[Jasmin111]

OK, so I'm 15 yrs, and I am starting to become....anxious.
I want to have sex,but I don't want to disrespect my parents, or do something that could ultimate derail my life.

So let me be blunt:
1.) when is a good age to start having sex
2.) is watching it online a good thing or not so good?
3.) what are some 100% accurate forms of protection?

[Claret]

1.) when is a good age to start having sex - When you are ready. Good questions to ask yourself are "Will you be able to handle the consequences of having sex should protection fail? What happens if and when you break up with your partner?
2.) is watching it online a good thing or not so good? At your age I'd suggest that watching it online would not be a good thing. Depending upon WHAT you are watching it could skew your perceptions of how you should act, what you should be doing and what he/she should be doing. For the most part, when first having sex, you should just go with your emotions and with your own feeling and discover things on your own. There is plenty of time later to go on voyages of discovery for other things including any online eroticism.
3.) what are some 100% accurate forms of protection? There is no 100% accurate forms of protection. Condoms break or don't get put on in time, or fall off. The pill can only be as effective as your body is regular and as you remember to take them each and every day. Depo shots could work, but there have been instances of unwanted pregnancy with it as well. Other forms of birth control have never been closer than about 90% effective. Also consider, not only pregnancy but STD's. You'd have to be on a form of birth control AND condom to prevent both pregnancy and STD's from happening.
At your age, I'd ask myself if this boy was the person I thought I'd be spending significant time with and whether or not the relationship was of the lasting sort. If not, I'd probably see how I felt about the next guy I was dating rather than have sex with someone I didn't really feel a strong committment to.

[Euphoric]

Jasmin111,

I think Claret's answers are right on the money. Why are you anxious? Is it because of peer pressure or is it physical? Never do anything because of peer pressure from girlfriends who say they are doing it or because a guy is pressuring you. Sometimes we really like a guy and they make comments like, "If you really care about me you would, etc." Don't do anything until you are ready. If the urge is physical, there are things YOU can do to ease the tension, and I am referring to self-exploration and of course you don't have to worry about pregnancy with that.
There are a lot of things on the internet that tend to lead to false expectations.
And as Claret said, there is no form of BC that is 100% effective, but the pill and condom are a GREAT combination.
Remember this, your first time should be special because you will likely never forget it, good or bad. There is no set age to start having sex. Your mind and body will dictate those emotions, but kudos to you for wanting to be prepared and gathering opinions to make an informed decision.

[rcoreyus]

I'd slightly disagree with the above:

#1. You absolutely need to use protection, and I would strongly recommend against sex if you are not willing to have an abortion in the (unlikely) event that despite protection you get pregnant. Otherwise, the risk is just too high, a child at your age will severely impact the rest of your life. When - really depends on how you feel. You are unlikely to spend the rest of your life with someone you are dating at your age - how upset will you be if you sleep with him and then he leaves you.

#2. Watching porn is not a terribly bad idea. As long as you avoid weird / extreme stuff it might be a reasonable way to learn a bit. Watching real couples who are enjoying sex, not professionals is probably better. Its easy for people to say that porn is bad, but it seems to me to be one way to get an idea of how sex should work - some young couples really have no idea.

3. Nothing is 100%.

[DreamP346]

#2. Watching porn is not a terribly bad idea. As long as you avoid weird / extreme stuff it might be a reasonable way to learn a bit. Watching real couples who are enjoying sex, not professionals is probably better. Its easy for people to say that porn is bad, but it seems to me to be one way to get an idea of how sex should work - some young couples really have no idea.

Porn at an early age just has so much potential to be harmful, it really is better to avoid it. Its like alcohol. Its not that it is bad in itself, but we don't let kids have it because of the impact it can have on their developing brains and their ability to manage drinking. Right now, porn addiction is becoming such a problem as the young developing mind gets hooked to the idea of its easy accessiblity and misrepresentations. People who are porn addiction and started watching as a teen have a lot more problems than those got addicted as an adult.

Also, when you don't know what sex is supposed to be like, how do you know what is acting, extreme behavior and what isn't. Also, there really aren't that many realistic sexual acts with people with realistic bodies out there. You really have to know what you are looking for. Even those amateur porn isn't completely realistic. When was the last time you saw porn where the guy lost his erection or kept slipping out? how about one where the couple were embarrased and either came too early or couldn't orgasm at all. How often do you see the couple talking to each other and asking what feels good, and what to do next.

Best way to learn is do some reading. I recommend the book: Guide to Getting it On. Fun easy read, but all accurate information.

[Magnetism]

As someone who was exposed to porn at age 12, I also wouldn't recommend porn to anyone that's not an adult. Porn may be visually stimulating for anyone, but I feel like there are psychological effects. I would have rather learned about sex in a healthier way than have to look at porn.

[Claret]

Also, I'd suggest that she get to know her body herself prior to engaging in sex with someone that may or may not know what to do or how to do it.

[rcoreyus]

You make good points and what you say is certainly true for most professional porn. Some amateur porn is better. Books can be good - though some also discuss some fairly extreme behavior. Some real sex education videos would be nice, maybe there is a series somewhere? What I worry about is that without some guidance people may have a bad experience their first time. Of course the wrong sort of guidance is a problem too. No good ideas....

Porn at an early age just has so much potential to be harmful, it really is better to avoid it. Its like alcohol. Its not that it is bad in itself, but we don't let kids have it because of the impact it can have on their developing brains and their ability to manage drinking. Right now, porn addiction is becoming such a problem as the young developing mind gets hooked to the idea of its easy accessiblity and misrepresentations. People who are porn addiction and started watching as a teen have a lot more problems than those got addicted as an adult.

Also, when you don't know what sex is supposed to be like, how do you know what is acting, extreme behavior and what isn't. Also, there really aren't that many realistic sexual acts with people with realistic bodies out there. You really have to know what you are looking for. Even those amateur porn isn't completely realistic. When was the last time you saw porn where the guy lost his erection or kept slipping out? how about one where the couple were embarrased and either came too early or couldn't orgasm at all. How often do you see the couple talking to each other and asking what feels good, and what to do next.

Best way to learn is do some reading. I recommend the book: Guide to Getting it On. Fun easy read, but all accurate information.

[DreamP346]

Some real sex education videos would be nice, maybe there is a series somewhere?

There is actually a website called sexsmartfilms. You do have to pay a small fee (I think its $50) to have access to some great educational films. There is everything from instructional sex videos to information about certain sexual behavior as well as non explicit stuff. This site was created by Dr. Mark Schoen so its a legitimate site. Because it was created by an academic, its not fancy and some of the films are really old.

[Jasmin111]

its not so much my friends its more me. I actually think, its just my surroundings playing a part honestly. And my school, u try not to get caught up, and be one of the fast girls giving-and-getting for dollars, but I do have some guys Im interested in trying it with. I just want to get an understanding of what to expect.