[aliceinwonderland00]

Hi there ladies,

So, I'm back with my ex after a few years apart. We lost our virginities to each other when we first dated and even though we were together for a few years, I never really enjoyed sex. It always felt too tight and hurt. I thought there was something wrong with me, but when we split up I had a few other sex partners and really enjoyed the sex. No pain. I realized my guy had a huge penis. And now we're back together and I love him so much, but it's back to painful sex and no orgasms (not that he doesn't try!). It's so frustrating because I want to have the sex life I had with the other guys I dated, but I want to spend my life with this guy. What can I do? This is breaking my heart.

[jns]

Achieving orgasm one or several times may make you more accommodating of his size. How did you reach orgasm with the other partners? Penetration, oral, masturbation, combinations?

[aliceinwonderland00]

With like 2 guys I was able to orgasm through penetration and maybe one guy could get me to orgasm with oral.

It's gotten worse with my guy now. We've had sex once since we've been back together. I was tipsy for that, and even though I didn't enjoy it, I was just happy I did not cry, like I always used to. I enjoyed making him happy. The other morning we woke up and started fooling around. He gave me oral but I couldn't orgasm and then we tried to have sex but I was too tight and then I said something stupid like "I haven't had this problem with anyone else" and he went soft. Now I don't even really like kissing him and I feel turned off by the thought of sex with him. I tried explaining this to him, gently, but he's so happy to be back together that he's just like "I'm not worried. we'll work it out" but I'm FREAKING OUT because I love him but have no physical desire for him. I'm scared of the pain.

Any advise for this hot mess of a girl?

[lizzardb63]

I am married to a man with a large penis. To give you an idea he wears Magnum XL condoms and even those are a bit tight on him...sex can be painful for me too, even though I've been with him for 3 years now. The first thing we use is lube...and lots of it! Not because I can't get wet, but it just makes it much easier and smoother for the two parts to work together. Second, foreplay is important, when he fingers me it stretches me a little making it easier for sex and more enjoyable. Third, we have figured out certain positions that are less painful, such as missionary is okay, and laying on our sides is okay. Some days I can tolerate doggy style, but that's one where it's a little more painful.

Best advice, use lube, have foreplay, and talk openly with him about it...you have to work on it together and he needs to understand that too. Both of you need to be sensitive to each other's feelings (such as him saying "this never happened with anyone else" was very insensitive). Just work together on it and you'll figure it out. Promise, it just takes patience!

[nicole_3512]

I would try using lubrication.

also try being on top first and breathing out as you slowly move down his penis (putting it into you more)
I know it sounds weird but it definitely helps to deal with the pain
Stay on top until you can go up and down with no pain then try switching it.

while on top i suggest the reverse cow girl. (my favorite)