[annieamos]

Hi everyone, newbie here!

So I had sex for the first time last night and I have some questions, I apologize if this is a little explicit...

I didn't feel any pain when he entered me, thankfully- my hymen was already broken through fingering and he knew what he was doing so I was very turned on.
But then it started to hurt in a weird way... like whenever he went deep I'd feel a pain in my lower stomach and it was a bit uncomfortable. and then I also felt like I had to go poop or at least fart. Is this normal? What can I do about it (both the pain and the feeling)?

While it was nice... I can't say I really felt any pleasure... This worries me, because I don't think I can have clitoral orgasms. whenever my partner goes down on me I don't really feel anything... it only starts to feel good when he accompanies it with a finger. And I know it's me, cuz the few times I tried masturbating it did absolutely nothing for me. I just don't think my clitoris is as sensitive as the average woman's
Because of my experiences during foreplay, I figured I'd be the type to orgasm primarily through penetration... cuz it does feel really good when he fingers me, except sometimes I feel like i need to pee and I have occasionally wet the bed (I squirted... I hope). Anyways, as a result last night was rather underwhelming for me.

Also, we had unprotected sex and I'm not on birth control... He pulled out every time and I know he didn't cum in me, but what are the chances of me getting pregnant from like pre-cum or something? If it makes any difference, I'm expecting my period in about 6 days or less.
(And I know, I know... it won't happen again)

In retrospect, maybe the discomfort coupled with my fear of pregnancy and the fact that he kept pulling out (happened like 4 times... obviously, it was good for him lol) precluded me feeling any pleasure... what do you think? and how can I make sure next time is better?

Thank you!

[Euphoric]

What position were you in?

If he is stimulating the back wall of your vagina it will make you feel like you need to defecate or pass gas. That is because your intestines are situated in that area.

As far as clitoral stimulation, it's different for everyone. It may be that you need more direct clitoral stimulation. Perhaps you have been stimulating yourself through the clitoral hood. A google search may help you understand the difference. When you are sexually aroused, the clitoral bud will normally protrude and engorge somewhat.

The pain you describe could be because he was hitting your cervix (if he is well endowed), or it could have been because of position. Example: if you where doing it doggy style and you felt pain, you may need to lower you rear. If you were in missionary position and had your legs bent up to your chest, you may need to bend your legs less.

You say that the few times you have masterbated it did nothing for you. I think the female orgasm is a learned art. It doesn't happen as easily for some women. It sounds like you need to practice more. It may take you a few months, and possibly a few years to find what makes you tick. You may find you are still learning more about your body and orgasms for years to come. And what works with you and your current partner may not work with another partner. Very few women orgasm through penetration alone. Most women find that some form of clitoral stimulation is needed during penetration to hit the big O.

Personally, I feel more pleasure with both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, as you described.

You may have unconsciously felt less pleasure because of the fear of pregnancy. Yes, you can get pregnant even though he pulled out because there was most likely semen residue on his penis. No lecture on condom use, because you said you are aware that you took a chance and it won't happen again. Keep in mind that some people have a latex allergy so you may want to look into latex free condoms. (For you and him).

Wetting the bed, (squirting) may have been the precurser to a g spot orgam. I have only had one, and it was GREAT. No squirting just very intense. Would love to replicate it, but I've not been successful. I can achieve clitoral orgasms (with the aid of a vibrator or bullet) easily, which is something you may want to look into to help you along. You may find that you just need a little extra stimulation (from toys) to help you achieve clitoral orgams

Euphoric

[annieamos]

What position were you in?

If he is stimulating the back wall of your vagina it will make you feel like you need to defecate or pass gas. That is because your intestines are situated in that area.

We were in the missionary position

The pain you describe could be because he was hitting your cervix (if he is well endowed), or it could have been because of position. Example: if you where doing it doggy style and you felt pain, you may need to lower you rear. If you were in missionary position and had your legs bent up to your chest, you may need to bend your legs less.

Thank you, this definitely applies... my legs were bent to my chest. we tried cowgirl later and i noticed it wasn't as bad.

You say that the few times you have masturbated it did nothing for you. I think the female orgasm is a learned art. It doesn't happen as easily for some women. It sounds like you need to practice more. It may take you a few months, and possibly a few years to find what makes you tick. You may find you are still learning more about your body and orgasms for years to come. And what works with you and your current partner may not work with another partner. Very few women orgasm through penetration alone. Most women find that some form of clitoral stimulation is needed during penetration to hit the big O.

I guess... I just don't feel inclined to masturbate, at least not in the traditional way. Growing up I discovered I could orgasm by clenching my legs together for a while... but that's the only way I know of so far. is that a g-sport orgasm?

Wetting the bed, (squirting) may have been the precurser to a g spot orgasm. I have only had one, and it was GREAT. No squirting just very intense. Would love to replicate it, but I've not been successful. I can achieve clitoral orgasms (with the aid of a vibrator or bullet) easily, which is something you may want to look into to help you along. You may find that you just need a little extra stimulation (from toys) to help you achieve clitoral orgasms

Thanks, I'll look into that! I dunno, I never fully let myself go cuz i'm usually too worried i'm about to pee... the few times it happened it was because couldn't control it lol

Thank you for your reply

[kira]

If you had sex more than once there could have been sperm leftover in between to come out during sex. If it were me I'd be getting some plan b just in case.

