraw. Think Chinese Finger Puzzle.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment


      • Originally posted by jns View Post
        An aroused woman can have a tight vagina. In my case it was with a girl who was almost a virgin. She was very tight and it took me about 15 minutes to finally enter her. I could not last for long, but after I ejaculated, I could not get out of her because she was so tight and I had too much blood that wouldn't drain. And she wanted more and more which was excruciating for me as I was super sensitive after orgasm. I accommodated her as much as I could stand. She was breathing hard and using her hands on my back to initiate a rhythm of thrusts. It took me about 15 minutes of little activity after that to finally be able to withdraw. Think Chinese Finger Puzzle.
        I've never experienced anything like that, as I mentioned I've very limited experience with inexperienced girls. The virgin I mentioned would have been impossible to penetrate since my finger was difficult to insert into her.

        Do you think the lack of experience was directly related to her being that tight?
        "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

        Comment


        • Originally posted by ItsASecret View Post
          The very simple and to the point explanation is the vagina acts as an elastic band. It will accommodate to the object in there but it is not instant, it does take some getting used to on the part of the muscles.

          Actual vagina size varies somewhat between women but in reality it is only a few inches in length and the rest of the accommodating is done by the muscles relaxing and allowing something to be in there without tearing to occur. Again not an instant thing. The more relaxed the muscles the more tension can be placed on it without it immediately tearing. Once not in use the vagina goes back to a natural resting state and the muscles will once again be tighter, having a lot of sex with a lot of men makes no difference since the muscles do rebound back to a natural state that her particular body is used to. However a woman's vagina can be more "loose" for a longer period of time if she is constantly having sex with minimal breaks...in that case there is no real time to have the muscles rest as they are always in use. Having a baby though can tear muscles and hence the elasticity can be somewhat lost and as a result less "tight" feeling.

          When the vaginal muscles do not accommodate or are not used enough, such as no sex or no practicing of kegals, then what happens is called vaginal atrophy. Essentially the muscles become unresponsive and hence can remain "tight" despite any attempts to arouse or easing into anything. This can cause pain since the muscles basically refuse to accommodate to anything, it takes time to allow for the muscles in that case to ease and relax.
          That clears a lot up for me, thanks, boys don't get taught anything like this in school.

          Re the last paragraph; does this mean that a girl who doesn't start having sex until she's say, in her thirties (and hasn't inserted penis shaped objects into herself to masturbate) could experience more complications relating to tightness of the muscles when she starts having sex? Basically physiological problems? I didn't know any of this, they do say every day is a school day...
          "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

          Comment


          • That clears a lot up for me, thanks, boys don't get taught anything like this in school.
            Yeah. School is not meant to teach "couples sex" in regards to foreplay and loving or any possible sex complications that can occur during the act so any mention of vaginal elasticity is purely for anatomic reasons...in school that just means how it relates to child birth. Sex ed classes are there to show a child anatomy, some basic physiology, and that diseases exist far more than one would think. Everything else is up to the kid to eventually learn on their own if they even choose to try and learn it.

            Re the last paragraph; does this mean that a girl who doesn't start having sex until she's say, in her thirties (and hasn't inserted penis shaped objects into herself to masturbate) could experience more complications relating to tightness of the muscles when she starts having sex? Basically physiological problems? I didn't know any of this, they do say every day is a school day...
            Not necessarily. Atrophy is an actual medical condition so does not happen to all women nor does it have to happen to such a degree that nothing can occur penetration wise. I should have stated in my response before that it can be a reason for a woman not having sex and not that it does happen if muscles are not used...that is what I was trying to say before but reading it again now I realize that is not how it came out my apologies. A woman in her thirties though could have atrophy and not even know, or tried to do things sexually with a toy maybe but noticed there was too much pain and never tried again. In that case it would make sex much more difficult and possibly could develop vaginismus at the same time. A woman can also develop into the condition even if they had no issues before.

