I love my girl soooooooo much. Im a 30 yr old fella she's 27.
Its a long distance releationship. but only because my work up here where i live cannot be moved to her and visa versa ATM. We have talked about moving in together but id be going to her (i am self employed she is not. Id find it easyer to set up elsewhere given the type of work i do and how i work things. so I'll be going to her when the time is right. (THIS I WHY IM HERE!!! IM TALKING ABOUT UPROOTING MYSELF AND MOVING TO A GIRL WHO I DONT KNOW IF IM COMPATABLE WITH....read on please.....and soz about the spelling/grammer.
we have been together for 3 n half yrs.
I wanna be clear as to where im coming from here. I aint a dickhead. your typical male 'sex' minded whatever. Im a loving partner. I take pride in pleasing my girly. I love our intimate time. This is not sex nessiserly. I am a sucker for a cuddle on the sofa, or stroking her back or her mine. just loving time. LOVELY.xxxx but lets face it!! sex is important too ye?!?!?!?!I have always been a considerate lover in all of my relationships. for me, gettin my girl off is part of the turn on. I was raised well in that respect. my ma n pa were both very liberal in the way we were raised. i am a firm feminist and hate being thrown in the same pot as lots of men when it comes to sex, relationships and messy stuff so please don't be a ******** and have a ****ty stab about male lovers here please.
I am here because our sex life is becoming a problem and i just dont know what to do!
She just will not instigate sex without me doing everything! this is no major prob, but EVERYTHING!!! She will not touch my penis without me asking her to. she hates cum. she does not like it being on her (infact if she handjobs, she aims it at me!!!! ha!
she does not like trying positions, playing, talking 'sexy', using toys, anything other than missionary or sometimes the other way round if i ask.
Now, don't get me wrong.
she does touch my penis, she does what she does well. She sucks me sometimes if i ask her, but no cum in mouth at all, and she does not like it. Thats obvious. This makes it ******** for me too. ANY CONTACT WHAT SO EVER, WITH MY PENIS IS ME ASKING HER to do so! I feel like its only me that wants sex and she is only doing it to please me coz she has to or something. I dont want that! that is a turn off!!! i dont want her doing things to me that she aint enjoying. thats ********!!!!! but How the ******** am i sposed to fulfil my own needs in this relationship???? there are two people in this!!! im 50% of that relationship so i deserve 50% of the 'Feeling' yes?
I wanna feel desired! attractive, wanted, lusted after from my lover n im gettin nothing except kisses. its ********ing me up! she tells me she loves me and i her all the time
its really hard to explain n not sound like a one sided ******** but your gonna have to bare with me coz this is hard.
When we started our rel, i told her to show me what she would like me to do or tell me if im doing something she does not want. i wanna make her feel goooood etc. I would do anything for her she desired. Her first, then me. i know im gonna get mine after all, being male and an owner of a penis. ha
she said she found kissing a turn on. It was a good start. she also said she likes me to be in control. thats fine ok. Shes a lil cutie so thats a turn on for me too. all good. It was nice. Didnt get any further than that. she later told me that if she kisses me it doesnt nessiserly mean she wants sex. sometimes it was horny sometimes not. She also just likes to kiss n cuddle without sex. Cool same here. no probs........time goes on. Im sposed to understand when she kisses me for sex and when she kisses me for just a passionate kiss. ye, I thought id be able to tell the differnce too!!!! Sometimes i get it sometimes not. its the same kiss. no difference. no sexual fire!!!! I hate to say slab of meat but well....Even to the point that if i do not instigate the sex she will just carry on kissing me but she just pushes the kiss harder onto my lips to make me see!!! AAAAAAAH thats what you mean!!!! why the ******** dont you just say "******** me Joe" or grab my manshlong or stand up and lead me to your room, or just ******** me where we are sat?!?!?!?!?! undo my ********in pants, Say "Im horny" SOMETHING!!!! why do i have to ********ing well be the one to do it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I would find that even more of a turn on sometimes!
ARG!!!! not slab of meat.....this is the girl i love! just totally uninspiring and actually libido destroying! Her inability to see herself as a sexual being is doing me damage let alone her! it cant be good for her. She wont even touch her self in front of me! which im sure you all know is a great thing for a man to see his woman doing. Its not gross, or wrong or whatever. Its ********in great!!!. Its super errotic nom nom nom.
