[shinton09]

I think i'm addicted to sex and it's ruining my relationship! Any advice would be appreciated; This is my story..
My boyfriend and i have been together since we were 15, we are both now 23 and living together. We started having sex at the age of 17 and at a young age, our sex drive was equal; he loved it just as much as me! Now we're older and according to him, "He's not like every other guy and he can go without sex weeks at a time" And me, well i need it every day! If i could get it every day i would be happy, if i have to wait longer than a week, i'm upset! We fight every day over this topic and i'm so close to leaving him because i feel like he can't handle me anymore. It's the number one thing that is constantly on my mind. I would never cheat on him to get laid, but it's literally tearing our relationship apart because he is sick of me being upset about it and it being the only thing i talk about at night. When it does happen, I am ALWAYS the one to initiate it!
When i was 4, i was raped; at the age of 6, i was sexually assaulted; at the age of 13, i was sexually assaulted again; at the age of 19, i was raped from someone putting "the date rape drug" in my drink.. I started seeing a therapist at the age of 8 because i was so messed up in the head. According to my therapist, when people are introduced to sex at a very young age, as they grow older, they either HATE it or they absolutely LOVE it and it's all they think about.. I don't know if this is the reason but i definitely need advice! I need to know if i have a problem or if i have a boyfriend who just hates sex with me or hates it period..
Please help!

[JonDoe]

Fighting over sex causes some people to want it less, especially if he feels you are nagging him about it everday. My wife was like your boyfriend for many years, and the less sex I got the more I seemed to think about it. If left unchecked, it can become quite controlling.

Long term relationships require compromise. Have you both tried to compromise and have sex 3 times a week, say every other day? Would you be OK with that? How would it make him feel? Have you talked openly about or does it immediately turn into a fight when he is not in the mood?

[DreamP346]

I don't think you are addicted to sex. You have a healthy sex drive. There are many people who have sex every day and other who have sex once a month. The issue is that you and your boyfriend have different drives and that is causing conflict. You need to discuss, not fight, with your partner about this. Come to a compromise. As JonDoe states, nagging probably turns him off on it, and you not getting enough only makes you obsess about it.

Also, can you get satisfaction from masturbation? Come to a compromise on how often you have sex. Then you can masturbate in between those times to calm the sexual frustration. Just be careful not to let the masturbation be a complete substitute for sex with your partner.

[shinton09]

Fighting over sex causes some people to want it less, especially if he feels you are nagging him about it everday. My wife was like your boyfriend for many years, and the less sex I got the more I seemed to think about it. If left unchecked, it can become quite controlling.

Long term relationships require compromise. Have you both tried to compromise and have sex 3 times a week, say every other day? Would you be OK with that? How would it make him feel? Have you talked openly about or does it immediately turn into a fight when he is not in the mood?

I don't mean to nag him.. and yes, i have tried the whole compromise thing but he always backs off and says that he's tired or he's not in the mood; but then i try to get him in the mood and that just upsets him even more! I've tried everything i know. I'm to the point that i feel like i need to just leave him because i'm causing him and myself pain..

[jns]

shinton, I wonder if he will get to a point in his life where he will not have sex for a year or more. I also wonder if he is not initiating because sex is not exciting as it once was and he would prefer to initiate when he is interested.

This is mostly about mismatched sex drives. It is also about lack of communications leading to a lack of a compromise. A compromise is not about promising something then altering the terms when it comes to fulfilling the obligations. I think you are going in the right direction unless he can truly compromise.