[HelpForHappiness]

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 months now and we have been sexually active for a while. Today I found out that although she has told me she has been having orgasms that she has in fact never had one from sexual intercourse. Naturally I was devastated to find this out because all I ever want is to make her happy. She then told me that the only way she has ever been able to achieve orgasm is by masturbating, but the way she masturbates is by laying on her side and pushing on her leg (Squeezing her thighs together) now she thinks this is very weird but through some research I found out this is very normal and a lot of women use this form of masturbation in order to achieve orgasm. Most also, like my girlfriend, can only achieve orgasm through this process rather than through penetration. She tells me that sex feels good but she never gets to orgasm, she says it gets good and then just stays there. It has taken a serious toll on our relationship because she is sexually frustrated that I orgasm and she does not. I have very good control and have no issues with climaxing too soon therefore I am able to go at it for a while to help her. I would try anything to help her but she is very shy in bed and does not want to be in control. However this needs to be fixed because I want us to both mutually climax and enjoy sex together. I have heard that if she were to ween herself off of this technique of masturbation that she would be able to explore other ways of pleasuring herself to find out how to change the way she orgasms. Some side notes, She does not enjoy oral stimulation but does enjoy when I finger her. Things I am looking for are positions we can try and how to make her orgasm during sex, she wants to but she just doesn't know how. Please help me, I just want to make her happy and I want to be the best that I can be.

[jns]

If you can learn to masturbate her to orgasm, you could use that knowledge to masturbate her while having sex. You will have to take lessons from her as to what feels good. Then start masturbating her while having intercourse. Have a real light touch. Work on staying focused on her while you are building up and don't use too much pressure. If she can have several orgasms before you, all the better.

[HelpForHappiness]

I don't see how I can help her squeeze her thighs together. :-/

[jns]

Maybe I don't understand. She only squeezes her thighs together and does not use her fingers at all?

[HelpForHappiness]

She lays on her side and squeezes her legs and pushes them toward her pelvis.

[Truckstar]

Communication is the key.
I once went out with a woman that had a similar story. They believe it so much that they convince themselves that it is the only way.

I introduced her to oral techniques and after about a month of performing like an oral master-class she eventually had a little orgasm. After three months she was away in many ways.

Some women will never orgasm through intercourse alone, don't get hung up on it.

[Little]

Using alternative methods to masturbate and reach orgasm - the kind of methods that are completely incompatible with partner intercourse - is something that can be fixed, but it will require that she completely STOP using her own masturbation technique, take a sabbatical from masturbation, and begin again with a different, more sex-friendly technique. Your girlfriend may need the same "prescription" that men who masturbate with a death grip need.

[jns]

I'm glad you said that, Little. Your answer should have more weight than if I had said it. I think that a woman may take another woman's observation about female masturbation more readily than if it was from a guy.

[JonDoe]

There are many techniques to bring a woman to orgasm, but achieving simultaneous orgasm dring intercourse is among the most challenging. As others have noted, don't get hung up on the idea of bringing her to orgasm through intercourse alone. You have to get her warmed up with your hands, mouth and mind first.

There are so many tools available today such as books (She Comes First, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, One Hour Orgasm), videos (Sinclair Institute), forums, blogs, podcasts, and even freely available female friendly porn (ErosExotica, X-Art). Many people are totally against porn, but some of the so called female friendly porn depicts more loving, passionate sex that might give you some ideas.

Research and enjoy! You've already started by posting here!!