[Xylogeist]

Hello.
I'm not actually a woman, but rather a concerned partner. I've been with this girl for about half a year now, on a long-distance internet relationship. I travel a lot, so we get to see each-other every couple of months. I just turned 18 in May, she turned 16 that same month. In her state (GA) 16 is the age of consent, so we do have consensual sex when we meet. The first time we had sex was July 8th, so less than 2 weeks ago. We've attempted sex on 5 different occasions, all of which I either was unable to perform penetration, or succeeded rather painfully for her.

We're both each-others first partner, but I'm fairly familiar with sex, so I know I'm supposed to take it easy, to stimulate her so she's well-lubricated, and to try and make it relax with foreplay before ever trying penetration. On all 5 occasions we had between 10 and 40 minutes of foreplay prior to penetration, mostly me rubbing her and trying to gently push in my fingers, as well as massaging her body. She was clearly turned on and prepared for intercourse by the time we tried penetration, on all 5 accounts.

Now here's where I need help... the first time, she entered me using gravity, gently easing it inside while lowering herself onto my thighs. I managed to enter her fairly deeply, but it hurt her a LOT. She couldn't keep it in for more than a second. We tried this 3 times and finally stopped, because I wanted her to feel safe, not in pain. The next night we tried again, same problem, same position. The next night I tried entering her missionary, same problem, couldn't get it inside nearly as far without her feeling a lot of pain. The next night we tried the same, with gravity again, she got it in very deep once but it hurt so much we had to give up after only 2 tries. The 5th and final time, she was so sore from trying 4 days in a row, that I couldn't get my fingers inside.

She was really wet and highly naturally lubricated. I had a condom on the first two times, having it off didn't seem to make much of a difference pain or lubrication wise. Part of the issue is that I am about 7 inches long and maybe 2 and a half in diameter (roughly), I'm a big man at about 6' 3", and she's incredibly short at only 5' 1". She's really really tight... but she doesn't describe it as a sharp pain. She says getting it inside fast isn't the problem, its just that once it enters there is a sustained burning dull pain that is really hard to cope with.

Any suggestions? I'm seeing her again in August, we're going to try lubrication along with using a vibrator about my size in order to try and help her relax a bit during foreplay. After reading a lot I've been told that she needs to relax the muscles in her vagina, is that true? We're also considering shower sex, as I hear the hot water can help relax her muscles. Any advice would be appreciated, apart from "she's 16, wait till she's older", I have a lot of friends who begun sex at that age or even younger...

Thanks a bunch!

[DreamP346]

It can take a while for some women before it stops hurting. Just take it slow and always be prepared to stop if it hurts. Also, try getting her off before you penetrate with either oral sex or a vibrator. After an orgasm, a woman's muscles are much more relaxed.

[Xylogeist]

Thanks for the advice, I'll try getting her off first and see if that makes any progress. Although, I was a bit concerned about the nature of her pain. When its too tight, most people describe it as a quick sharp pain upon penetration, but she has not much pain when getting it in, she just feels a lot of dull pain when it stays inside. She has the same problem when putting fingers inside. Is that normal? Thanks again.

[DreamP346]

Are you staying she feels pain even when fingers are inside? How many fingers cause her pain?

[Xylogeist]

Are you staying she feels pain even when fingers are inside? How many fingers cause her pain?

Well, her fingers are smaller than mine. She can finger herself with one of hers, and be comfortable, and if she's worked herself up for it, she can do two. Three is painful. For me, one finger is painful at first, but not after awhile. We haven't gotten to two of mine yet, which is a little smaller than the diameter of my manhood. The pain she feels isn't a sharp stretching, its a sustained dull pain while something is inside.