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Help,
I have been with my significant other going on 4 years now. We work opposing shifts but see each other for an hour before I go in and and hour before he goes into work. For the past few months we've only been having sex once a week. It's driving me insane. I feel like in a way I'm the stereotypical man in our relationship. I daydream about sex at work on the way to work when I'm at home... If I try to ask him about it or initiate anything he is always too tired or this is wrong or that is wrong and if I press the issue he gets agitated and says stuff like is sex worth ending a relationship over after all the things I do for you or why are you always complaining about something.. It really makes me feel in attractive and hurt. About three days ago I discovered he has a membership to transsexual porn sites and most of the porn he has been watching is this type with very little of anything like average sex. When I ask hima bout this he says he just thinks its cool to watch, and he doesn't always masturbate while he's doing it he just watches it. I don't know what else to try masturbating myself just feels so empty... Please any suggestions would be very welcome.... -
Exactly, ask him if its worth ending a relationship over sexual incompatibility and why he isn't open to discussing the situation and tryng to come to a compromise. You two really need to sit and and talk. It sounds like most of your conversations are either you begging for sex, getting upset why he isn't interested, asking him why he doesn't want sex, etc. You two need to have an open and calm discussion. It should be done when sex in not on the table - ie, not after he rejects you advances, but more of a set aside time to discuss the relationship.
Don't accuse. Explain how you feel. Talks with "I fee.... when you do...." Don't make assumptions. For example, instead of saying "why don't you find me attractive any more?" phrase it as "when I approach you for sex and you say you are too tired, it makes me feel like you aren't attracted to me any more." He needs to understand how this issue is making you feel.
Explore your fantasies. Maybe there are some things he is interested in doing that is not your "average" sex. If he likes trans porn, ask him if he would like you to wear a strap-on and try some new stuff.Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)Comment
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