It sounds like you need to find a position to get his penis to point up a little more instead of bringing your legs back so far. Then it will hit the top wall where the good stuff is instead of your intestines and cervix. It will also slide up the cervix when it hits it instead of banging if angled a little instead of straight in and out.

[Euphoric]

Using the bathroom right before having sex helps to ensure that you aren't going to pee. I've heard some people say that they have experienced some incontinance during sex, others say that it's impossible. I'm not 100% sure. I think that a lot of females get the feeling that they may pee just before orgasming. It doesn't mean that you will, it's just a sign that you learn to recognize as a precurser to the orgasm that is getting ready to follow. Learning to let go is easier said than done. I think that may be part of my problem. It's a mental block.

Like I said before, I'd LOVE to replicate the g spot orgasm. I know that some people really want to squirt. For me, it's not about that. It's about the intensity and the after affect. My insides felt like they were still rolling hours afterward. A Euphoric feeling, which is why I used that as my username on this site I wanted to know if anyone had any tips to help me replicate the experience.

I don't have to orgasm every time for sex to be enjoyable. I'm very open minded to all acts of sex and positions. The only thing that's off limits is anal. Experiment on your own and with your partner. Communicate with your partner. You need to be comfortable enough that you aren't embarrassed to say, "Hey, let's put a towel on the bed in case you get me to squirt." It also makes letting go easier.

[jns]

annie, I would say your first time went reasonably well. There is a learning curve to having good sex and it is all about being open to new things and letting yourself go in comfortable situations. Don't over think things, just start noticing what works and what doesn't. Then try to do more of what works and not as much of what doesn't.

[venusinfurs]

I really would hold off labeling yourself too harshly like not being normally sensitive, etc. etc. I'm sure you really are perfectly normal hun!

As others have said here, having an orgasm even during solo sex can be very difficult if you have not explored your body very thoroughly. The mood and the setting could be making it more difficult for you. Maybe you need to really relax and do something slow before you actually get to the physical act, like meditation or taking a bath, etc. That may sound really silly but a relaxed mind is actually more capable of having an orgasm, at least it seems to be that way in my case. You might just need to take it slower, explore things more thoroughly, and not pressure yourself too much which could psychologically be delaying you. Meaning, expecting a lot out of yourself could just end up taking the fun out of it.

The thing you mentioned about feeling like you have to pee and being scared you'll pee is what happens when your g-spot is stimulated, a lot of the time. It just means you might need to empty your bladder before sexual activity. Anything else coming out then will, obviously, not be urine, and the weird sensation just means you'll orgasm. I think that as others have said here, a lot worse could have happened your first time. Maybe the position when he entered you that made you feel like you needed to use the bathroom was just awkward. Sometimes during sex you'll find a position to be very awkward and uncomfortable on your body; others will work perfectly. So it's just a matter of experimenting.

It's actually really, really challenging the first time two people have sex for both partners to orgasm, it seems. I had the same experience too. It felt pretty good but I did not climax. It's not uncommon for some guys to not realize a girl isn't feeling as good as they do, or just not know how to make her climax as effectively as she knows she can make herself climax. It's a matter of open communication outside of actually having sex [meaning just talking about what you can do to make your sex life better] and maybe giving him some pointers too. I know it seemed underwhelming, but it doesn't have to be that way in the future. It just sounds like you need to talk or give him some help since many guys are willing to really try to make their partners orgasm but mastering how to give a female an orgasm is quite tricky.

There is always a chance of becoming pregnant with the 'pull out' method. I read stories online about real couples, some married some not, who did this and it would work for a long time and then suddenly, the woman would become pregnant... so is it not reliable at all. It's a good idea to think about BC or a condom next time as you said. I'm not sure if you can become pregnant from pre-cum, but it's not a good idea in general to have unprotected sex with this method especially during your ovulation time. You can keep track of this time in general with a period planner online. It's a good idea to be a little more careful around this time in general.

[shoshannah]

I agree that things sound like they went well. it does take time to learn how to have sex. My boyfriend and I were very much in love and had done lots of other things (fingering, oral, etc.) by the time we first had intercourse, so I was comfortable with having sex both physically and emotionally, and even so, intercourse felt strange at first, and it took me a while to learn how to orgasm from it.

While you're always going to feel stretched and "filled up" to at least some degree when your man is inside you, if he goes to deep it can hurt or make you particularly sore afterwards. If you're face to face, the more you bend your knees/draw up your legs, the easier it is for him to penetrate really deeply, which can be uncomfortable sometimes. So if you're feeling pain, try keeping your legs straighter. If he's entering you from behind, that's reversed--i.e. the more bent your legs are, the deeper he can go.

Finally, I strongly suggest you use some form of birth control. Pulling out isn't very reliable and isn't very fun. :-)

Hope this helps!