[james1991]

ive been going out with my gf for about 6 months and ive never made her have an orgasm and she said one lad has made her before me but i feel useless in the bedroom she says she really enjoys our sex an tells me she loves me most of the time during it, i dnt know what to do any advice would be great thanks in advance

[jon-uk]

I had exactly the same situation with an ex a few years back. She'd only been with 1 guy before me and after a bit of probing - brought on by knowing she'd never felt it with me - said she'd had O with him but everything else was wonderful etc. So this put me under pressure to kind of "live up" to the last guy and even worse put her under pressure because knowing I felt pressured ruined things for her. The big mistake was asking her but I was young and stupid at the time

After a little while we both forgot about the O with ex issue and I started finding out what she actually liked, as in what made her feel good now rather than living up to ex. By and by she did have an orgasm with me - first time was quite "dramatic". She actually said afterwards she'd never actually had an orgasm with ex but she felt embarrassed saying she hadn't.

So don't think of her orgasm as like a challenge - slow down a bit and just find out what she likes, if she likes something do it a bit more. Big difference between men and women - for men an orgasm is 100% physical, if you do x it will happen. Women need to be in the right state of mind, if you do x for 3 hours it won't happen unless she's relaxed and comfortable with you.

Just relax with her, forget about orgasms and it will happen.

[james1991]

i know and i tottaly regret asking her know, but i dont know how to go about seeing what see likes because i ask her an she says she likes it all, but jus when i were doing the deed an i feel shes gettin somewhere im absoultey knakered and have to stop! she used to tell me at the start of the relation ship that i was the best sex shed ever had but dont know wether she was telling the truth or not i thought she was, an also i feel she is quite shy about the subject as she is only 18 an im 21 an doestn really say what she wants me to do on;ly in the heat of the moment she will say i like that

[Euphoric]

If you really want her to feel good, then in the moments where she is telling you something feels really good, don't stop, don't change the rhythm, just go with it. There is a reason that she is telling you it feels good and that is because she wants to continue to indulge in the pleasure being felt at that moment. It is those intense pleasurable induced moments that helps a woman go over the top.