[ba0110]

Hello all. I'm worried that my problem with getting pleasure out of sex comes from the fact that I always masterbate on my stomach. When I do this, I tense my lower half, which tenses the muscles around my vagina, making it a lot easier to have orgasms.

I started having sex about six months ago, but can hardly ever get pleasure when my partner stimulates me. I tried pleasuring myself on my back to try to figure out what would work, and realized that the muscles needed to cum wouldn't tense up on their own... It only works when I lie straight and can deliberately tense them (a position not so common during sex).

I'm wondering, for woman who masterbate on their backs or come during sex, can you do so without tensing up?

Any advice on how to fix the problem? It's caused a lot of frustration.

Thanks!

[Little]

You should google a site called Healthy Strokes - it explains in detail why prone masturbation isn't a good way to set yourself up for enjoyable sex. A lot of the material is for men, but there's info for women too.
I used to masturbate prone, but I changed it up in my late teens. I still tense up my ab and pelvic muscles during sex - it may be that yours are a little weak from being accustomed to a less-strenuous position. I like to have my legs out straight for clitoral orgasms, but I'm more flexible with vaginal orgasms.

[Nholland]

I tend to do that also but try to focus on just tensing my pc muscles instead cuz its more intense n feels better. Just start trying to tense ur vaginal muscles more n leg muscles less, w practice itll become easiet n make ur vaginal muscles stronger

[shoshannah]

I think tensing up is normal during sex. I always _consciously_ clench my vaginal muscles because it's very hard or impossible for me to orgasm unless I do (plus it is very exciting for my boyfriend to feel my vagina squeezing him). But the rest of me tenses up as well, especially my legs. In missionary I instinctively try to straighten them out when I'm about to climax, which sometimes makes it hard for my boyfriend to stay inside me. One thing i do it to try to put my legs in positions where they won't interfere, such as wrapping them around his waist.