Im wanking more than a safari park chimp atm....well not right now but you now what i mean!!!! my computer is full of porn (something which i never used to be into tbh). Im unfulfilled and just want a bit of naughty love, maybe a bit of dirt, slap n tickle....SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS!!!!! its killing me. Im resorting to watching some porn star giving deepthroat and taking a load in the face to satisfy my need. what is that about?!?!?!
I am not a cheat and never will be, but i am also a good lookin fella and i am a very talented singer/songwriter/musician in a popular band. man i sound like a twat but, i get offered all the time! We gig alot all over the world and with gigs comes socializing and getting to know your fans (if you do the job right that is!!!) and with that comes lovely girls. lots of lovely girls!!! who love nothing more than a singer in a hot band! Now like i say im not a cheat and would not be able to live with my self if i ever did, but my fantsies are becoming more tempting,
Its been fine for ages. Im not a massivly sex driven geezer. I love our lovemaking. Its wonderful. I still do LOVELOVELOVE IT!!!!! I just wish she would loosen up. try to become more passionate with me. Love making is perfect. like i say.... im talking about sex here. sometimes just sex is great you know? get horny av a good old wriggle. Im not one for loadsa 'sexy talk' dress up stuff but Having things whispered to you in bed is amazingly awesome isnt it? make you feel great? I remember what it was like to have one of my other partners get horny and grab me throw me down rip off my cloths n gobble me up! WOW that was cool. she dont do this. she just lies with her eyes closed kissing me throughout.
does she get horny???!?!?!?!?! she says she does but it manifests its self in her kissing me to let me know.....the same kiss she kisses me with when she just wants a cuddle. yes very nice sweetie, but im needin a lil more fire. Bite my ********ing lip for christ sake! im feeling ********in ********.
When sex is instigated by this..... I, then have to undress her, sort out where we are doing it, be the driver, do everything including getting her hand and moving it to my penis when we are getting into it. She HAS NEVER DONE THIS BY HERSELF WITHOUT ME TAKING HER HAND AND PLACING IT ON MY ********! its weird. Is she attracted to me or what? Penetrative sex does not work for her. she likes it for the 'together thing' which is fine. i love being inside my girl. She gets off via my hand (of which i am a bloody master if i do say so myself). She will not let me go down on her.
she thinks 'sexyness' is stupid
Everytime i instigate sex there ends up being some 'Funny' ******** takey jokey comment about it from her, (which just kills it for me.)
She has intemecy issuses obviously. this comes from feeling uncomfortable in her own body. yes but its still destroying me! at what point do i do something for me here? can i face a life of unfulfiling sex for the rest of my life????
See, it comes from when she was younger. She has a friend (who i dont like for reasons stated below) who clearly has an eating disorder (but not, just very thin naturally....****************! this girl has a problem!!!! shes very thin and very gross becuase of it and yet she says she is fat all the time) she has 'fat' issues. My gal used to be a wee bit chubby. Not fat at all, a normal size. not ill. This friend and i suspect a few others used to use my girl as a buffer to make em selves feel better. Still do sometimes. I dont like it. i have to keep my mouth shut coz they are my girls best mates. anyway. she has grown up thinking she was a fat ugly munter thanks to these wasters. She was the fat one of the group (in real terms she was the one without an eating disorder) this has had serious impact on my girls self confidence when it comes to body and sex. I suspect that hannah has had the ******** taken out of her about sex stuff too coz she is just impossible to talk to about it.
I have talked to her about it on a number of occasions. she just throws up walls and makes out im attacking her. I AM NOT. Ive even said to her that its really effecting me and my happiness
which it is quiet alot now hence my visit to you lot. This has altered nothing!!!!
The last time i got a bit angry and upset about it. purly through sadness and fustration!!!
"Whats wrong with my ********? why dont you touch it?!? are you actually attracted to me?!?!?! is it that horrible?!?! why cant we talk about stuff?!?! why dont you see this as important?!?!?" etc etc. I ended up n tears n so did she.
