[crystalc173]

Hi everyone i'm 20 years old and my boyfriend is 28 and we've been having an issue with his staying hard while we have sex. He was a virgin when we met and i've slept with men before and this problem has not occurred. We will start having sex and he will be hard and then a minute into it he goes almost completely soft. I have trouble getting him hard with foreplay also sometimes, then other times he will perform perfectly with no problem. I have asked him if it was me and he said no he just have issues not thinking when having sex and it causes him to go soft. Is there anything we can do to make this a lesser occurrence because its only been the past couple weeks its been happening and we've been dating for almost a year and having sex for just as long.

[__s4mmy]

My hubby used to get that when he was stressed out or tired, it sucks. Maybe that is your issue, since he said he's "thinking" during sex. Maybe try talking more and having less attempts to help get things off his mind. Or if its an issue of being tired maybe try having an hour nap when you get together and then doing the deed. This happened for about 6 months with us, either that or it would take him over an hour to get off because he just couldn't focus on what he was doing.

Could also be physical problems (hormone levels etc) maybe politely suggest he talks to his doctor?

[crystalc173]

Thanks I think its more the distraction factor because he had hdhd as a kid and i read online it can effect sexual drive so i think he needs to talk to a doctor.

[DreamP346]

This is a normal occurence for men. Every man experiences this at some point in their life. So don't think its you. If this is something that is just a recent thing, then its probably stess and other life style factors. Exercise, good diet, getting enough rest (basically all the stuff to manage stress) will help. It may go away after some time too. Don't make a big deal about it because that will add to his anxiety and make him think/worry about it more. Try making it fun by saying "this is a sign saying you need to completely focus on my pleasure only" and go with the flow. If this persists for more than a few months, then its time to see a doctor.