[PrincessCharming]

Alright, I would like advice from both males and females (I feel it's important to have both points of view!) on tips for loosing one's virginity.

I am 17, and I am one of the unlucky females. My hymen is too thick. I've tried many ways to break it. Horse back riding, karate, gymnastics, riding a bike, but nothing seems to work. I have been sexually active with myself for two years now, pushing on three. I know what gets me going, and I'm quite good at it. Recently, I started dating this guy. I've never had a physical relationship before (I dated a guy online for two years, coincidentally, he got me interested in sex and masturbation) and I'm overwhelmed with the need to get physical release from him. He's 16 and has had a few other women he's had sex with, so he does know what he's doing. He gets me to orgasm quite easily (I used to struggle with this big time) and is very alert on what I want. He doesn't push anything and when I say no, he stops. I feel comfortable around him, which is surprising, since I don't like how I look. We haven't been dating long, but he was the first one to say that he loved me, which shocked me. I know for a fact that I do love him as well, since it just somewhat dawned on me this one time I was talking about him to my mother. My biggest condition was that I want to be loved before I even thought of giving my virginity up, but that doesn't mean I won't agree to oral and whatnot.

Now before people say "He's 16 and he just wants sex" I can tell you, yes, he does want sex, but he also wants a relationship that has an emotional connection between the two people. When he said he loved me, I knew right then and there that he deserves my virginity. I'm not even nervous around him, clothed or not. We've had a few attempts on breaking my hymen, but he was even shocked at how thick it was. So far, we have tried missionary (not his first choice), me on top, both with lube. We got close once, but it hurt too much and I had him pull out. I've been reading that doggy style is the best way to loose your virginity though. It might not be as emotional, but it gets the job done. Having pillows under your hips and numbing the vagina with ice is supposed to help as well. Taking a few aspirin is supposed to increase sensitivity and make foreplay easier. I'm overly sensitive, so I'm a bit wary on the aspirin. I would consider taking it before to help numb the pain, but I am not sure if, medically, that is correct.

I would also like to say, I am not rushing into this. Everything feels completely natural, and right. I have thought about this, strongly, at his urging, and on my own. I do not feel pressured, and I genuinely get upset when each attempt fails. I so badly want to give him this gift, one, because of the symbolic value it would hold, and two, I won't lie, I want to finally have sex. My mother is supportive of this, but her first time wasn't painful apparently, so she hasn't been of too much help. Everyone else that I have asked over-dramatized the whole situation and made it sound worse than it supposedly is. So any kind of help at this point would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I hope it wasn't too long XP

-PrincessCharming

[Truckstar]

Princess Charming,

I hope this is a genuine question, however I will answer it as if it is. The only true way to determine if you are "Hymen intact" is by medical examination.

The Hymen is generally perforated; it’s very rare that it completely blocks the vagina. If estimated, such cases may range between one in a thousand to one in ten thousand. In these rarest of rare cases, it can be opened surgically. But if you have started menstruating or inserted a tampon, then it’s more than likely that you have some space there and only a little stretching of the hymen can do the trick.

Now because you say that you have been masturbating (a lot), the chances of you having a hymen or part of one are much less. There can be various others reasons like vigorous physical exercise, exertion or participation in sport activities. It can also break when you use tampons. And sometimes, to everyone’s shock, it is gone for reason at all.

This may have vanished in your very early years, it may also have gone as through your masturbation with objects increasing in girth you have stretched it out.

the good news is there is nothing like the real thing even though many phallus shaped objects often represent a penis well, they are not attached to a living breathing enthusiastic man. So when he fist enters you there may not be pain but there may well be surprise which you can vocalise with an "ouch", don't be disappointed if it doesn't hurt.

On a very serious side if you have noticed a barrier just inside your vulva that has not gone with finger or object insertion to say three inches you may be one of those women that require surgical assistance. However the average vagina depth - Opening to Cervix is around 4 inches (woman inches not man inches), so if you can comfortably insert a hairbrush handle or object of a similar length then the chances are your hymen is gone, but you are still a virgin because you have not had penetrative sex.

Hope this helps.

[PrincessCharming]

Truckster, thank you for the reply. I appreciate it very much.

I still do have my hymen, and there's a good chance that I am going in next week to get it surgically removed. Whenever I insert fingers, there is sharp, blinding pain whenever I touch the thin membrane and push on it. My boyfriend himself has commented on how thick it was, and was constantly apologizing for hurting me when he was attempting to get rid of it.

The question I was asking was how to go around getting rid of the hymen with the least amount of pain possible. I would like to avoid a trip to the doctors, but I will do it if I have no choice left. This is one thing I do want to give to my boyfriend, but the both of us are stumped on going about it. The pain is simply unbearable for me, but this is only when he is pushing against the hymen. He can pull out and there is no pain whatsoever. According to him though, it has moved from our recent attempt. I had done my best to keep quiet and not tense (like I said before, there are no nerves at all; I'm rather baffled by it!) to keep him from noticing how badly it hurt.

-PrincessCharming