[Need_advice_209]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 8 months now. We waited to have sex until we were in an official committed monogamous relationship, which was about 3 months after we started dating. When we did start having sex it was good, sometimes exciting and made us closer. But lately, the past few months, I've been pulling away because of the emotional and physical stress that it puts me under. I've told him I dont want to have sex anymore and I don't want to do anything intimate either, just kissing and cuddling and stuff. To me I feel closer to him when we don't do those things. He just gets mad an says I am being unfair and that I am taking away something that he needs. However, the more in depth reason to not wanting to do intimate things is because every time I cum, I just get really emotional and pull away and feel disgusted, like as if he used me, but he didn't. And if he cums and I don't, then I get really upset and feel like he is such an ******* because he doesn't care about pleasuring me. Which sometimes I do feel, even without any sex involved. I remember one time he was giving me oral and said "does it always take this long?" Which really hurt and always goes through my mind when we do stuff. And not only do I get extremely emotional after intimate things, sex hurts. And not just sex but everything intimate. I used to love oral sex, but now I just get extremely swollen and red. And fingers are even worse. During sex I get really dry and we have to use a ton of lubricant in order to even start. Also, we have to make sure we do very specific positions otherwise it will hurt really bad. Sometimes I would just make him stop because I was in so much pain. Which then causes all the emotional stuff as well: what's wrong with me? Am I too high maintenance? Maybe I should just be alone for the rest of my life? Etc. I've gone to every doctor under the sun and all my pap-smears and blood tests come back negative. So physically I am fine. I don't know what's wrong with me! Is it just that my boyfriend doesn't know how to please me, or am I just a hopeless wreck? Help!!

[zitlalie90]

Hi have you thought about seeing a doctor?? Also is he your first if so that could explain why you hurt all the time. I really suggests you see a doctor and get a pal just to make sure theirs nutting wrong that could cause pain. And well are you into your bf?

[jns]

Have you been checked for allergies? What are you using for birth control?