[iamuncreative]

My girlfriend and I are a rather unique case for people our age. We have open communication about sex, our relationship, our opinions. If we wanna talk about something, we can, very easily. We've been dating for 6 months now, and I have had one relationship before this. I have tried oral, fingers, G-spot, clitoris, both. But she can't orgasm.

She's on anti-depressants and birth control, both of which I know lower sex drive, so that's my first question, is that affecting her ability to orgasm?

Second, am I doing anything wrong? I listen to her every request, I make sure she's comfortable, i really want her to feel good. I have gone down on her for 45 minutes, using my fingers to stimulate her G-spot. But to no resolve. Granted I am only 17 and I feel this may affect it. But my previous partner and I never had this much trouble.

I am just starting to get frustrated because it feels like I am having all the fun in our sex life. I'd really like some input, because I know she'd really appreciate it and I wanna do my best for her. Thanks

[DreamP346]

First question: has she ever had an orgasm, either by herself or with a previous partner. If not, thats the first thing she needs to learn how to do. Masturbation is a great way to explore and learn about your own body. Its going to be difficulty to orgasm with somebody when you don't even understand how your own body works.

Second question: Is she enjoying what you guys are doing together? If so, don't get so hung up on the orgasm. There is so much more to sex (especially for women) than an orgasm.

Third question: Is this your partner's first time having sex with somebody? If so, learning to orgasm can be a long process that may take time. Don't rush it. Putting pressure on her will only have the opposite effect.

Also remember, don't compare her to your previous partner. Each person is different and what worked on your previous gf may not work on your current partner. There is nothing wrong with reading up on technique and trying new things.

[iamuncreative]

She's said she's tried masturbating and she's had no luck with orgasms. I am not sure about previous partners, but it's something i'd just like to avoid knowing. Judging from what she's told me though, the answer would be "no"

We have great sex, she's very pleased with herself, our sex and me. She's not shy about talking about our previous night of sex, actually she enjoys talking about it with me. She tells me not to worry about orgasms but I am a bit thick skulled and kinda ignore that. I was unaware that orgasm weren't the pinnacle of sex for women, this is news to me :P but that's something I know now for the future.

Yes, I am her first fully sexual partner. I never put pressure on her to orgasm, I always try to make her comfortable and relaxed when she's with me. Both of our parents are very liberal when it comes to sex and allow us to have sleep overs whenever we please. We never have to sneak the fact we're having sex, so there is not stress in that area. We always have either of our beds to our use, so the setting is comfortable and familiar. I am aware the pressure is bad, as one of my previous partners did the same to me and I hated it. I never ask her to orgasm for me, or tell her "I want you to cum" I just do my best to pleasure her.

[Amandolyn]

Ok first of all, something that I kind of thought I was alone on until I read some stuff on here, sex can be good without ever reaching orgasm (for women anyway). I'll be honest, I even get frustrated with myself when my fiance attempts to make me climax sometimes. First I think "Wtf? I'm 21 years old, I shouldn't have this much of a problem getting off!" then I'm like "Well I'm noticing this, he must be noticing it too... I don't want him to think he's doing anything wrong but I also don't want him to keep trying and trying with no prevail". Those thoughts themselves throuw off the whole endeavor. With women, thoughts and concentration are key to orgasm... if her mind is wandering it will be hard for her to climax; a wandering mind is hard to control sometimes. You said she's on birth control and anti-depressants? I'm willing to bet these are major factors affecting her sex drive as well. I don't know what to advise on that part except to quit taking them or try different kinds. But don't make her feel like you're getting annoyed or frustrated because this will put even more pressure on her to try to reach orgasm and trying too hard makes it almost impossible. Just give it time, try different things, and always make her feel sexy. You say you're only 17, well that in itself could be a contributing factor; not that you're inexperienced per se but I assume if you're that age she is somewhere in that range too and it takes some girls a little while to get "in touch" with themselves if you know what I mean. If you are as open with each other as you say then there shouldn't be a problem; you can always talk through it if nothing else.