[WannaBee]

Does anyone have a good idea how I could get my g/f to like it from behind (more)?

We have been together for a few years and so far and whenever we had sex doggy style or in the spooning position (sideways or on top) it was a major turn on for me. I can climax in these positions in no time.
For her it is the exact opposite!
We recently had a conversation or two about that; here is what she said:

''I don't like it being taken from behind. I can't see your face and I can't kiss you. I do not have any control of angle and depth of penetration. I almost feel like a piece of meat.''

First of all, let me say that I am a very caring person, I could never possibly treat my beloved as a piece of meat. We both, always, make sure that the other is comfortable with what we are doing at any time.
So I suggested putting up a mirror in the bedroom, so that she could me behind her. We normally don't turn our bedroom into a lightproof bunker, so she would be able to see me. However, this idea was a non-starter.
It is true, that the receiving partner has relatively little control over angle and depth of penetration. But same is true for the missionary position, which we both enjoy very much.
Other position she likes are her sitting or lying on top facing me and scissors.


I know that sex is not only about humping; what you do with the rest of your body matters a great deal, so does conversation.
Stroking her body, clitoral stimulation and spanking seem to do nothing to her in these positions.
Anal stimulation is an absolute no no in these positions.

From time to time we do have sex from behind, but I always feel that she consents to please me and not for her own enjoyment. I would really like this to change!

I am well aware that everyone is different, a few good ideas would be very welcome indeed.

[jns]

You consent to have most intercourse with positions that allow her to see your face and possibly kiss. Sometimes she consents to positions that you find more exciting. I see nothing there that doesn't suggest proper compromise. Since doggy style and spooning don't allow for her to see your face and for you two to kiss as easily, I'm not sure if more can be done to help the situation.

Her feeling like a piece of meat is something she has to work on as the positions themselves do not suggest that at all. That feeling may be an outgrowth of feeling vulnerable.

Maybe talking to her and telling her how lovely she is while doing them will help comfort her. You can also kiss and nibble her ears and neck.

I personally love the feeling of skin contact in spooning and the visual sight of a woman's shoulders, waist and buttocks in doggy style, so I can understand you being turned on by those positions.

[Element]

My boyfriend always reaches around to my breasts while in the doggy style position. You can also run your hands on her back, down her hips to her pelvic bone and to her thighs, her rear. Kiss on her shoulders.

She also can work her hips back against you. Try you standing still and her working herself against you. I like doing this as I'm working to get mine, in a way.

She may just be thinking of the vanilla view of doggy style; taking it like a b-you know what. So changing how she views and feels about it won't happen over night. You can always explain to her how you like the view of her, feeling her skin in a different manner, watching her entire body as you are with her.

[Euphoric]

Just a thought. You state that you can climax in this position in no time. Maybe that's part of her problem with it. She needs more time to get there, or perhaps in her mind, because you get there quickly like this, she feels that it's all about you. Not saying that is the case, but maybe she feels that way.
Doggy style is probably one of my hubby's favorites, and yes, he can get there quick. That being said, he makes sure I'm taken care of first, or we start out with me on top and switch to doggy style. Sometimes he gets a little...not rough, but kinda more aggressive, if you will. That's not a problem for me because I like it deep and heated at times. Perhaps trying to switch it up mid stream will help. Elements suggestion about having her work herself against you may help her feel like she is a partner. Kudos to you for searching for a way to make her feel activitly engaged in the moment rather than a piece of meat. Good Luck.

[poeticinjustices]

Talk to her when you're taking her from behind. I too have trouble with this position with my boyfriend. Thankfully it's not his first choice and I still do it when he wants it but the very name alone makes me feel insecure and degraded. You guys sound like romantics and if that's true then tell her romantic things when you're doing it from behind. Don't go raunchy, go romantic. Give her the control by telling her how she's making you feel. You're in a physically dominant position so balance it with some emotional vulnerability. Make her feel like you like the position not just because it gets you off but because you can see the parts of her you can't normally appreciate in face-to-face positions. But in a beautiful way. Make her feel like she's in control of you and your body and what you're feeling. Maybe even let her be the one to move her body while you're still for awhile. If there's something you want her to do differently, try asking her to do it rather than just saying it. Use the word "please" every now and again. The mirror is good if she gets confident but if she isn't it could just make her feel worse. It's different for a woman. Taking someone inside you is a lot more vulnerable a way to be than putting yourself inside someone else. That's why we want to see your faces. But you can get her comfortable with it if you balance the dominance with submission.

[Truckstar]

A mirror will help with the vision, you could also kiss her back and massage her, she may also be uncomfortable with it because it causes you to come too quick.

[welsh-girl]

I think most women prefer to see and kiss their partners during sex. It kinda makes it more intimate in my opinion.

However, i love doggy style with my boyfriend, i really get off on it, especially when he runs his fingers up and down my back. I think he likes the sense of power it gives him.

Maybe try and take your time and get her into a complete state of ecstasy first?

[Little]

When you say the mirror was a non-starter, does that mean you tried it and she didn't like it? Or you didn't try it for some reason?

I think it's important what Element says - I once had a friend tell me there was no way she'd ever be "****ed like a DOG." That's how she saw doggy style. If this is the kind of attitude your girlfriend has, it's going to be very hard to change it.

When I'm having sex from behind, I don't want to be touched anywhere above the hips - or in front of the hips, for that matter. Don't touch my boobs. Don't touch my clit. Doggy style is super-tight (to the point of being uncomfortable, I am physically unable to use this position with my husband except in cases of particularly good, hot sex.) I don't want or need extra stimulation to go with it, it's already TOO stimulating. Could any of these, including discomfort, be your girlfriend's issue with it, above and beyond her emotional objection?

[WannaBee]

Thanks for all the answers.

i) I can get off in no time having sex from behind. That does not mean that I actually do.
ii) I suggested the mirror, she said that wouldn't help. Maybe I should put the mirror in the bedroom anyway; for the views in other positions as well
iii) Being more emphatic/romantic is now definitely high on my to-do list.
iv) Turning her on massively and switching position sounds really good. However, whenever she is really turned on, she doesn't want to move into a new position. - I can understand that. When you feel really well, there's no way you want that feeling to end.
v) I personally don't want use the word ''please'' in the bedroom. It makes me feel like I am begging/asking something for me. I would get a sense that we are doing something for the sole purpose of my pleasure; something I find morally objectionable.

This now finally brings me to my last point.

Ladies, what is it you (personally) like most about sex from behind?

[DreamP346]

I just like variety. It's a nice change but not my favorite position.