[mab_426]

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Ladies,

I used to love having sex a few years ago. I couldn't get enough. I would laugh when my girls would say, I can't do it, he's too big. I would be like, "there's no such thing". Well, I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years (in November). The first time we did it, I felt torn so I didnt do it for a while. We used to have to use petroleum jelly or some sort of lubrication. But for the first couple months we would do it multiple times a day (except when I was torn and had to wait to heal).

I thought maybe it was because I always dealt with inflammation alot and it does affect down there too. But lately, I havent wanted to be intimate with him (part of it is from my depression/anxiety) but I missed my period for three months and it came back, they tested me and no I'm not pregnant. But the few times we did do it, I always felt major, painful cramps and like he went into my stomach. Not only have I been getting major abdominal/cramps below (in my pelvis/vaginal area) but I have been getting torn when he enters.

The pain has not been worth wanting to do it. He really feels like he's being neglected. Our intimacy has gone out the window! Please help, I want him satisfied too....

[balanced]

Hi, just coming in to wave
Can't offer much advise on the other stuff, hope someone can. Maybe a Gyno? Missed periods sounds like me but we discussed that in my thread so i wont repeat myself.
Only other suggestion is foreplay, oral

[DreamP346]

Lack of desire can be linked to your depression and also sexual pain. Are you trying to do anything to manage your depression? You need to sit down and have a calm and adult conversation with your partner. How can he be unset at you if the sexual act is causing you pain and physical harm. You need to discuss both your needs and desires and what compromises you can make.

Some thing you could do is not have him trust too deep to cause you pain. Also inconsider non penetrative sex like oral, masturbation. You can also try toys, role playing, etc. You really need to spend lots of time with foreplay to make sure you are completely relaxed and ready. Try having an orgasm before he enters because that is the time you will be completely relaxed.

I recommend you see your doctor too if you are feeling pain you didn't have before. You may have an infection.

[mab_426]

Thanks for listening. I have been told that it is linked with my depression. I always go to the doctor and know when I have an infection, I dont have one (it would hurt even when we didn't have sex). Its more that I get a nauseous feeling after and usually lasts a while. He does perform oral sex on me prior to sex. Yes, I just started taking my depression/anxiety medication again. Hopefully my energy, being happy and bubbly again will come back in time. I have had a conversation with him. He is very understanding, he doesn't complain but he will make comments about us not being intimate. I honestly miss it too but the last time we didnt even get to sex because I just couldn't relax enough to have an orgasm and thats never happened before. I felt so guilty...my anxiety/depression is at its worse. I seldomly go to therapy, I try to go about 2 days out the month, more if possible. But I honestly do not like giving oral sex but he does so I usually make up for it during the sex part. But lately I havent wanted to do anything, not even really kiss. I feel bad but hate feeling so guilty that Ill do it because I think more about him. How can I stop feeling so guilty that I can't prove what I should as his partner? He is not the type to cheat, so I'm very lucky. But last night I did talk to him and told him to be patient and wait for me to find the right medication that will help me with everything...Hopefully this gets easier and that I really stop being so hard on myself for everyhing (its just something that I usually do).

Lack of desire can be linked to your depression and also sexual pain. Are you trying to do anything to manage your depression? You need to sit down and have a calm and adult conversation with your partner. How can he be unset at you if the sexual act is causing you pain and physical harm. You need to discuss both your needs and desires and what compromises you can make.

Some thing you could do is not have him trust too deep to cause you pain. Also inconsider non penetrative sex like oral, masturbation. You can also try toys, role playing, etc. You really need to spend lots of time with foreplay to make sure you are completely relaxed and ready. Try having an orgasm before he enters because that is the time you will be completely relaxed.

I recommend you see your doctor too if you are feeling pain you didn't have before. You may have an infection.