[confusedkim]

So, I've been with my guy for 6 months now. We've lived together for 3 months. When we first hooked up, we'd have sex every day. Sometimes twice a day. He's 15 years older than me, but that hasn't phased me much. Until now.
The sex is now as (in)frequent as 2-3 times a week. Usually on the weekends. Half the time when we've been drinking. I want it more often than I'm getting it, and it hurts to not feel wanted. Especially when I feel like I'm a beautiful, younger girl...Why wouldn't he want me?
Now that we live together, we often share his computer. I've seen some of the porn on his search history including "daughter anal porn" and a plethora of other "teen" & "school girl" porn. This kind of rumbles my stomach considering the fact that he HAS a teenage daughter and because I am so much younger than him. Sick. Basically all of the porn he looks at is anal. I know he's an "*** man," and that's fine. We don't do anal, because I don't enjoy it or want it. But we'll do it doggy style, or he can put a finger up my bum, both of which I like. Anal porn? What ever floats your boat.
However, now I'm kind of tweaking out about yesterday. I came home, took a shower, and cuddled with him in my robe. Usually, when I'm just in my robe, we'll start messing around when he realizes I'm naked. Yesterday he didn't care. I put my hand down his pants and he told me to leave his **** alone. I was like, Really? Is it SO BAD living with a woman who wants to **** you?
He had been home during the day and I assumed he was looking at porn while I was out. NBD, but save a little juice for me. Seriously. The night before I wanted to have sex, but he made up some stupid fight to avoid it...after playing around for awhile. Anyway, last night, we did end up having sex, and it was pretty good. Afterward, I was like "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" And he laughed and shook his head.
Today, I looked at his browsing history, curious as to what he was watching yesterday and why he didn't want to have sex to me. I saw maybe 8 pages of "shemale gangbang" type porn. Also, in the past few weeks, rape-like porn, black cockin asian porn, and a plethora of other seriously violent "face-****edthen ****ed like rape" porn. Also live-cam webchat stuff, which, as a non-porn-participating individual I'm not sure about. Just he just watch a webcam? Or is it a two-way, where they communicate from his webcam as well?
Is this why he didn't want to have sex with me last night? Because of a day of watching shemale pornography?
I'm totally grossed out and confused. I'm not sure if I want to continue this relationship.
He never compliments me, we don't have sex nearly as often as I like, and when we do I don't feel half the connection that used to be there.
Any opinions, advice, comments on this shemale crap? He says he is not gay, and he FREAKS OUT if I try to get a finger near his *******
But with the shemale crap on top of how crappy a job he does at making me feel sexy, special, wanted in this relationship, I'm almost ready to jump at a chance to use this weird excuse to move on.
It's not like I can ask him about his violent/transerotic taste in porn. The violent stuff freaks me out, as I have been a victim of domestic abuse and battery (including strangulation), the daughter/teen stuff freaks me out because he has an 18 year old daughter and because I am so young, and the shemale stuff freaks me out because he's said some stuff about how gay men totally freak him out, and anything homophobic coming from a heterosexual male makes me think he's not comfortable or secure with his own sexuality.
I think I deserve to feel desired in a relationship. If I did, I'm not sure this would bother me so much. I just don't know...

[rcoreyus]

To me, his watching porn and not being interesting in being intimate with you is the primary problem. I think porn is OK when a real person isn't available, but never as a substitute. This is a BIG problem and one you really need to discuss.

I'm less concerned about the type of porn he watches. Porn is a reflection of someone's fantasies, not what they want to do in real life. A lot of people have fantasies that would be disturbing to other people if they found out.

I'd concentrate on the first issue, not the second. Just my $.02

[Hajduk26]

I agree that the type of porn probably isn't a huge deal, so long as it's legal. When people are alone and horny and just browsing, it's amazing what can suddenly turn a person on. In the past, I found out that my wife was watching lesbian porn, but I've never had any reason to question her heterosexuality. While I don't get off on shemales, I've seen it advertised enough to figure it's at least moderately popular. The subjugation/humiliation of women is part and parcel of almost all porn. To be honest, I sometimes watch porn that's incredibly derogatory towards women, but when my wife asks me to call her misogynistic names in the bedroom I choke lol.

I'm more concerned about the sudden lack of sex. I think porn often desensitizes people to real sex. When you can watch shemales doing anal, that's definitely more taboo than what most people will ever experience. Porn causes people to constantly push the boundaries of their sexual appetite, wanting something more hardcore than the last. In other words, I think your boyfriend is addicted to pornography, and it is eroding his regular sexual appetite. In the beginning, you were new, so it was easily overcome. Over time, however, sex with you has become akin to watching the same porn vid over and over again. That happens in every relationship (hence why so many books are written on how to spice up love lives). IMO, porn can greatly speed up the process - particularly in men.

Your boyfriend might be a perfectly good guy. You gave no reason to think otherwise. You can either confront him directly and say you need to feel more desirable to him, or try to spice things up by being a bit more taboo (rubbing his crotch under the dinner table in a crowded restaurant, for example). Regardless of what you decide to do, realize that this is HIS problem, not yours. It's up to you whether or not the relationship is worth dealing with this issue or not, but don't forget that it is HIS issue, and not a reflection on you.

[dipadas022]

You should anal sex with him. He is now boar with same type sex. He need some new excitement. Otherwise try some new poses or try anal. Enjoy sex and also try to enjoyment of your partner. Sex is not only for you. You should suffer sometime with anal then again back to the natural sex.
Try to remember him first night. And carry on with it.