After we'd had a bit of a sob. I put forward to her about finding help because it is growing to be a SERIOUS problem for me. She wouldn't hear of it and just got angry with me.
I asked her if she could see this as a problem herself. She said yes but "Its just the way i am" which is ok but well......this is how i am too! maybe i need to get out? I need to feel fulfilled sexually!
I really cant stress enough how ridiculous this is coming from me! im not a sex mad person. I was never even horny all the time. If anything, i was less sexcharged than most of my friends (girls and boys)
I said to her "Your last relationships have ended because of this hav't they?" I made a judgment call on that, knowing a couple of guys she used to be with. One a ******** (literally, a ravenous boner!....clearly was not gonna work) and another. A longer relationship which lasted for 6 years the fella is a lovely geeza. A proper diamond! and yes...i was right. she said yes all of her relationships had ended coz she was 'Fridged' I then put it to her that i dont want it to end because of this but we will have to work on it together as a couple for it to work. I also put it to her to do some thinking and decide if she does wanna be with me (like i say i feel completly un wanted in terms of sexual gratification to the point that im not sure if she is just maybe afraid of being on her own and so she's with me coz im a good guy and she knows im not gonna hurt her) anyway. she made noises of agreement and she spent the next week sending lots of messages saying she loves me loads and stuff but the next time was as if we never even talked about it AGAIN!!! I felt i couldnt bring it up coz of her reaction last time and also i do not want to increae the prob for her
Im simply at my wits end. I love this girl but im also aware of how important sex is in a relationship. No its not the be all and end all, but its pretty ********ing important! i want to spend the rest of my life with her! but i cant if its like this! I hate to say it but what if i cave in one night and go with someone else. I cant see me doing that but CHRIST!!! IM ********ING HORNY IN NEED OF SOME LUST BEING DIRECTED AT ME!!!!!! and i aint gettin it from the woman i love!!!!!!!! WHAT SHALL I DO?!?!?!!? IS THERE ANYONE WhO CAN ADVISE ME?!?!?!?! ANY RESOURCES THAT I CAN TAP INTO? PLEASE HELP ME.
joe.
Its a long distance releationship. but only because my work up here where i live cannot be moved to her and visa versa ATM. We have talked about moving in together but id be going to her (i am self employed she is not. Id find it easyer to set up elsewhere given the type of work i do and how i work things. so I'll be going to her when the time is right. (THIS I WHY IM HERE!!! IM TALKING ABOUT UPROOTING MYSELF AND MOVING TO A GIRL WHO I DONT KNOW IF IM COMPATABLE WITH....read on please.....and soz about the spelling/grammer.
we have been together for 3 n half yrs.
I wanna be clear as to where im coming from here. I aint a dickhead. your typical male 'sex' minded whatever. Im a loving partner. I take pride in pleasing my girly. I love our intimate time. This is not sex nessiserly. I am a sucker for a cuddle on the sofa, or stroking her back or her mine. just loving time. LOVELY.xxxx but lets face it!! sex is important too ye?!?!?!?!I have always been a considerate lover in all of my relationships. for me, gettin my girl off is part of the turn on. I was raised well in that respect. my ma n pa were both very liberal in the way we were raised. i am a firm feminist and hate being thrown in the same pot as lots of men when it comes to sex, relationships and messy stuff so please don't be a ******** and have a ****ty stab about male lovers here please.
I am here because our sex life is becoming a problem and i just dont know what to do!
She just will not instigate sex without me doing everything! this is no major prob, but EVERYTHING!!! She will not touch my penis without me asking her to. she hates cum. she does not like it being on her (infact if she handjobs, she aims it at me!!!! ha!
she does not like trying positions, playing, talking 'sexy', using toys, anything other than missionary or sometimes the other way round if i ask.
Now, don't get me wrong.
she does touch my penis, she does what she does well. She sucks me sometimes if i ask her, but no cum in mouth at all, and she does not like it. Thats obvious. This makes it ******** for me too. ANY CONTACT WHAT SO EVER, WITH MY PENIS IS ME ASKING HER to do so! I feel like its only me that wants sex and she is only doing it to please me coz she has to or something. I dont want that! that is a turn off!!! i dont want her doing things to me that she aint enjoying. thats ********!!!!! but How the ******** am i sposed to fulfil my own needs in this relationship???? there are two people in this!!! im 50% of that relationship so i deserve 50% of the 'Feeling' yes?
