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  • Nickismallz
    Junior Member
    • Jan 2013
    • 1

    Can't feel it!

    I am a newly married women. My husband and I waited until marriage. However, I was not a virgin. With other guys I felt so tight and I could always feel them inside me no matter how many times we slept together. With my husband, the first time I felt it and it was great. Then, we couldn't for a week bc we practice natural family planning (rhythm method). After that week we tried and I felt nothing. Also he couldn't orgasm! It was terrible. Even though I felt nothing I came...quite a bit, so he thinks I was satisfied. So he didn't cum but felt great for satisfying me and I came but felt terrible bc I felt nothing and couldn't get him off. Is this going to be my fate? What should I do?
  • nicole_3512
    Member
    • Jan 2013
    • 75

    talk to your gynecologist and find other positions to maybe help get him going.
    reverse cowgirl position is great for guys who enjoy butts.

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      Work on being happy for him that he can get you to orgasm. He can probably sense your disappointment and then gets a mental block that makes things worse by putting on too much pressure. After a while it is a self fulfilling situation. The fact that you are getting off and having fun will boost his ego and finally he will be able to reach orgasm himself. In the meantime, he should give up masturbating and porn (if he does that) and retrain his body to react to you. If he doesn't orgasm by intercourse, consider masturbating him or giving him oral. Become his source of release.

      He probably was extra excited the first time which made things peak. For you, you probably were somewhat anxious, so you didn't get as physically aroused initially which means that you didn't have as much natural lubrication. That added to the friction.

      The second time, you were probably much more physically aroused as the anxiety was gone or mostly gone. This caused you to get much wetter and reach orgasm easier. Therefore he didn't have as much friction, which in turn interfered with him reaching orgasm. If he masturbated during the time of no sex because you were possibly fertile, he lessened the sexual tension he would otherwise have.

      Consider drying off some of your wetness if you get very wet to increase the sensation he feels as well as the sensation you feel. Do this without stopping, but while slowing down a bit. You should probably do it if you can so as to not interrupt his concentration. Also, change positions at times to bring something new. You will both probably end up with favorites.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • NubbinsUp
        Member
        • Dec 2012
        • 43

        Your situation troubles you, but it doesn't sound 'awful' to me. You are just getting to know each other as sexual beings, and it is normal for you to need to explore each other's likes, dislikes, needs, and wants before finding a combination of activities that work for both of you. You'll also want to keep experimenting and trying new things, so just relax and enjoy. You'll find your way together.

        Comment

        • Guest

          A change in position perhaps? Doggie works great as a means of maximizing friction for him and for you.

          Ever heard of an area on the man's penis often referred to as the "man clit"? It's the area on the underside of the penis "head" where everything comes together and it is very sensitive...thus the name.

          Increasing the stimulation to this area will help him realize the results you apparently both desire.

          A change in positions, multiple times in a intimate session, not only adds variety but also increases interest, enthusiasm and sensation.

          As a butt man, reverse cowboy is the "baum diggity" - IMO!!

          Comment

          • MoeJr
            Member
            • Jan 2013
            • 71

            Some great advice from others! Yes indeed no reason to worry, have fun. It's actually very common for some men not to orgasm at times. Go all night ( some nights you will think of that as a plus ) and other times..well... only takes seconds. As far as the not feeling anything. I would say you were just overly excited, which means incredibly wet. If that continues as you now know you have no need to worry and it's not going to be quite as exciting every time, others advice to change positions is perfect. You each as others indicated will have that favorite, the position that works for you!

            Comment

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