[applesandpears]

Hi wondering if anyone can help me. My basic problem is that I feel no pleasure at all during sex, of any kind. A guy can be giving me oral sex and it's a bit like someone stroking my arm. Fingering is even less. I haven't had that much actual intercourse, but it mostly felt uncomfortable (a step up from the first few times I tried, which were unbelievably painful).

I've never had much of a sex drive but I hoped that once I found the right guy and tried a few things out it would all fall into place, but its the same for every guy I've been with. Just feels like nothing. If I use a vibrator I get a few pleasurable sensations but rarely anything strong and never enough to make me orgasm.

The odd thing though is I get really quite wet - so clearly something is happening, it's just not pleasurable. Sometimes when I'm using a vibrator my muscles will start contracting and occasionally even my legs will shake, and it almost feels that this is where the pleasure ****ought**** to be - but it's just not there.

I mentioned it to my doctor and she gave me a blood test for thyroid levels and a bunch of other things, but it all came back normal.

I find it really frustrating - I'm in my mid-20s and I'm shying away from relationships because I feel it would put guys off that I just don't like sex. The last guy I dated was incredible sweet and supportive and tried really hard to give me pleasure, but it just didn't happen. I just feel really abnormal!

Has anyone ever experienced something similar or have any advice? Thanks.

[jns]

It sounds like your body is reaching orgasm, just that you are not getting pleasure from it. Do you have any sexual trauma in your background? Sexual trauma could make a person repress pleasure from sex as a defensive mechanism.

[applesandpears]

Thanks for the response. No sexual trauma. I did have a catholic upbringing, which contributed to some odd views about sex for a long while (I guess I used to think it was really gross/wrong). But I guess I thought that as I met nice guys and became more comfortable with the idea, it would naturally become more pleasurable - doesn't seem to have been the case sadly.

[jns]

Have you ever fallen in love or are relationships and sex without strong emotions for you? What brings out strong emotions in you?

[maximus the defiant]

RELAX! and let your mind take charge of your fantasies it will become one with the flesh and you will find this will magnifiy your sexual passion it works for me good luck!

[Lady Syrinx]

Are you taking any medications that may be causing this? Many medications like antidepressants can cause libido and/or response problems.

[Truckstar]

Are you attracted at all to women, as all your symptoms sound like that of my sister (we are also catholic), she spent many years trying to have pleasurable sex to no avail. She even married and had three beautiful children. She was a devout Christian and never missed church. In her mid thirties a long standing female friendship turned sexual and it awakened her inner woman. She split up with her husband who was surprisingly supportive. She is in her fifties now and still with the same woman and she has told my wife that her sex life moves from strength to strength.

Point being have you explored your own personal sexuality, even if only in your mind.