I wanna feel desired! attractive, wanted, lusted after from my lover n im gettin nothing except kisses. its ********ing me up! she tells me she loves me and i her all the time
its really hard to explain n not sound like a one sided ******** but your gonna have to bare with me coz this is hard.
When we started our rel, i told her to show me what she would like me to do or tell me if im doing something she does not want. i wanna make her feel goooood etc. I would do anything for her she desired. Her first, then me. i know im gonna get mine after all, being male and an owner of a penis. ha
she said she found kissing a turn on. It was a good start. she also said she likes me to be in control. thats fine ok. Shes a lil cutie so thats a turn on for me too. all good. It was nice. Didnt get any further than that. she later told me that if she kisses me it doesnt nessiserly mean she wants sex. sometimes it was horny sometimes not. She also just likes to kiss n cuddle without sex. Cool same here. no probs........time goes on. Im sposed to understand when she kisses me for sex and when she kisses me for just a passionate kiss. ye, I thought id be able to tell the differnce too!!!! Sometimes i get it sometimes not. its the same kiss. no difference. no sexual fire!!!! I hate to say slab of meat but well....Even to the point that if i do not instigate the sex she will just carry on kissing me but she just pushes the kiss harder onto my lips to make me see!!! AAAAAAAH thats what you mean!!!! why the ******** dont you just say "******** me Joe" or grab my manshlong or stand up and lead me to your room, or just ******** me where we are sat?!?!?!?!?! undo my ********in pants, Say "Im horny" SOMETHING!!!! why do i have to ********ing well be the one to do it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I would find that even more of a turn on sometimes!
ARG!!!! not slab of meat.....this is the girl i love! just totally uninspiring and actually libido destroying! Her inability to see herself as a sexual being is doing me damage let alone her! it cant be good for her. She wont even touch her self in front of me! which im sure you all know is a great thing for a man to see his woman doing. Its not gross, or wrong or whatever. Its ********in great!!!. Its super errotic nom nom nom.
Im wanking more than a safari park chimp atm....well not right now but you now what i mean!!!! my computer is full of porn (something which i never used to be into tbh). Im unfulfilled and just want a bit of naughty love, maybe a bit of dirt, slap n tickle....SOMETHING MORE THAN THIS!!!!! its killing me. Im resorting to watching some porn star giving deepthroat and taking a load in the face to satisfy my need. what is that about?!?!?!
I am not a cheat and never will be, but i am also a good lookin fella and i am a very talented singer/songwriter/musician in a popular band. man i sound like a twat but, i get offered all the time! We gig alot all over the world and with gigs comes socializing and getting to know your fans (if you do the job right that is!!!) and with that comes lovely girls. lots of lovely girls!!! who love nothing more than a singer in a hot band! Now like i say im not a cheat and would not be able to live with my self if i ever did, but my fantsies are becoming more tempting,
Its been fine for ages. Im not a massivly sex driven geezer. I love our lovemaking. Its wonderful. I still do LOVELOVELOVE IT!!!!! I just wish she would loosen up. try to become more passionate with me. Love making is perfect. like i say.... im talking about sex here. sometimes just sex is great you know? get horny av a good old wriggle. Im not one for loadsa 'sexy talk' dress up stuff but Having things whispered to you in bed is amazingly awesome isnt it? make you feel great? I remember what it was like to have one of my other partners get horny and grab me throw me down rip off my cloths n gobble me up! WOW that was cool. she dont do this. she just lies with her eyes closed kissing me throughout.
does she get horny???!?!?!?!?! she says she does but it manifests its self in her kissing me to let me know.....the same kiss she kisses me with when she just wants a cuddle. yes very nice sweetie, but im needin a lil more fire. Bite my ********ing lip for christ sake! im feeling ********in ********.
