[TejasMike]

I'm 58-year old male and married 14 year.
I have not had sex with my wife in over 3 years.
Just dont' seem to want it anymore. Wife doesn't ever bring it up
Our sex life was great before we married and a couple of years afterwards/
I'm on a lot of medications for anxiety and bi-polar
Don't get it wrong, she a great wife and I lover-I just don't have any desire for sex .

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Tejas.

It's like the old saying I think, "use it or lose it".. It's very natural once you stop something to not miss it or have a desire to take it back up.. That makes sense doesn't it? She would be in the same boat, 3 years is a long time.

Medication could be the reason for the loss of desire as well but I am also wondering if, during the honeymoon stage which is before and after marriage or a committed relationship, sex is always frequent enough but somehow alot of people then "love" each other but go into a friendship zone and same thing happens it gets less and less and it's almost forgotten to be picked up again once a month or so.

Sex is a beautiful bonding time, as in, it releases endorphins and it strengthens a relationship and if done with "love" in addition, strenthens the bond.

Like riding a bike, you never forget.

Perhaps you need to just see the good in what it does and consider attempting it again with "love"... Otherwise, you may find your "Friendship" of love becomes more like friends and I am not sure that stands the test of time for another 30 years, at only 53.

[rcoreyus]

Do you know how she feels about this? Would you mind if she found sex somewhere else?

[JonDoe]

Like the Nike slogan says -- JUST DO IT!

Talk to your wife and commit to 30 days of sex. Make it past the first week and you will be amazed!

[welsh-girl]

One thing that hasn't been touched upon is the bi polar.

I know what it's like to suffer from depression and it killed my sex drive. I had no desire and no passion. I went over 2 years without any sexual contact. Depression has a way of lowering your spirit and your morale. You often feel useless or unattractive.

Please don't stress about this, there are ways to help yourself and give your libedo a good kick into action

[Lady Syrinx]

One thing that hasn't been touched upon is the bi polar.

I know what it's like to suffer from depression and it killed my sex drive. I had no desire and no passion. I went over 2 years without any sexual contact. Depression has a way of lowering your spirit and your morale. You often feel useless or unattractive.

Please don't stress about this, there are ways to help yourself and give your libedo a good kick into action

Amen, sister! I have AD/HD and depression. Up until a couple of years ago I had zero sex drive. A combination of the depression exacerbated by the side-effects of the meds. It almost destroyed my marriage which caused the depression to get worse until I ended up spending three days in the hospital and about a month of out-patient group therapy. Part of it was getting on the right combo of meds. I am on both Welbutrin and Remeron for depression. Neither of which have sexual side-effects. However, there is only one other antidepressant that has limited or no sexual side effects. Long story short I finally have a normal sex drive again and it's great!!

[Truckstar]

I'm 58-year old male and married 14 year.
I have not had sex with my wife in over 3 years.....

Don't get it wrong, she a great wife and I lover-I just don't have any desire for sex .

You do not actually say if this is a problem for either of you. Is it a problem? If it is then you can work it out. If it is not then carry on loving each other in the way you are.