            The condition itself comes with a list of other symptoms like dryness, thinning of the vaginal walls, and inflammation. Vaginal atrophy means the muscles actually shrink, and hence more tight, which is why sex can be so painful. It is most correlated to lack of estrogen so menopause or perimenopause is the most likely time for it to occur on a physiological basis but for women who maybe have no sex drive and therefore avoid sex for many years their vaginal may have changed to a point of inflammation, thinning walls, and too much tightness to the point that nothing can be pushed in. There are also unknown causes to it so a woman could be affected by estrogen levels and not even know about it or it could be something completely different and unable to pinpoint.
            There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

            Comment


            • So vaginismus and atrophy are both medical conditions, my understanding was vaginismus is a psychological problem with physiological effects,is that correct? A you say a women with (an unknown, existing case of) atrophy attempting to masturbate could develop vaginismus, would this be because her brain is sending signals to her body (in the case the muscles of the vagina) to not allow anything in to prevent the cause of pain?

              And atrophy is purely physiological?

              Thanks
              "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

              Comment


              • my understanding was vaginismus is a psychological problem with physiological effects,is that correct?
                It is a medical condition and in some cases yes there is psychological parts but it is not the absolute cause. For some women there is a very high psychological component, maybe they were raped or their first time was so painful that it scarred them psychologically and hence any touch down there leads to the clamping up by the muscles. For other women though there may be no psychological starter such as abuse or pain and their body just naturally decided to react in that manner. There are plenty of women around who cannot even insert a tampon because their muscles just say no, gynecologists cannot perform the routine pap smear on some women because their muscles are so tightened just due to that reflex their body has developed, they could have zero experience with sex but their body has developed the condition without any psychological conditioning. Women with the condition could also be completely aroused and dripping wet but their muscles still react and tighten up. It is really not an easy condition to be working with.

                A you say a women with (an unknown, existing case of) atrophy attempting to masturbate could develop vaginismus, would this be because her brain is sending signals to her body (in the case the muscles of the vagina) to not allow anything in to prevent the cause of pain?
                Yes. A learned association. A woman who may have atrophy could develop vaginismus because of the association to pain. If she is in a lot of pain anytime something touches her down there then the signals to the brain are saying "touch=pain so clamp up when you feel a touch".

                As far as the medical community has figured out atrophy is most due to the estrogen decrease so yes one could say it is physiological...which of course a woman may be unaware she has. A woman in that case may think she has some degree of vaginismus when really it could be the vaginal atrophy. If a woman is afflicted by a condition and has no idea about it she in turn could then think she has a too small of a vagina and a man may think she is just too tight and hence causing her the pain when really her vagina is of normal size but suffering from said condition(s) instead.
                There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

                Comment


                • When you say Estrogen decrease could that mean from the menopause or could it be a consequence of any hormonal imbalance which results in low E2? In turn, could estrogen based birth control pills reverse this, or be masking an existing problem?
                  "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

                  Comment


                  • When you say Estrogen decrease could that mean from the menopause or could it be a consequence of any hormonal imbalance which results in low E2? In turn, could estrogen based birth control pills reverse this, or be masking an existing problem?
                    Menopause most definitely would be main culprit but hormonal imbalances to the point of such a decrease could cause it as well. Breastfeeding lowers estrogen so that could cause atrophy, taking anti-estrogen medications can, stress can reduce estrogen, radiation, chemo treatments...the list can be long. Having low estrogen does not mean a woman will definitely develop atrophy though so it is really up to the patient and the doctor to come up with a diagnosis and go from there. The main treatments for atrophy are estrogen creams or HRT. HRT though is complicated by the side effects and risk of stroke or cancers especially if there is a family history of breast cancer. Birth control is not normally used as treatment because a direct topical approach with a prescription cream is typically the way to treat it. Once applied to the vagina for awhile the symptoms tend to dissipate nicely. But it can be a different situation for each woman.
                    There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

                    Comment

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