[FrankJ]

Hello Ladies,

Seems we cannot get away from news stories like the Petraeus scandal. The theme is common and we see it over and over again - young, attractive woman is incredibly drawn to an older, powerful man, and a career and family-destroying sex scandal ensues.

To me, as a guy, I honestly can't comprehend why young, attractive, intelligent women are sexually attracted to men because of their power/wealth. I can understand admiration and envy of that power, and wanting to be around that aura and learn about the man and be fascinated by him, but I don't get the sex part. Being powerful doesn't necessarily make you the most exciting lover. Indeed, most of these men are likely too arrogant and egotistical to be considerate of their lovers...

For us guys - and I fully realize this - we're much more simple in that we really don't care how powerful you are or necessarily how much money you have. Quite honestly, if you look physically gorgeous to us and have a basic level of confidence, we're attracted. I can't possibly see myself sexually attracted to a woman just because she's rich/famous/powerful for that reason alone. The power aura isn't connected to our genitals thru the brain

DISCLAIMER: Of course we're attracted to women at a deeper level, thru intelligence, kindness, personality, etc. I'm just talking about sexual attraction. In the case of Petraeus, the woman was clearly very turned on by power, specifically military power. If she wanted a hot fling there would be plenty of young, handsome, fit guys who'd be interested. Something about that older guy being a four-star general and CIA director...

So, I'm curious to hear from the women here - what is it about power/money/fame that make some women ignore looks and age and become sexually attracted to the power aspect alone? And, how many of you feel sexual attraction to a man (or woman) in a position of power, wealth or fame and why is that?

[WWYD]

For me it's in how they act/carry themselves.

A former lover of mine is a (now) retired Marine and 11 years older than me. When we were seeing each other, I'd drop anything to see him. I did anything to please him just to keep the relationship (if you can call it that) going. He broke it off about a year after it started, but has popped in and out of my life since then. I've never been able to tell him no.

At the time when we were seeing each other he wasn't married or involved with anyone. I've learned recently that he was married during one of our hawt conversation times. I can't remember why we stopped talking then but shortly thereafter I met my husband. We've talked a few times since then, the last time we stopped was because I found out I was pregnant and needed to focus on having a healthy pregnancy.

I don't know what it about him that turns me into a giggly, awe-struck teenager but he does. And I can't honest say that I wouldn't drop everything if he were to call and say he was in town and wanted to see me. He has this power over me.

One theory I have though is that my self-esteem (then and now) is very low and I doubt(ed) that anyone like that - powerful, experienced, handsome, older - would have any interest, even sexual, in someone like me - nobody, naive, Rubenesque/plus-sized, young. Then some like that shows interest and you (the girl) are so starved for attention, even negative or misguided, that you throw caution to the wind and become their play thing.

[DreamP346]

This is an interesting topic to discuss. What somebody finds attractive is very subjective. In some poor countries, a fat woman is considered attractive. Could be because it signifies wealth/resources to become fat or maybe it’s the novelty of it. To many women, the way a man carries himself makes him sexy. The person’s personality is what is attractive and that personality may be what makes him successful.

There has been some research to show that men are more attracted to curvy women because it signifies that they are more likely to be able to bear children. Conversely, the theory is that women are attracted to power and money because it signifies somebody with the resources and ability to support and protect a family. All these theories are based on the theory that we are all motivated to reproduce. Of course, there have been lots of arguments to debate that theory as well.

Think of this. A beautify women does not necessarily mean they are good in bed. Then why the strong sexual attraction? Similarly, just because they are powerful and/or rich, doesn’t necessarily mean they are good sexually.

I do have to say, the man’s personality is the most attractive thing about him. If he is very self confident and has a certain air about him, it make him very attractive. He could be a bus boy or a CEO, it’s the personality. Just so happens that most men with strong personalities are in high power positions.

[FrankJ]

Think of this. A beautify women does not necessarily mean they are good in bed. Then why the strong sexual attraction? Similarly, just because they are powerful and/or rich, doesn’t necessarily mean they are good sexually.

True! However, we tend to fantasize about being in bed with a beautiful woman with a gorgeous body. Most guys couldn't see themselves with an old, unattractive woman just because she's some political big shot. For example, I could never be sexually attracted to Hillary Clinton no matter how powerful and strong-willed she is. I guess for women it's different! Interesting, no?

[rcoreyus]

Interesting, I one time met a famous woman who as about my age and moderately attractive. To me, her fame (for doing something that impressed me) made her seem more attractive. So I guess this can affect men to some extent as well.

I think that on average women are more likely to be attracted to older men, than men are to older women, so there is more opportunity for women to find powerful (typically older) men who are also physically attractive.

One could of course imagine a valid evolutionary reason for this sort of attraction, but that doesn't mean that this is the cause.

[FrankJ]

One could of course imagine a valid evolutionary reason for this sort of attraction, but that doesn't mean that this is the cause.

I've always been a little skeptical of those scientific "evolutionary reasons" that are used to explain away things like this. Sometimes I think they are really just big guesses as you can't really prove them either way.

[Little]

Petraeus is not an unattractive man. Most men in high office have some redeeming physical qualities - we live in an increasingly media-driven society, and marketability never hurt anybody's election chances. Not that Petraeus was elected, but you get my drift.

My take on it is that people get a feeling of importance by attracting mates who have qualities or accomplishments they find important - if you worked at a corporation of hot ladies, all relatively equal in beauty and personality, wouldn't you be more titillated by the boss's affections? She's a very important lady and she wants YOU.

The same kind of feelings go through the heads of women who consistently seek the affections of married men. They feel they're extra-attractive if they're able to "take away" another woman's man.

[DreamP346]

I've always been a little skeptical of those scientific "evolutionary reasons" that are used to explain away things like this. Sometimes I think they are really just big guesses as you can't really prove them either way.

Remember, they are just theories, not laws. It is usually one or a group of intellectual people's theorized view on something. Yes, they do back it up with some evidence, but its still just a theory.

[shoshannah]

Men and women have different reproduction strategies. Ideally, successfully reproducing men would have sex with lots and lots of women, a different one every night, fathering hundreds of babies a year. The important thing is that the woman be fertile, and fertile means young and healthy (good skin, good hair/nails, at least a little curvy so she isn't seen as starving or immature sexually). If a few of the women aren't socially or economically the best picks, on average it doesn't matter as long as most of them are fertile (based on their youth and looks).

Women can have only a relatively few children. Each child takes a long time and a lot of resources, and during the last few months of pregnancy the woman is physically more vulnerable and less able to hunt/provide for herself. So she looks for a man who will be faithful to her--paying her and her baby attention and not sharing that attention with other women/babies of his. Good health, youth, muscles are good indications that he can acquire resources (a fast runner and strong hunter), but good social/economic/political standing also work since that means he has a lot of resources already stored up.