[soccerlady]

OK the truth is that my first time having sex wasn't really how I would have wanted it to happen. In addition, I've been through some sexual abuse when I was young girl.

I am a straight female, who is attracted to males. I love everything that has to do with sex, that's not the problem. My problem is I get so nervous and I can't let go. I just can't relax to enjoy sex.. I can't be myself and I can't really do the things I want to do because I am so nervous.. Does this make sense to any other women?? I'd appreciate any ideas and advice...

[luve]

does your partner know of this? If you talked about it with him it might make you less nervous. talking things through might build a stronger bond so you could finally let go of the horrible things you've been through. It would feel totally better if he comforts you and eases you into sex. Passionate sex is the best. You never want to have sex which you are worried or not relaxed. What's is in the past is in the past, it can't hurt you anymore unless you make it. C:

[Element]

As luve said, talking things through with your significant other is the best route. I've found that talking about things we'd like to try, or are curious about; lets me feel like I have a handle on what's going to happen. I know what I'm suppose to do, what he's going to do and what's going to happen. Also, just taking things slow is always nice. Go the high school route; kissing, light touching, then proceed as natural. Let it be passionate, entice one another. With a woman it's all about relaxing and letting go. So taking the time for your body and mind to "get there" might be better for you. It won't all happen in one night, but it's a place to start.

[Ethel eden]

Very nice post soccerlady,i equally get nervous too,as much as i'd like to go along with luve's advice,but i actually dnt want to put my fiancee on the edge whenever its time to hv sex.

[soccerlady]

As luve said, talking things through with your significant other is the best route. I've found that talking about things we'd like to try, or are curious about; lets me feel like I have a handle on what's going to happen. I know what I'm suppose to do, what he's going to do and what's going to happen. Also, just taking things slow is always nice. Go the high school route; kissing, light touching, then proceed as natural. Let it be passionate, entice one another. With a woman it's all about relaxing and letting go. So taking the time for your body and mind to "get there" might be better for you. It won't all happen in one night, but it's a place to start.

Thanks!!