[MaryMoe71]

Hello ladies,

I don't even know where to begin. I am so fustrated with this.. I am 41. Hubby is 45. My hubby would be able to ejaculate on occasion early in our marriage but for the past year, we would have sex and he doesn't ejaculate. Makes me feel like I am doing something wrong or if he doesn't enjoy it anymore. I spoke to him and he tells me that it still feels great but it just happens sometimes.. Nothing that he can control. Once he told me that maybe he isn't as sensative anymore because of his age! I don't show him how fustrated I am because I don't want him to feel pressure about it but it's driving me crazy and I wanted to rant and rave to someone!!

Is this unusual? There are some unusual things that I have experienced with him.. Like, he feels he needs to concentrate when making love for my pleasure.. Like, when I'm on top of him in position, he lays there like hes sleeping.. But he says thats the way he concentrates.. I just don't know anymore. Any advice would be great!!

[JonDoe]

There could be physical or psychological causes.

According to Wikipdia...

"Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation might include numerous factors that prevent a man from achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse. Among those factors are insufficient sleep, distraction due to worry, distraction from the environment, anxiety about pleasing his partner and anxiety about relationship problems."

"One of the main causes of delayed ejaculation is adaptation to a certain masturbatory technique. The sensations a man feels when masturbating may bear little resemblance to the sensations he experiences during intercourse. Factors such as pressure, angle and grip during masturbation can make for an experience so different from sex with a partner that the ability to ejaculate is reduced or eliminated."

Other contributing factors include anti-depression medications, diabetes, high blood pressure, prostrate issues, or alcohol consumption.

If the problem persists, seek medical advice.

[JanieMarie]

I agree with JonDoe. If I had to guess I would say that he's masturbating to porn while you're not there. Not only does that use up his already diminishing sex drive, it can also desentitise the penis (when done in excess). Like JonDoe mentioned, he may get used to orgasming a certain way through masturbation and lose the ability to reach the same levels of climax through normal sex.

If it were me I would have a frank talk with him and ask him if he has been doing it. Don't get angry, judgmental or accusatory with him because that will just drive him underground. Tell him you don't have a problem with it as long as he doesn't do it for 3-4 days before you two are going to have sex. If he finds that he is unable to abstain for that long then he may have an addiction. If that's the case then a ******* may be a good tool to help him get back under control.

[LilahX]

In the 10 years I've been with my guy I'd say he's ejaculated during sex maybe not even a dozen times. He's on medication which I think has a whole lot to do with it. He doesn't even always get there with masturbation. Yes, I find it frustrasting b/c I love hearing/watching him orgasm and naturally I want him to have the awesome feelings that go with it - but he still feels intense pleasure in everything else we do. It's not something we've been able to 'fix' so it's just way it is and we make the best of it.