[Passionate]

Anyone else know of a guy who's 37 who's too stressed and too exhausted to have sex with his new wife? He used to masturbate regularly (without porn the last several years though) - do you think that would make actual intercourse feel too "weak" to maintain an erection? He's only gotten a good-enough erection to penetrate me twice in this past week (and I had to be on top of him because he didn't like trying to be on top), both times were in the morning right before work, and both times he was only inside me a few minutes before he melted to soft again and we couldn't continue. I'm confused and frustrated. I want him SOOOO BADLY!!!! I've been anticipating being with him for over a year and think about him at work, during the night, it's driving me crazy.

[Bladyn'smommy16]

If he is stressed that could be a factor he also could be too conditioned by masterbation to have normal sex

[caster]

What is his overall physical condition? At 37 he should be able to maintain fairly easily. I've been through this being an issue after an injury I had, and the more it starts happening the more you stress about it, and it becomes a cycle.
I was able to work mine out but I did get a check up, my doctor said if I needed it that sometimes viagra can help boost your confidence used only a few times, once that's taken care of the stress of performing goes away and you don't need it anymore since this usually isn't a long term ED issue.

Unless he was a habitual masturbator that shouldn't have anything to do with it.

The best story on this I read was by Betty Dobson, she got her womens group to all get in the male on top position and try simulate thrusting in and out, too not go to slow to loose your erection, but not too fast to finish too quick, don't lay on and squash her, kiss her, make sure she's enjoying it,... Betty said after only a couple of minutes everyone collapsed and said; "How do men do this?"
... and women think us men have it easy...

[Passionate]

Haha caster, that's funny. I'm willing to do the work right now! We're both in good physical shape - neither of us overweight at all. He did have a major surgery due to a ruptured appendix last year - about one year ago. Maybe there is residual damage from that that is affecting him? He still gets sharp pains every now and then, but he's gotten back into working out gently the last few months. I think the masturbating was fairly habitual though - several times a week I think. I told him maybe it would just take a while to get "un-used" to that feeling and appreciate the natural feeling... I guess I'm just impatient, but I'll try to stop thinking about it and wanting it. I think he'd be scared of viagra because he's afraid it was some libido herbal pills he took last year when he saw erection difficulties going through a lot of stress that caused his appendix to burst. I rather doubt it, but not sure I could convince him of that!

[jns]

I have a coworker and friend who had an emergency appendectomy a few years back. He almost died. He is still recovering his strength.

If his Dr. is okay with ED pills, he should consider them.

[rcoreyus]

Do you know the cause and effect? Is a lack of interest causing ED, or is ED causing a lack of interest? If the second, then try doing other intimate things together to take the pressure off him and it may just recover by itself.

[JonDoe]

Stress, exhaustion, depression, lack of sleep, physical and mental well being can all impact a man's ability to achieve and/or maintain an erection. So can low testosterone. Time for him to visit the doctor.