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  • monoliths&dimentions
    Member
    • Mar 2011
    • 17

    Crazy Part II

    Okay so I am now married to my wonderful man, but I still cannot stop snooping through his stuff. So badly that I went through his old emails purposely looking for conversations with him and his ex (Lets call her Sara) So anyways I found A TON of old emails from Sara-back and forth a bunch of picture of them together (they traveled a lot) and then about 7 nude pictures of her in different poses and outfits. Needless to say it was awkward as ********. The worst part is I know how crazy I am being with this behavior and I just can not stop myself from committing it. I'm not jealous nor afraid of being left. I just want to know everything about her for some reason. Anyone else feel like this or does the cheese stand alone again?
    Last edited by monoliths&dimentions; 04-01-2013, 07:50 PM.
  • justme94
    Junior Member
    • Feb 2013
    • 3

    I've done this, it's hard (for me) not to, but I also hate it. I've found naked and "sexy pictures" and it kind of stings. I realize they were in a relationship, but I just dislike that he still has them. I want to know more about his 'Sara' too (though, to be honest, her name actually is Sarah) and it's easier to snoop than it is to get answers out of him.

    That being said, it can really hurt the relationship. If you don't tell him, you're lying to him and he'll either pick that up or it will just hurt you, if you do tell him, he knows you went through his personal things. Either way, you could lose his trust.

    Try to stop. Talk to him, tell him you want to know about her. That's the best advice I can give.

    Comment

    • Trisha23
      Senior Member
      • Jan 2013
      • 182

      What you feel is normal since that girl was once part of your hubby's past. And it is your fault also why you are feeling that way in the first place. As what they say, "what you don't know won't hurt you". I apply that to my present relationship as long as those were part of his past. I'd rather not know anything about those.

      Comment

      • just_you
        Junior Member
        • May 2013
        • 1

        Originally posted by justme94
        I've done this, it's hard (for me) not to, but I also hate it. I've found naked and "sexy pictures" and it kind of stings. I realize they were in a relationship, but I just dislike that he still has them. I want to know more about his 'Sara' too (though, to be honest, her name actually is Sarah) and it's easier to snoop than it is to get answers out of him.

        That being said, it can really hurt the relationship. If you don't tell him, you're lying to him and he'll either pick that up or it will just hurt you, if you do tell him, he knows you went through his personal things. Either way, you could lose his trust.

        Try to stop. Talk to him, tell him you want to know about her. That's the best advice I can give.
        Ходи си лекувай шизофренията, моето момче.Много лошо си тръгнал!!!!!!!!!!

        Comment

        • rcoreyus
          Veteran Member
          • Sep 2007
          • 4369

          Never snoop. If you find nothing, you can never know that it wasn't just hidden. If you do find something you will tend to assume the worst. When he finds out you are snooping, he will know that you don't trust him, and the biggest barrier to him doing something wrong will go away.

          If you get to the point where you need to snoop in a relationship, I think it is time to leave. What is the point of staying with someone you can't trust.

          To be honest I'd be more upset if my wife were snooping that if she cheated, since snooping implies a lack of trust. Cheating can just imply a moment of weakness.

          Comment

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