[pawscrossed]

My soon to be has LGMD. He is limited due to his disability as far as what we can do it bed. He is not in a wheelchair yet but his upper arms, upper legs and hips are very weak. We can have sex with me on top and most of the time its him standing behind me with me on my knees. I know its a far shot but has anyone else out there been in my type of relationship? He can not support himself on top of me due to the degeneration of his arm muscles. We have agreed to try new things....he is the most satisfying lover I have had and has an amazing perfect "package" lol. I know that he gets upset when we try things that he can't do and really beats himself up. We are very affectionate and playful.....and are both intense lovers together.I know down the road he will end up in a chair. I already help him get up from sitting as he can't do it on his own. I want to learn how to make the most of what we can while we still can. So again if there are anyone out there who have a man with LGMD, Ilove any advice or to hear your experiences. I can explain more if anyone else may have ideas if you are not familiar with LGMD. Meanwhile, I will search the forum for anything of the topic. Thanks!!!!!

[Euphoric]

I'm not familiar with LGMD, but did a quick google search Congratulations for being committed to your partner and not basing your entire relationship on obstacles that the future may present.

You already engage in sexual activities that involve you being on top. You have the option to face him or with your backside to him. Have you tried positions such as scissor or spooning? Any position that offers him the ability to penetrate you and allows you to move up and down, side to side, or grind against him should work. It sounds like you will eventually be doing most of the work and so long as you are comfortable with that, do exactly what the two of you have agreed upon and experiment. There are going to be things that you try that are just an epic failure, but you never know if something is going to work unless you (and he) are willing to try. I think the key thing to remember is that just because one thing doesn't work so well, doesn't mean another position won't. That is true whether a person has a disability or not. Some positions are far better for my hubby and me, while others are, well, not so good. We don't get upset if a position didn't turn out like we had hoped, but hey, at least we tried.
Don't forget oral. Even when he is having trouble getting into certain positions, you can always hover above him on your knees.

Finding different and unique positions should be a journey to be explored together, not a task. I'll do some more research and see if I can come up with more ideas.

[pawscrossed]

we can do things with me on top facing both ways....him behind me with him standing...but that's all we have been able to figure out. I wanted to try things with us side to side laying down, or scissors. It's just so hard cuz he gets frustrated and loses focus when we try. Sometimes he thinks or worries that I want things that he can't give me, that I will want someone or want to find someone else who can or will. I only want him. And although it breaks my heart to know little by little his body will fail more and more, I will never break his heart. We dont live together because my apt has too many stairs....but we are trying to buy a house. I looked up sex swings and stuff like that but how would we ever hide that from my almost 13yr old eeeeek???!!!!??? He is a singer and has had his share of flings and woman all over him but never a relationship like we do have. I will be honest....sometimes I just want him to tackle me and pin me down and rock my world. Or get scared of how much more i will have to do for him and feel like sex is just another job....but when we are together and make love he wears me out. He pays attention to every part of me and uses every inch of what he is working with to explore me....then I think about how stupid those worries were to even think about. It's been hard trying to find anything online about sex and any sort of MD. I figured at some point on here someone has to be in a relationship with someone and having sex with them lol....I want to also learn how to help him feel more comfortable trying new things without feeling like crap if they don't work. We still fool around like teens eeking around and are always touching each other. Although we are in our mid 30s lol. I do like it better when he does the work....it makes me feel girly and.submissive since I do so much work and helping him with the day to day stuff outside of the bedroom. It's so hard to explain LGMD and sexual stuff. And its very different for every person who has it. I remember him when we were only 13 and they said he would be in a chair by 20-25yrs old. We kinda have a corny love story that kinds started 30 years before we were even born lol

[NinoB]

Hey Pawscrossed, I was holding my breathe for a minute reading your post because everything you said sounded like you were talking about me..till the part were you explained that you guys have known each other for years..lol
I came across the post because I have LGMD under my Google alerts, which sends me a notification anytime there is a discussion about it. I'm not the one that every really responds to random post on the internet, but because you situation is so similar to what I am going through..I just had to sign up and try to help you as much as I can..I did have second thoughts being that this is a female health board and I don't think I have any business here..lol

Im a 26 yr old Male and I was first diagnosed when I was 19..been trying to deal with this slow progressing nightmare since..Just recently got a manual chair through Tilite a year ago and had been the best investment since, gives so much more independence..But trust me, wasn't an easy decision..I knew a few years prior that It might be time to give in, but my pride wouldn't let me. I'm 6' 1" 200lbs and the last thing I wanted to do was look weak..But at some point, you have to do what you have to do. I use to always think peoples reaction towards me would change, but no, it actually made people love me even more..so I lost so much time, worrying about would others would think when it wasn't even warranted.

But as far as the bedroom goes, I know exactly how your partner feels and by reading your post, it actually gave me an insight on how the females that I've dealt with in the past and my current gf have probably looked at the situation..

Can he kneel down at least with no problems? The doggstyle position works for me but, I prefer it on the floor for stability and also close to the edge of the bed or some other sturdy furniture to hold onto in case I feel like i'm loosing balance. Also in this position, you cant throw your hips back to hard, let him control the pace and motion..