When sex is instigated by this..... I, then have to undress her, sort out where we are doing it, be the driver, do everything including getting her hand and moving it to my penis when we are getting into it. She HAS NEVER DONE THIS BY HERSELF WITHOUT ME TAKING HER HAND AND PLACING IT ON MY ********! its weird. Is she attracted to me or what? Penetrative sex does not work for her. she likes it for the 'together thing' which is fine. i love being inside my girl. She gets off via my hand (of which i am a bloody master if i do say so myself). She will not let me go down on her.
she thinks 'sexyness' is stupid
Everytime i instigate sex there ends up being some 'Funny' ******** takey jokey comment about it from her, (which just kills it for me.)
She has intemecy issuses obviously. this comes from feeling uncomfortable in her own body. yes but its still destroying me! at what point do i do something for me here? can i face a life of unfulfiling sex for the rest of my life????
See, it comes from when she was younger. She has a friend (who i dont like for reasons stated below) who clearly has an eating disorder (but not, just very thin naturally....****************! this girl has a problem!!!! shes very thin and very gross becuase of it and yet she says she is fat all the time) she has 'fat' issues. My gal used to be a wee bit chubby. Not fat at all, a normal size. not ill. This friend and i suspect a few others used to use my girl as a buffer to make em selves feel better. Still do sometimes. I dont like it. i have to keep my mouth shut coz they are my girls best mates. anyway. she has grown up thinking she was a fat ugly munter thanks to these wasters. She was the fat one of the group (in real terms she was the one without an eating disorder) this has had serious impact on my girls self confidence when it comes to body and sex. I suspect that hannah has had the ******** taken out of her about sex stuff too coz she is just impossible to talk to about it.
I have talked to her about it on a number of occasions. she just throws up walls and makes out im attacking her. I AM NOT. Ive even said to her that its really effecting me and my happiness
which it is quiet alot now hence my visit to you lot. This has altered nothing!!!!
The last time i got a bit angry and upset about it. purly through sadness and fustration!!!
"Whats wrong with my ********? why dont you touch it?!? are you actually attracted to me?!?!?! is it that horrible?!?! why cant we talk about stuff?!?! why dont you see this as important?!?!?" etc etc. I ended up n tears n so did she.
After we'd had a bit of a sob. I put forward to her about finding help because it is growing to be a SERIOUS problem for me. She wouldn't hear of it and just got angry with me.
I asked her if she could see this as a problem herself. She said yes but "Its just the way i am" which is ok but well......this is how i am too! maybe i need to get out? I need to feel fulfilled sexually!
I really cant stress enough how ridiculous this is coming from me! im not a sex mad person. I was never even horny all the time. If anything, i was less sexcharged than most of my friends (girls and boys)
I said to her "Your last relationships have ended because of this hav't they?" I made a judgment call on that, knowing a couple of guys she used to be with. One a ******** (literally, a ravenous boner!....clearly was not gonna work) and another. A longer relationship which lasted for 6 years the fella is a lovely geeza. A proper diamond! and yes...i was right. she said yes all of her relationships had ended coz she was 'Fridged' I then put it to her that i dont want it to end because of this but we will have to work on it together as a couple for it to work. I also put it to her to do some thinking and decide if she does wanna be with me (like i say i feel completly un wanted in terms of sexual gratification to the point that im not sure if she is just maybe afraid of being on her own and so she's with me coz im a good guy and she knows im not gonna hurt her) anyway. she made noises of agreement and she spent the next week sending lots of messages saying she loves me loads and stuff but the next time was as if we never even talked about it AGAIN!!! I felt i couldnt bring it up coz of her reaction last time and also i do not want to increae the prob for her
Im simply at my wits end. I love this girl but im also aware of how important sex is in a relationship. No its not the be all and end all, but its pretty ********ing important! i want to spend the rest of my life with her! but i cant if its like this! I hate to say it but what if i cave in one night and go with someone else. I cant see me doing that but CHRIST!!! IM ********ING HORNY IN NEED OF SOME LUST BEING DIRECTED AT ME!!!!!! and i aint gettin it from the woman i love!!!!!!!! WHAT SHALL I DO?!?!?!!? IS THERE ANYONE WhO CAN ADVISE ME?!?!?!?! ANY RESOURCES THAT I CAN TAP INTO? PLEASE HELP ME.
joe.
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