[needsadvice!]

Hi everyone,
I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to have a stronger sex drive. I never want to fool around or have sex. I have a wonderful husband who has been very patient with me and trying many different things to fix the issue. He supports me 100% of the time. I really am not looking for emotional advice like "he just needs to be more caring and passionate" or "try therapy to see if there is a deeper issue..." I am just looking to see if anyone has any ideas on how to really spark something. I have a really hard time being pleasured just because I am never in the mood. I have tried the product Libido-max and didnt seem to have any luck there.

PLEASE, any advice helps. My husband and I are VERY open so nothing is off limits. There is no embarrassment or shame. We try different things all the time. So, please feel free to write with anything that works for you.

Thanks!!!!!

[DreamP346]

Are you on the pill or any other medications? Because those can really suppress your sex drive. If so, the first thing to do is change that.

Second, are you able to orgasm? By yourself or with your partner? If not, that may damper your desire level.

Is your desire low because sex is not pleasurable or is it that you don't desire it, but once you start going you have fun?

You will probably have to provide some more background since you can try different things

[Nonna]

Do you have fantasies? Any spots that are more responsive to the stimulation? Think about what turns you on, even a little bit. Try different things, you might be able to find out more about your own body. I think this is exactly what you need to do - to learn what your body needs.
Different types of stimulaton, some adult toys will be helpful. Watching erotic movie might turn you on as well.
Another thing I've heard about - let yourself and your husband to cuddle naked and to touch each other, but no sex! Do it 2-3 times, some psychologists say that on 4-5th time you would be dying to have sex and you might like it more and more.
I had a similar problem , although it didnt grow into real problem for me as I found some kind od a solution. I really had to explore a lot before I found what turns me on. And I am sure everyone has its own special "button" that has to be pushed for a full sexual pleasure.

[NubbinsUp]

Probably not medical, but you should see your GP or OB/GYN if this low drive is new. If it's how you've always been, there probably isn't much you can do about it, other than just try to please your husband, within reasonable bounds.

The Kama Sutra was compiled between 2,400 and 2,000 years ago by people who gave this a lot of thought. One of the lessons is that purely for sexual compatibility, two things are important for maximum harmony between man and woman. One of those is that their sex drives should match. A woman with low drive who seeks infrequent less intense sex can find happiness with a man with a much higher sex drive (or the reverse) but it isn't ideal. They may have some measure of harmony, but not maximum harmony because they don't match. The other factor is that their genital sizes should match. All is not lost when there is a mismatch, but you are both going to have to work at this sex-drive mismatch and communicate very openly.

He will have to understand and accept that you aren't going to initiate sex very often, and he should appreciate and love you for responding to his touch mostly to please him. Maybe he can lessen his demands a bit in deference to your need for a little space or cuddling without sex some of the time.

Best of luck to you, and keep working at it and talking with him.