[curioussteel]

I practically just registered an hour ago and read some of the threads before writing my own, I just wanted to check if there was already a thread with the same topic as what I'm having problems with but after page 3, I got impatient and so, viola!

I'm a healthy 20 year old woman and I think I need help.

I have been with only two men in my life, my ex and my current. My ex and I had a 3 year relationship. He was my first and vice versa but in those 3 years, never have I experienced orgasm with him. Don't get me wrong, I have experienced it but ONLY when I'm masturbating. All through the years of our relationship, I faked it. I didn't want to hurt his feelings especially when we're both inexperienced and I thought that it would get better but unfortunately, it ended without me having any orgasm at all.

My current boyfriend right now is older and much more experienced than me. But still, after a year with him, no orgasms have come my way. I think I've come close a couple of times but it just wouldn't happen. I get turned on fast (cause of my age, I think) but it would never reach to orgasm. It feels good and I like it but still not enough. I tried rubbing my cl**t and tried different positions. But still, none. I love him and I desperately want to experience that moment with him. I don't wish to just have an orgasm for the physical part of it but I want that emotional connection too.

I give him hints and sometimes I'm direct but I don't want to DICTATE to him what will make me go off especially when I'm not sure myself what will. When I masturbate, I don't have any problems and I thought of telling him the stuff I do when I do it myself but I always hold back cause what if it doesn't work and it ends up being an awkward situation? I'm easily embarrassed and stuff. I don't even let him give me oral. I feel really self conscious and he knows that and encourages me every time that it doesn't matter about the smell or whatever silly stuff I'm worrying about but I still don't want him to. I don't know what's wrong with me cause when I masturbate, I imagine him going down on me but when it comes to the real thing I back out. But the odd thing is, I really really like pleasuring my man. It turns me on so much but why can't I feel it when he does it to me? My embarrassment takes over me and I feel numb. Sometimes I think I prioritize my man's pleasure over mine too much to the point where I don't even want him to experience any discomfort. And sometimes I wish I can just be a submissive or whatever so maybe I can overcome my shyness when my dominant is giving me orders.

I know I have a lot of problems but as I said, I need help and I know I'm still young. But I just want to know. Thanks in advance and for reading!

[Nholland]

I was the same way at 20, unfirtunately i dont have an easy fix solution, it just came w ith time. I could orgasm easily thru masturbation and eventually fr my ex rubbing my clitoris but not ever during sex.Then one day w my current bf when i was 25 i randomly had a gspot orgasm that included me squirting. Now it happens all the time and i know exactly what to do to get there. But its very common and many women dont orgasm till they are in there 30s when they hit their sexual peak and some can never orgasm fr penetration alone. Just keep trying and enjoy the trial and error until u get there. Experimenation and communication are key. Also maybe avoid masturbation if it could possibly be making u a little less sensitive or be hurting ur sex drive.

[PinkySweet]

Theres 2 kinds of orgasms vaginal and clitoral.

Ive only experienced a vaginal orgasm once(I'm also 20), that was with my now husband. That was from the "Spooning" or from the side position. Every time we do it that way I get pretty close but only once have I experienced it. Although, I have experience many many many many many clitoral orgasms from oral or hands, so my husband usually stops between sex and give me oral for a few minutes and then goes back to the sex, then back to oral and it builds up so nicely lol and finally when hes getting close he'll stop and go back to oral let me have my moment lol and then he'll go back to sexing me and finish.

So even though I don't experience vaginal orgasms, he makes it great for me ... Even though he doesn't do it every time lol

[Hugo-B]

Just to clarify, have you been 'faking it' with the new guy?

From a man's perspective I think most men would prefer that you did communicate to him what he did needs to do in order to please you, because it is very important to a man to be able to satisfy his partner sexually, so please do be forthcoming when communicating your needs, whilst being tactful of course. Most men would be very pleased with themselves for helping a woman to achieve her first orgasm through intercourse; this doesn't have to be the two of you performing under pressure, view this a kind of game and a way to enrich your sex lives.

Try having a nice warm bath before sex, this will relax you, and also leave you feeling squeaky clean and less self conscious. If there are certain parts of your body which you are particularly self conscious about try finding an outfit or some underwear or whatever which will cover them. This should benefit both of you since men love visual stimulation :-)

Finally, just be honest and tell your partner the truth about the situation, whilst being tactful of course and letting him know it's not anything he's doing wrong, hopefully he'll understand.