[candd]

My husband and I have been having sexual intercourse with sex toys. Sex was great just as it was but he wanted to try out different things to please me. At first it was painfull and hard for me at times. He taught me how to relax and get into it and enjoy it which then would turn him on like crazy. I would let him know that his penis was all I really needed because it was. But he is my husband and I let him do as he pleases with me. Months went by and now for the past week and a half he no longer wants to use sex toys yet he's expecting to feel me the same when we haven't had normal sex in a real long time. He says that one week with out sex is more than enough for my vagina to go back to normal size but I know its not because it no longer looks the same. Its causing us a lot of problems because he says he doesn't feel me. What do I do?

[Hugo-B]

Tell him to get a bigger penis? Or a bigger penis, and a bigger brain? He's being very cruel and unreasonable by having insisted on 'stretching' you, then in the next breath telling you you're too loose now he feels like reverting back to regular sex. What else did he expect? This is more about him feeling insecure since he's feeling 'small', I hope you realize that?

He shouldn't be criticizing you for changes to your body which his behavior has effected. If it weren't for your accommodating attitude towards satisfying him he wouldn't have even been able to use these toys on you and nothing would have changed.

Tell him he from now on he cannot penetrate you with anything big, so only his penis can go near you, that will be the first step in getting back to normal.

Do those kegal exercises and just wait for the muscles to begin to tighten. Certain positions like spooning with your legs closed will make you feel, 'tighter'.
The girls will be able to offer you better advice, don't worry, you'll be fine x

[DreamP346]

Does your husband have a vagina? Is he a gynecologist or a sex expert? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then how does he know that 1 week is enough to go back to normal.

You can do your kegals to tighten your muscles, but your husband needs to change his attitude. You didn't stretch overnight and you aren't going to go back overnight either.

[sexualunicorn]

Yeah, your husband is not being cool AT ALL. If you're really worried about it, I would use some benwa balls, but if he was the one to coax you into using large sex toys, then he needs to get over himself. You are a person, not a fleshlight. And one week is really going to depend on the person. I'm sorry that he's putting you through that. It's not fair, and you deserve better.

[NubbinsUp]

I'm sorry he did this (made you change) and then complained that you'd changed. People do this to each other commonly outside the bedroom. They say, "I need you to be more [pick your adjective or action], and when this doesn't make them happy, they say, "I don't like this, and you have to fix it."

Bottom line, he doesn't know what he really wants. Thinking he did, and being mistaken ended up doing harm that he has to repair. Make him wait a month for sex, and touch yourself in private in the meantime for your release. If he doesn't come around in that month to understand his own mistake and the consequences, he's just stubborn and unreasonable. If the stimulation and pleasurable sensation of penetrative sex is lacking for you after all this, maybe you'll have to insist that the toys, or at least your personal favorite, come back. One thing is certain. His penis isn't going to grow. Mine never has, and I've been wishing and including it in my annual letter to Santa Claus every Christmas for years.