[backtoreality]

I've been a long time single now and completely comfortable being on my own but at the same time don't want to be on my own for the rest of my life either .... I used to have a very high sex drive when I was in my 20's...over 40 now and have already been through menopause.
I am putting off getting back to dating because I am really not interested in sex anymore and actually very scared about being in that situation again...it's making me very anxious and frightened when I even think about the physical act...should I get counselling ?
The very thought of sexual intercourse makes me recoil and I don't want to feel like this

[Lulue]

Maybe you should get counselling, but for what is worthy, as long as you are comfortable and happy without sex, then keep it that way until you are emotionally and physically ready to angage in sexual activities again!

[Benni]

I was the same way after menopause. That lasted a few years then, out of nowhere 2 years ago, I became sooooo horny for sex!! A few months later I met a guy and we were together for just a couple months -- just weren't compatible. I'm in a long distance relationship with my new guy and we are very happy!!

So, just wait until you are ready. There's no rush. I'm 62 and still going strong.

I want to warn you though that because of the menopause, I had vaginal atrophy and didn't know it because I never used a dildo. My first time, with the guy who didn't last long, was extremely painful -- we couldn't complete the act.

I began using an estriol cream vaginally and was healed in 3 or 4 weeks, all was fine. Even though we didn't work out, I'll always appreciate his patience during that time.

[baker84]

The hormonal piece plays a role too...in ny there's this place the medical center for female sexuality and they are amazing in dealing with figuring out how much is a psychological issue and how much is biological. they're really helpful with all of it. but either way, don't pressure yourself to get back out there!!!