[kadoo96]

Okay, first post--and what a strong welcome I hope to receive! So let's just jump in with my issues...

This problem started a long time ago in middle school when I started using tampons. At first, I could not for the life of me get a tampon inside of me. They were thick, and I hated it, and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Eventually I came to the realization that if I masturbated, the tampon would slide in with no problem, but getting it out once the muscles returned to a normal size was still an issue. Of course, I was in middle school and really sexually charged, so I would just masturbate when I took the tampon out too--it made it more fun and less painful. Now to this day I still have this issue with tampons, but now, this tightness issue is starting to leak into my sexual life.

I have been dating my current boyfriend on and off for four years now. He's wonderful and I trust him more than I thought I ever could trust a person, so after four years of being in a relationship I thought it was about time we had sex. I wanted to, he actually never brought it up, and so I went through all the necessary procedures to keep myself healthy and safe after proposing the idea to him(and of course he just about jumped for joy at the suggestion). I went out and bought condoms and lube, started masturbating more to get myself mentally as well as physically prepared, and by the end of extensive research on how to make a first time pleasurable and fun, I thought I was ready--oh how wrong I was.

Now, I always knew my boyfriend was going to be large. The guy is 6' 2", so I was expecting average to over average size from the get go(not that I would have minded if he didn't make that cut), but I wasn't expecting him to be quite as big as he is. He's nine inches, and I can't even wrap my hand all the way around his penis, granted, my hands are very small. Regardless, compared to my petite little 5' 2" body that has only ever been penetrated by a dildo about half the circumference of him, I figured our first time would be interesting. Unfortunately, our first time never happened. Not because I was afraid, or because someone backed out of the date--oh no, our first time hasn't happened because his ****ing **** is too big.

It doesn't hurt, trying to put it in is painless--it just doesn't fit. We can barely get the tip in before it pops out and refuses to go any further. We've tried stretching, with his fingers my fingers and my dildo(which was actually really fun, not going to lie), we've used lube, we've gotten lubed condoms and we're getting no results. It always comes back to me just being too little.

So, naturally, I'm very frustrated about this. Who wouldn't be? I've been waiting patiently for four years to have sex with this wonderful man who has been nothing but generous and kind to me, and here it's kind of my fault it doesn't work. How aggravating. I'm not sure what to do from here, but I would love some feedback. Has anyone else had this problem? How did you resolve it? Any suggestions? I was thinking getting a bigger dildo and practicing, but I'm open to other ideas as well. Honestly, I'm desperate for advise.

Thank you!

[jns]

Some other threads have been about women wanting to get stretched out for multiple fingers and other sorts of penetration. They would gradually work it so they got larger until they could accommodate what they wanted to, within reason of course. You might be able to do the same thing with progressively large dildos. You most likely will have to have orgasms for this to work. Can your bf get you there? If not, teach him what gets you there. He sounds like he is patient and game. Don't lose the fun as you progressively work toward the goal of having full blown intercourse.

[Alex HPS]

I don't know if you are aware, but you can actually purchase an inflatable dildo, with a bulb-pump and one way valve. Essentially you squeeze the bulb and the dildo expands. If you want to make the dildo smaller, there is a valve that you turn to open.

Physiologically, if you want to effect semi-permanant change in tissue length (AKA stretch) then you need to cause 'plastic deformation' by holding the stretch position for as long as possible to allow the collagen fibres time to re-align themselves.

Alex