Another position..I like for my girl to sit on a chair/couch while im kneeling down in front of her. I'm able to make her lay back and throw her legs on my shoulders and support my self against the couch. If he can't kneel, he can try pulling up a chair that is the same height level as the couch your leaning back in, sit as close to the edge as possible and put your legs on his shoulders or just spread..whichever is easier... Depending on his height a couch might be too tall..you can get an adjustable office chair and lower it, but make sure its up against a corner or wall..so it doesn't move backwards or side to side.

Sitting in a chair with no arms or a recliner while my girl is on top is another good one. Hell, she even mounts me on my wheelchair at times if I'm doing work on the computer..lol , she doesn't care. Shes puts both feet on my wheels sort of like in a crouching position to achieve max penetration. She would also turn around and put both her elbows on the desk while she rides me reverse cowgirl. :-)

There aren't too many options laying down, because it is harder moving around. I love making her sit on my face and She loves being on top, so its no problem there, but spooning and scissors works for us too. But trust me, I understand it doesn't work for everyone, I've had girls that spooning just didnt work..so I guess it depends on the person.

These are just a few I can think of right now..But the most important thing is for him to work on flexibility exercises and core strengthening..it will definitely improve his range of motion and also make him feel more confident.
If you have anymore questions..feel free to ask..

[pawscrossed]

He is 5'8"ish and was always thin...he has a more rare type of lgmd. Yeah he has said life will be more easy in many ways when he gets into a chair but he is trying his hardest to stay on his feet. He has a scooter but we never use it but that needs to change. We have been starting to work on stretching and motion range. He has lost his pelvic thigh muscles....and his upper arm shoulder and back muscles. He can't get on his knees or hold much of anything cept my butt when he is behind me standing. Which I can get off from almost all of the time. His abs and core muscles I think are toned well from the amount of singing he does....there hasn't been much online about sexual stuff and any md for some reason. I will apend to this more when I am actually awake....we had a long day and he drove us on a goofy road trip lol.

[NinoB]

All I can say is, you just have to become more creative and he has to be open and willing to try new things as you go along. As long as e still has an appetite for sex, you guys should be good in the long run. You have to get through to his mind first and try to convince him not to get frustrated, then I'm sure he'll open up and trust you more..its only in the best interest of both of you..but the key thing here is creativity.

Unfortunately, like you said earlier, there aren't any sites to help you on this, but the closest thing that I've come across in the past are some interesting videos on YouTube just by doing a search for sex and disability.

[lovingnature669]

Hey Pawscrossed, I was holding my breathe for a minute reading your post because everything you said sounded like you were talking about me..till the part were you explained that you guys have known each other for years..lol
I came across the post because I have LGMD under my Google alerts, which sends me a notification anytime there is a discussion about it. I'm not the one that every really responds to random post on the internet, but because you situation is so similar to what I am going through..I just had to sign up and try to help you as much as I can..I did have second thoughts being that this is a female health board and I don't think I have any business here..lol

Im a 26 yr old Male and I was first diagnosed when I was 19..been trying to deal with this slow progressing nightmare since..Just recently got a manual chair through Tilite a year ago and had been the best investment since, gives so much more independence..But trust me, wasn't an easy decision..I knew a few years prior that It might be time to give in, but my pride wouldn't let me. I'm 6' 1" 200lbs and the last thing I wanted to do was look weak..But at some point, you have to do what you have to do. I use to always think peoples reaction towards me would change, but no, it actually made people love me even more..so I lost so much time, worrying about would others would think when it wasn't even warranted.

But as far as the bedroom goes, I know exactly how your partner feels and by reading your post, it actually gave me an insight on how the females that I've dealt with in the past and my current gf have probably looked at the situation..

Can he kneel down at least with no problems? The doggstyle position works for me but, I prefer it on the floor for stability and also close to the edge of the bed or some other sturdy furniture to hold onto in case I feel like i'm loosing balance. Also in this position, you cant throw your hips back to hard, let him control the pace and motion..

Another position..I like for my girl to sit on a chair/couch while im kneeling down in front of her. I'm able to make her lay back and throw her legs on my shoulders and support my self against the couch. If he can't kneel, he can try pulling up a chair that is the same height level as the couch your leaning back in, sit as close to the edge as possible and put your legs on his shoulders or just spread..whichever is easier... Depending on his height a couch might be too tall..you can get an adjustable office chair and lower it, but make sure its up against a corner or wall..so it doesn't move backwards or side to side.

Sitting in a chair with no arms or a recliner while my girl is on top is another good one. Hell, she even mounts me on my wheelchair at times if I'm doing work on the computer..lol , she doesn't care. Shes puts both feet on my wheels sort of like in a crouching position to achieve max penetration. She would also turn around and put both her elbows on the desk while she rides me reverse cowgirl. :-)

There aren't too many options laying down, because it is harder moving around. I love making her sit on my face and She loves being on top, so its no problem there, but spooning and scissors works for us too. But trust me, I understand it doesn't work for everyone, I've had girls that spooning just didnt work..so I guess it depends on the person.

These are just a few I can think of right now..But the most important thing is for him to work on flexibility exercises and core strengthening..it will definitely improve his range of motion and also make him feel more confident.
If you have anymore questions..feel free to ask..

Hi There NinoB and pawscrossed, what touching stories you both have shared with us. Btw, I searched, I thought LGMD are not supposed to have sex and hence children? Isn't it genetic? Is there any ways that I can contact you through email or something? I have questions to ask. Thank you.