[luvelyjuggalette]

hi so my fiance gets mad because he always has to start anything intimate and i want to im just always scared to its out of my comfort zone and im scared of rejecton even from my own fiance. i dont know how to really start things ive always thought its a mans job and if a women does it shes a ***** but thats me but its making him really unhappy and makes him feel as tho i am not attracted to him. what can i do to make it easier and feel stupid trying to initiate stuff. its also hard sex talk and toys and all of that just make me uncomfortable i wish i could break myself of this help!

[DreamP346]

Try to find a way that is comfortable for you. Maybe you can text him or email him. Maybe have a non-verbal way of communicating to him. Have a silk nightgown that means you are interested. Let your fiance know that when you wear it, you are giving him a non-verbal invitation. This way you don't have to verbally say anything or even throw yourself at him. In a way, he is still making the first move.

[Guest]

This is the man that LOVES you with all of his being... Why are you scared about anything with him? You should be able to talk to him about anything...intimacy related or other wise. If not, slam the breaks on the wedding until you can.

How do you eat an enormous holiday meal? One bite at a time...
The same way you will conquer the 'fear' you have about this...one step at a time.

He's not asking you to be a 'sexual goddess' just someone who initiates it once in a while.

Try what was suggested above, or/and in addition to it, have a simple physical signal, like rubbing him high on his thigh...as a way to tell him you want to be intimate.

Reading the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of posts in here over time may help you gain confidence too.

It's a HUGE turn on for men, myself included, to have our partners initiate or lead...because we are expected to most of the time during most of our lives. So it's really nice to follow our partner's lead once in a while.

Want to send him an obvious signal? Put on the shirt he wore yesterday and little or nothing else then proceed to bring him something to drink while he's relaxing/watching tv.

Men are visual animals and respond very quickly to visual cues. We also can't read minds, so we need the dots put close together in order to see a line (in other words, be obvious).

When women stand naked in front of a mirror and see bumps, bulges and imperfections...the men who love them see nothing but curves!!

You are the single most amazing and beautiful woman he has ever seen!!

[Euphoric]

He wants you to initiate because it's a turn on to feel wanted. If he has to intiate every time he may view this as you merely consenting to his advances. He wants to know that you want him, too.

Were you raised with the attitude that be aggressive means you are a ****?? If so, it make take some time before you are comfortable taking on the role of leading and initiating. You are in a committed relationship and letting your man know that you want to be intimate with him does not make you easy or ****ting. It suggests that he turns you on and you want to be with him.

Try walking up to him and planting a passionate kiss while allowing your hands to wonder down to his bottom and pulling him into you. That way you aren't just saying I want sex, but it lets him know that is where you mind is. With time, communicating your wants will get easier.